The Cat Said Carefree, 'You Don't Need to Grow' — A Psychology Lecture from Senior Cat for Me, Who Is Tired of Trying So Hard

The story of how I stepped off the staircase of 'growth' and started sunbathing with a cat

Prologue: 2:00 AM, clutching my credit card

'Sigh... it's no use, I'm completely being left behind.'

2:00 AM on a weekend. In my quiet room, I squinted at the blinding light of my laptop, trembling with intense anxiety.

It all started with social media, which I had been scrolling through aimlessly while lying in bed.

A brilliant group photo captioned, 'Started a business with friends from my generation!'

A post from a high-minded influencer titled, '5 Essential Skills to Increase Your Market Value in Your 30s.'

In contrast, I spend every day working late, caught between my boss and clients, and burning out without achieving anything significant.

'I have to grow more... I'll sign up for an English certification and an online data analysis course this month. If I don't get on the track to my 'ideal career' by next year, my life will seriously be a lost cause...'

Just as I took out my credit card with teary eyes and was about to proceed to the course registration screen, it happened.

'Hey, hey, you're pounding away at your computer at two in the morning with a face like a Hannya mask. Are you looking at the screen? Or are you looking at your own 'curse'?'

From inside the kotatsu, a shadow emerged, stretching out one gray leg and speaking to me with a grand yawn.

It was Senior Cat.

A mysterious cat who talks like a human and has been squatting in my room before I knew it. He's a fan of historical psychologists, and even though he's usually curled up in the kotatsu, for some reason, he relentlessly hits me with evidence-based jabs regarding my mental state.

'Calling it a curse is uncalled for! It's effort, effort. You might not understand, Senior Cat, but humans have this thing called an 'ideal self.' If I don't work hard to get closer to that, I'll end up hating myself more and more.'

When I retorted desperately, Senior Cat crawled out of the kotatsu. He walked over with a heavy, steady gait like Bradley, and sat down on my laptop keyboard with a nonchalant look on his face.

'Hey, I can't see the screen! Move!'

'I won't. Hey, who exactly is this 'ideal self' of yours? Is it some kind of monster made of a boiled-down social media timeline—someone who makes ten million yen a year, speaks fluent English, goes to the gym three times a week, and lives a refined life on their days off?'

'A monster... But isn't it a good thing to have ambition and want to become like that?'

'You idiot. Cool your head a little.'

Cat Senior pressed his cool paw pads firmly against the wrinkles between my eyebrows.

“Ouch! What are you doing?”

“Listen, I’ll tell you why the harder you try to work, the more you end up hating yourself and the more your mental state falls apart. That ‘ideal’ of yours isn’t something you truly desire from the heart. It’s just a ‘fake’ imported directly into your brain from other people’s values. And that fake ideal is what’s coming to beat you up right now.”

Chapter 1: Why does trying so hard make me hate myself?

1. The 'Three Selves' fighting inside your heart

“Fake...? But these are goals I decided on myself.”

“That’s right. In the world of psychology, the mechanism by which humans get ‘bugged’ because of those ‘ideals’ was proven a long time ago. Have you ever heard the name of a great psychologist named E. T. Higgins?”

Once Cat Senior finally stepped off the keyboard, he skillfully pulled the notebook and pen that were on my desk toward him with his front paws. Then, he scribbled three phrases in round, blocky letters.

• Actual Self (the current me)

• Ideal Self (the me I want to be)

• Ought Self (the me I should be)

“Listen, what that guy Higgins proposed is called ‘Self-Discrepancy Theory.’ Humans have these ‘three selves’ inside their hearts. And when these three don’t get along, a person’s mental state collapses in a fascinating way.”

Cat Senior drew a large X connecting the ‘Actual Self’ and the ‘Ideal Self’.

“First, there is the state where there is a gap between ① ‘the current me’ and ② ‘the ideal me I want to be.’ This is called [Actual-Ideal Discrepancy]. When this happens, humans feel discouraged, thinking ‘Why am I so useless?,’ and experience a sense of helplessness, leading to [depression (feeling down)]. This is what happens when you look at social media and feel gloomy, thinking, ‘Compared to everyone else, I am...’ ”

“Ugh... that’s exactly it. I feel pathetic for not reaching my ideal.”

