A story about people who are good at finding faults in others

Isn't there always someone who is exceptionally good at finding faults in others? Haha

And what's more, they are pinpoint accurate.

They pick up on tiny details that make you think, 'You noticed that?' and because they are good at articulating it, you end up feeling a bit convinced when they tell you... haha

Honestly, I think they have high ability.

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You could also say they have high observational skills. People like this,

・Watch people's words and actions closely

・Are quick to notice when something feels off

・Can pick up on subtle discrepancies

In other words, they are people with high observational skills.

I feel this even when I'm doing fortune-telling... this type is naturally suited for analysis and insight.

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However, everything changes depending on how it's used.

The problem is the 'usage' of this ability.

Even with the same observational skills,

・People who use it for improvement or understanding

・People who use it for pointing out flaws or criticism

...the impact they have on those around them is completely different.

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Why do they focus on the bad points...

If you look at it a bit cynically, finding other people's flaws is a convenient way to protect your own position.

・I am not wrong

・The other person is the one who is off-base

It's easier to think that way.

Since we are human, this is in a sense a natural reaction.

(I have definitely done this too. It's not something I can deny.)

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What happens when you are with them...?

However, being with this type of person is slowly exhausting.

The reason is,

・You feel like you are constantly being watched

・You can't shake the feeling of being evaluated

・Even minor mistakes are picked up on

You just can't relax.

Perhaps you could call it a state of being constantly lightly tested. A life of being graded is quite tough.

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Whether they are right is a separate issue.

What makes this complicated is that the points these people make are not all wrong. In fact, there are many times when "

what they are saying is correct".

That is exactly why it is troublesome.

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The important thing is "how to keep your distance"

So, what should you do?
Trying to change the other person usually just wears you out.

What's more important than that is...
deciding how much distance to keep in your interactions.

・Is this someone you should be deeply involved with?

・Is a superficial relationship fine?

・Should you keep your distance from them altogether?

Choosing this for yourself is much easier.

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Something I think about while doing fortune-telling...

When I do fortune-telling, I get a lot of consultations about being tired of human relationships.
But a common theme among them is a state where people are so focused on trying to understand the other person that they don't realize they are exhausting themselves.

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In conclusion.

People who are good at finding faults in others have excellent abilities.

When evaluating someone who is good at nitpicking positively,
they have "observational skills," "insight," "high linguistic ability," "high expressive power," "a knack for finding issues," "the ability to raise problems," "the ability to find loopholes," "a talent for debugging," etc.

I think it is possible to view their characteristics positively.

Conversely, if you were to look for faults in someone who is good at finding faults...
they "tend to make enemies," "have a difficult personality," "lack cooperativeness," "disrupt the group," "ruin the atmosphere," "dampen the motivation of those around them," "are not suited for teamwork," etc.

You can also view them negatively.

Since they evaluate others negatively, it only makes sense that they would be evaluated negatively when it's their turn to be evaluated... haha.

However... whether or not it's comfortable to be with such a person is a different story.

Even if you find faults in others, you can choose whether or not to express them, right?
It's not like you have to output everything you think; you could understand someone's faults and act to compensate for them, or give instructions and communicate in a way that isn't unpleasant so that everyone can spend time together comfortably...

I thought that I need to be careful about this myself as well.

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Finally.

The ability to see people for who they are and the ability to interact with them comfortably are not necessarily the same thing.
It is not about which one is correct, but rather what kind of environment you want to spend your time in that is more important.

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If you are feeling a little tired right now because of someone's words... it does not mean you are weak; it may simply be that the "environment is not a good fit."

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Thank you for reading this far.

At the very least, you are not someone who "sees nothing," but someone who is able to perceive things properly.

That is something that truly has value.