What Chim Chim Cher-ee Taught Me

Kayenne

When I was still in the single digits, there were three movies I watched often.

The Sound of Music

The Goonies

Mary Poppins

Among these three, my favorite was Mary Poppins.

Mary Poppins, the nanny who arrives riding on a whirlwind.

I remember thinking as a child, is that way of arriving even allowed? She blows away the other nanny candidates with a whirlwind and arrives in style. There are several scenes I remember well, but when a coat rack came out of her bag—which was only big enough to hold a night or two's worth of luggage—my eyes lit up and I thought, 'I want a bag like that.'

It might have been the first magical item I ever wanted, even before I knew about Doraemon's four-dimensional pocket.

She can communicate with animals. She can even enter paintings. She is also a possessor of abilities that could be called superpowers or magic.

Above all, she ignores the arguments of her employer, who cares about rules and social standing, and takes the two children out to show them the world.

In the end, she even makes her employer realize that there are things more important than rules and social standing.

I loved Mary Poppins, who was bright, quick-witted, and a charming person.

On windy days, I truly believed that one day Mary Poppins might come to my house too.

Later, when I reached double digits in age, I remember being so moved when I met her at Disneyland that I couldn't find the words to speak.

Mary Poppins has a chimney sweep boyfriend, and he is also a charming person who is good at drawing and has a wonderful smile.

He was at Disneyland too, so I had my picture taken sandwiched between the two of them.

His name is Bert. Bert's main job is chimney sweeping. He took pride in his work as a chimney sweep and was positive no matter what.

There is a song he sings in the movie called "Chim Chim Cher-ee".

At the time, being in the single digits, I didn't understand the meaning of the lyrics, but I thought of it as "a song sung with a smile, even though it's sad."

It sounds sad.
Yet, Bert, who is singing it, is smiling.

The melody is in a minor key.
That is why it sounds sad.

But why was Bert smiling?
He was a chimney sweep, and even when his face was covered in soot, he would show his white teeth and smile, looking happy.
I remember that Bert was popular among the chimney sweeps.

About five years ago, I encountered this song again.
At that time, I couldn't envision a bright future for myself regarding my work and my family.

I was someone who couldn't handle things well.
I was someone who couldn't get things done efficiently.
I was someone who couldn't say what I wanted to say.

I was disgusted with all the different versions of myself.

However, that was the result of the weight of wanting to live up to the expectations of those around me.

As a professional.
As a mother.
As a wife.
As a daughter-in-law.

I thought I was inadequate.
Thinking back on it now, I wasn't inadequate at all, but I suppose I had been made to believe that, or perhaps I was just that cornered.

When I had nowhere to put my feelings and was feeling depressed, I found a video of "Chim Chim Cher-ee" on YouTube and played it out of nostalgia.

The beautiful piano melody has a somewhat melancholic atmosphere, but I knew.

It sounds sad, but it is not a sad song.

I pictured Bert, taking pride in himself, singing loudly and with a smile, strong and resilient.

Being a chimney sweep was by no means a popular job at the time, and if anything, it was a job that was looked down upon.

Yet, even while doing such work, Bert sang about himself as someone who "brings good luck."

I have never seen anyone with such high self-esteem.

I cried.
Beside my sleeping child.
I cried alone.

I am not particularly skilled, and there are many things I am not good at, but there is no reason why I should be considered inadequate when I do my job properly and fulfill my responsibilities as a mother to the best of my ability.

As a wife or a daughter-in-law, I may indeed be inadequate.

But that is a different story.

People around me love to say all sorts of things.
They want to impose their ideals and hopes on me and make me act accordingly.

Unfortunately, I cannot do that.

And I truly hate being treated that way.

I might be called contrary at times.
But that just means I have a will of my own.

That is how I have lived.
That is how I have made my dreams come true.

Of course, I have also worked hard.

I am doing enough.

Even if I cannot smile as broadly as Bert, or sing as loudly, I have kept moving forward without becoming bitter, no matter the situation.

I had forgotten that.

My future is bright.

Thinking that, I began to walk once more.

It is not that I have no hardships even now.
There are still many times when things get tough.

But no matter what, I will always be able to overcome them.

I'm always covered in ash and smoke,
but there's no one happier than me in this world.

Someday, the day will come when I can sing as loudly as Bert.

That is my certain future.