“The story isn’t over yet. The nasty part is what comes next.”

This time, Cat Senior drew an X between the ‘Actual Self’ and the ‘Ought Self’.

“The other one is the gap between ① ‘the current me’ and ③ ‘the Ought Self, the me I should be.’ This is called [Actual-Ought Discrepancy]. I can’t be left behind by those around me, I have to increase my market value, if I’m in my 30s I have to have this much or I’ll be cast aside... When you are chased by these ‘shoulds,’ humans aren’t hit with depression, but with intense [anxiety and impatience]. Like, ‘What if I fail?’ or ‘What if it’s too late?’ ”

I stared intently at the X marks written in the notebook.

Depression and impatience.

"Right now, you've got bloodshot eyes in the middle of the night, taking a double punch from both 'ideals' and 'obligations.' Your brain is constantly sounding an alarm saying, 'I have no value as I am right now!' There's no way you'll absorb anything if you study in that state. What you're doing isn't effort; it's just 'self-harm through anxiety.'"

Cat Mentor's words pierced my chest, painfully so.

I was trying hard. But it wasn't because I wanted to move toward something; it was just because I couldn't bear the terror of my 'current self.' I was about to click the sign-up button for a certification just to escape that terror.

2. Why do we only look 'up' and fall into despair?

"I used to think it would be fine to just live a laid-back life. Why did I end up taking on these 'fake ideals' and 'obligations' that make me suffer so much?"

"That's not because you're stupid, but because human brains have had that kind of 'buggy program' installed from the start. A psychologist named Leon Festinger discovered this. He named it 'Social Comparison Theory.'"

Cat Mentor drew a simple pyramid on the edge of my notebook.

"Humans don't have an absolute yardstick to measure their own correctness or ability. That's why we are creatures who can only confirm our standing by 'comparing ourselves to others.' And you see, there are two directions for comparison."

Cat Mentor drew an arrow pointing toward the top of the pyramid.

"Comparing yourself to someone superior, someone above you, is called 'upward comparison.' If done at an appropriate level, this can be motivation, like 'Alright, I'll do my best too!' But in today's internet society, this is completely bugged."

"The internet society is bugged?"

"That's right. A while back, the targets for comparison were at most 'local classmates' or 'colleagues at the same company.' People on your own level, like comparing acorns. But how is it now? If you open your smartphone, success stories of 'monsters in the top 0.1%' from all over Japan, no, the whole world, flow into your timeline 24 hours a day. Annual income, career, appearance, a happy family... If you're shown things like that daily, your brain gets the wrong idea. It thinks, 'Everyone around me is so far above me, why am I so far below?'"

Cat Mentor nudged my smartphone with his front paw, turning the screen black.

"Since you're being forced to engage in 'upward comparison' all day long, your brain is constantly feeling a 'sense of defeat.' In other words, the anxiety you're feeling isn't because you're incompetent. It's an 'environmental bug' where you're being made to compare yourself to elites from all over the world 24/7 through your smartphone. Your ideal self isn't a wish that welled up from your own heart. It's a monster like Frankenstein, made by stitching together the boasts of others scattered across your timeline."

Silence flowed through the room.

Outside the window, I could hear the faint sound of a truck driving in the distance.

"An environmental... bug..."

I looked at the darkened smartphone screen once more. What was reflected there was my own face, exhausted, with terrible dark circles under my eyes.

I had stubbornly believed that 'because my abilities are insufficient, I must grow more.' But as Cat Mentor said, what I had been chasing might have been a phantom created by social media, the values of someone other than myself.

"...Hey, Cat Mentor. Maybe I really was bugged. I feel like even if I signed up for this, I would have just been chased around for the rest of my life by the next certification, the next skill."

