I want to say it, but I can't... What is the true nature of a workplace where you can't voice your 'dissatisfaction with evaluations'?

Mr. Yoshikawa, a company executive who insists he is a vegan despite having a waistline that looks like it's 150 years old.

It was his colleague, Kurosawa, who once confronted Mr. Yoshikawa with dissatisfaction regarding his performance evaluation.

He explained his attitude toward goals and his achievements in great detail.

Kurosawa argued that despite working this hard, his evaluation was low, but Mr. Yoshikawa retorted, 'If we do that, it might necessitate changing the evaluation criteria we've spent years building.'

The two of them were so insensitive that they started discussing such a delicate matter in a space separated only by partitions.

Even after that, Mr. Yoshikawa's catchphrase, 'if we do that', echoed through the office over a dozen times, and that phrase was all that remained in my ears.

Introduction

'I'm not satisfied with my evaluation.' Have you ever felt that way?

Many people have likely felt frustrated in situations where they produce results but aren't rewarded, or where someone else gets promoted just because they are liked by the boss.

However, when you try to voice that dissatisfaction—

'You're ruining the mood,' 'Come on, don't say things like that,' 'Here we go again...'

You are treated like a 'leper' by those around you, and in the end, you swallow your words without saying anything...

Doesn't such an 'atmosphere where you can't say what you want to say' exist in your workplace as well?

In this article, we will approach the true nature of an atmosphere where you cannot or are not allowed to express dissatisfaction with evaluations from a psychological perspective, and consider ways to break through it.

And one more thing—
we will also unravel this issue from the perspective of the 'need for approval' that lies at its root.

Who should read this article?

• People who are not satisfied with their evaluations but are afraid to speak up

• People who don't know how to deal with colleagues who voice their dissatisfaction

• People who are always worried about those around them so as not to 'ruin the mood'

• Managers and leaders who want to create a healthy environment for dialogue within their teams

Benefits of reading this article

• Understand the psychological factors behind the 'atmosphere where you can't speak up'

• Clarify why you find it difficult to express your dissatisfaction

• Learn the characteristics of both those who are treated like a hot potato and those who treat them that way

• Discover concrete ways to express your opinions without ruining the atmosphere

• Understand the relationship between evaluation and the desire for approval

What is the true nature of the 'bad atmosphere' caused by expressing dissatisfaction with evaluations?

Why does simply expressing dissatisfaction make you a 'troublesome person'?

In a workplace group, voicing dissatisfaction or negative opinions is easily perceived by those around you as an act that disrupts the atmosphere.

Psychologically, this is related to 'conformity pressure'.

Humans have an unconscious tendency to perceive 'not disrupting harmony' as 'justice', and this tendency is particularly strong in Japanese society.

Furthermore, another factor involved here is the clash of the desire for approval.

Everyone has a desire to be thought well of by those around them and not to have their evaluation lowered. Therefore,

- The person expressing dissatisfaction → The desire for approval to be 'evaluated fairly'
- People around them → The desire for approval to 'be a good person without causing waves'

When these two clash, a dynamic of 'the person who ruins the atmosphere vs. the person who protects the atmosphere' is created.

Psychological characteristics of people who are treated like a hot potato

1. They are honest and cannot hide their feelings

They are the type who cannot hold in the discomfort or dissatisfaction they feel inside and would rather put it into words and organize it than endure it.

While they are honest and have no hidden agenda, they also have a
tendency to find it difficult to suppress dissatisfaction because their desire for approval to be 'evaluated fairly' is strong.

2. Expressing emotions when you cannot accept the situation

Anger and frustration toward unreasonable situations easily show on your face and in your attitude, and there is a tendency for emotions to take precedence.

If you are not good at explaining things calmly, you are more likely to be seen as a 'difficult person'.

This is not just an emotional reaction, but also a
sign that the desire to have one's efforts and value recognized is not being met.

3. Wanting to assert oneself first to protect oneself

Some people voice their dissatisfaction in advance because of the experience that 'if you stay silent, you lose out'.

It is more of a defensive psychology than an aggressive one, but it tends to give a negative impression to those around you.

Psychological characteristics of people who treat others like a sore thumb

1. Afraid of getting involved

These are people who, if they listen to and empathize with dissatisfaction, are afraid of being thought to be in agreement, so they keep their distance.

It feels a bit cunning...

To protect their own position, they choose to look the other way.

This is also an expression of the
desire to gain approval from a safe position, such as 'not wanting to lower one's evaluation' or 'not wanting to make waves'.

2. Not good at facing problems directly

Even if they realize that there are actual problems, such as unfair evaluations or ambiguous personnel decisions, they have a psychology of not wanting to admit it.

The 'pretending not to notice' eventually leads to treating others like a sore thumb.

If they admit to the unfairness, doubts would arise about their own position and evaluation, so a
psychology of wanting to maintain approval as things are is at work.

3. Prioritizing the atmosphere and wanting to protect the mood of the place

There are also people who say, 'I don't like it when someone voices dissatisfaction because it ruins the team atmosphere.'

They have a strong value system that 'everyone getting along' is correct, and they want to avoid conflict or dissent.

3 measures to break through the 'atmosphere where you can't say what you want'

1. Convert dissatisfaction into 'proposals'

If you have questions about an evaluation, telling your boss 'I don't agree' directly is likely to trigger a defensive reaction.

Instead, try saying things like,

• 'What points should I work on next to improve my evaluation?'

• 'I think everyone would find it easier to accept if there were criteria like XX.'

By conveying your thoughts in the form of constructive proposals or questions, you can share your opinion without disrupting the atmosphere.

This is not just a trick in how you communicate, but also
a way to assert yourself in a 'validated form' rather than through 'confrontation'.

2. Convey opinions through a third party or notes

If it is difficult to communicate directly, it is also effective to use a 'cushioning' approach, such as having HR or your supervisor conduct an anonymous survey, or asking a trusted colleague to speak on your behalf.

Also, summarizing your main points in a note before an evaluation interview makes it easier to proceed calmly and logically.

3. Cultivate 'relationships' rather than 'atmosphere'

If you are too bound by the atmosphere, you will end up unable to say anything at all.

What is truly important is not 'what was said,' but 'who said it and how it is received'.

In other words, this is also about
building a foundation of approval—a relationship where people think, 'I want to accept this person's opinion'.

By building trust with your supervisors and colleagues on a daily basis, even remarks that slightly shake the atmosphere become easier to accept as 'just one opinion'.

Let's summarize briefly.

'I have something I want to say, but I can't.' 'If I say it, I'll be seen as a difficult person.'

Continuing to work in such an atmosphere wears down your spirit more than you might think.

Silence may seem like a safe choice at first glance, but in the long run, it strips away your sense of self-worth and motivation.

Because it is also an act of continuously suppressing your own natural desire to
be acknowledged.

That is why it is important to change the relationship little by little, rather than being swallowed by the atmosphere.

The 'fuzziness' you are feeling is by no means wrong.

It is a sign of a healthy desire to 'be recognized more fairly'.

There is always a way to convey your honest feelings without 'breaking the atmosphere'.

That first step might be the catalyst that changes your working environment.

Thank you for reading this far.

If you would like, likes, comments, and follows would be a great encouragement.

I look forward to your continued support.