Sometimes You Have to Be Willing to Be Disliked - On Art 'Reviews' and Being Yourself

This is a story from when I first started writing 'reviews' of art exhibitions on Instagram.

At the time, my account was used like a diary blog. While I did write reviews of art exhibitions, most of my posts were about music concerts I attended (mostly hardcore punk), professional wrestling events, records I had purchased, photos from my travels, or pictures of my daily meals.

It was, in short, a miscellaneous account, so when I shifted to content focused entirely on art—like it is now—it took a bit of courage. I knew even then that it wasn't good to worry too much about the number of 'likes,' but the number of likes on my art exhibition reviews was still far too low (about one-fifth of my usual posts). It was clear that my followers at the time were fans of the same music or wrestling as me and weren't particularly interested in art (this analysis is based on the followers as a whole, though there were individual followers who were into art and design). In fact, judging by the extreme difference in 'likes,' I suspected that some people might even dislike these kinds of art-related posts.

Among those followers were people I had met offline. Even though I knew I couldn't just post about what the other person liked, the idea that I was 'being disliked' changed things a bit (even if it was just in my head).

(I shouldn't care about this)

While I chanted that to myself like a mantra,

(They probably don't really like these kinds of posts...)

I would think, while still churning out what were essentially art exhibition reviews. Even now, with more followers who are clearly interested in art or have some interest in it, I still think about that a little bit.

The words that supported me through that, in a sense, ironically, were words I heard when I was frequenting punk rock shows.

If you satisfy others but aren't satisfied yourself, it's meaningless.

It's not an exact quote, but it's something Ken Yokoyama, a guitarist known for his work with Hi-STANDARD, said in an interview for a documentary.

It's not that I couldn't have just kept posting things to satisfy my previous followers, keeping them in mind. I could have continued going to live houses and festivals, or to venues where professional wrestling matches were held. Or, taking the opposite approach, I could have stopped posting about art, only posted to my stories, or stayed silent by not posting at all.

But what would be the point if, after suppressing my 'true self' like that, the SNS itself became boring? If this were a so-called 'rice work' job—the kind where you'd lose your livelihood if you didn't do it—that would be one thing, but fundamentally, this is just a hobby SNS (though it's true that since graduating from university and getting my curator qualification, it's starting to go beyond the scope of a hobby). Unless I was posting something illegal or unethical that would hurt someone, I really have to wonder what kind of logic it was that made me think I 'shouldn't post.' When I realized I was worrying too much about my followers and thinking about what kind of posts would make them happy, I felt like I had 'lost.'

I think that's about when I started leaning even more into my art appreciation posts. I forget when it was, but I decided to make my main posts only about art appreciation, and everything else would go on my stories or other social media. It was a difficult task (a penance?) for someone like me with broken Japanese to write several hundred characters every time, but continuing to write within those 'shackles' was more fun for me than anything else. Even if it was the same sense of duty, writing for myself rather than for others made all the difference in the world.

And it makes me happy to see reactions from people who have seen or read my posts and gained something from them. This was a trend that didn't exist at all before I started posting about art. People have visited museums because of what I wrote, or taken family members who were feeling down... I've even been told, 'Your account has so many images that it's fun just to look at them (even without reading the text).' Still, the basis is for myself, and I didn't intend to write for anyone else that much, but if I can entertain or sometimes even save someone out of 1,000 page views, isn't that great? I think I was able to realize that because it was about art appreciation, which I love. Of course, it's not that I've come to dislike metal-leaning punk rock, rap, or professional wrestling, but there is a joy that can only be found in art appreciation...

Admittedly, posting differently than before might mean losing acquaintances, or even friends, who followed me for the same hobbies. However, when you start to fake who you are because you value relationships with others too much, you gradually start to wear yourself down... It's like being Anpanman without Uncle Jam. My face might be filling the stomachs of Kabao-kun or Usako-chan, but I myself am not satisfied, and eventually, only my headless body is left standing there in vain. It's simple to think about now, but do I really need to actively maintain relationships with people who would reject me just because my hobbies changed a little? It might be a utilitarian or calculating way of thinking, but I might even gain new acquaintances through my new hobbies. Whether it's fortunate or not, art fans are not a monolithic group. There's no one preaching hypocrisy like 'there are no bad people among art lovers,' and while there are people who like traditional Japanese painting, there are also people who like contemporary art that is so innovative it seems incomprehensible at first glance. Even if there are parts where opinions don't match, it's basically a world where 'sleeping in the same boat' is allowed across the entire fan community. It's a world of hobbies where you aren't required to have strange solidarity, meaning everyone can be free. Of course, there are art fans who don't allow that, but their existence is also somewhat relative.

Sometimes, be prepared to be disliked. There was a book called 'The Courage to Be Disliked,' but whether you're diving into a new world, expressing more of your true self, or—if you're in a popularity-based business—gaining new fans... in any case, when you try to escape the 'status quo,' you may inevitably face cold treatment or backlash from that 'status quo.' I think what's needed there is not to withdraw those words or actions, but rather the courage to 'go for it' and brandish them.

Of course, you need to assess what the current 'status quo' is. However, I feel like you can't really move on to the next step unless you're prepared to be disliked by the status quo to some extent.