'Good for you for realizing that early. Humans aren't tuna; you won't die if you stop moving, and you don't need to keep getting bigger every year on your own. First, break that 'obsession with growth.' We can talk after that.'

I quietly closed the MacBook I had been using with a snap.

Strangely, just by doing that, I felt like the heavy, oppressive lump that had been tightening my chest had lightened just a little.

Chapter 2: What does 'as you are' actually mean?

1. Leave unpleasant emotions 'just as they are'

A few days after closing my MacBook and offering Churu to Senior Cat in the middle of the night, I followed the teachings from that night and reduced my time on social media just a little.

However, my overly serious brain was generating new 'fuzziness.' On a Saturday afternoon, while looking up at Senior Cat gracefully grooming his fur at the top of the cat tower, I finally blurted out the question.

'Hey, Senior Cat. You told me before to 'stop trying to grow,' and that night I definitely felt more relaxed. But... honestly, is it really okay to just stay like this?'

Senior Cat twitched his ears, stopped grooming, and looked down at me with a sharp gaze.

'What is it, you? Is the back of your brain itching again?'

'Because, 'accepting yourself as you are' sounds nice, but doesn't that just mean 'staying as the useless person I am now, without trying at all, and lazing around sleeping forever'? If I do that, I feel like I'll just become a 'degenerate slacker' and my life will truly be over.'

Yes, this was my greatest fear. If I used 'as I am' as a convenient excuse to give up on effort, wouldn't I just become a 'useless person who can't move'?

Senior Cat let out a deep sigh and jumped off the cat tower without a sound. Then, he walked right in front of me and snorted in exasperation.

'Are you an idiot? You're a genius at running from one extreme to the other. If you stop trying, are you going to sleep forever next? Do you only have two choices, zero or a hundred? Don't lump me in with those fluffy poems in self-help books that say 'being yourself is wonderful~♪.' What I mean by 'accepting yourself as you are' isn't some sweet escapism like that. It's more rigorous science and cutting-edge psychotherapy.'

Senior Cat jumped onto the kotatsu and tapped my notebook with his front paw again.

'What do you think is the opposite of 'as you are'?'

'Huh? 'Pretending to be someone else'?'

'Wrong. In psychological terms, that's [experiential avoidance]. It's trying to control, or resisting by trying to make non-existent, the unpleasant emotions and flaws within you, like 'anxiety,' 'impatience,' and 'feelings of incompetence.'

Senior Cat pointed to the trash can in the corner of my room.

'You are desperately trying to hide the useless parts of yourself, like 'I can't speak English' or 'I'm slow at work,' like trash in a room, or trying to paint over them with forced positive effort. But the more you resist, the more those unpleasant emotions grow inside your brain. The latest psychotherapy to treat this is ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy).'

"ACT...?"

"Right. The 'acceptance' that lies at the root of ACT isn't about forcing yourself to love your flaws by saying, 'This is fine!' It's about taking the fact that 'Oh, I'm feeling impatient right now' or 'I feel inferior because I'm not good at English' and simply leaving it there as mere data."

Cat Mentor placed a nearby eraser in front of me with a tap.

"For example, let's say this eraser is your 'flaw.' Until now, you've been desperate to get this eraser out of your sight, pushing it to the back of your desk or covering it with a textbook. While you're doing that, you're constantly thinking about the eraser and can't focus on your work, right?"

"True... The more I try to hide it, the more my attention goes to my own shortcomings."

"Exactly, right? So, acceptance is just the stance of 'leaving the eraser at the edge of the desk.' It's saying, 'Oh, there's an eraser (a flaw) here. Well, it is what it is. I'll leave it be and get on with what I want to do.' Stop fighting your flaws. This is the first step toward scientific 'acceptance.'"

2. The Science of Treating Yourself Like a 'Best Friend'

"Stop... fighting..."

It was true that my mental state was most drained when I viewed my flaws as enemies and thought, 'I have to crush them!'

"To tell you the truth, the brain's default setting is a 'scaredy-cat.' Feeling anxious isn't because of your personality, but seems to be a bug in the brain called 'negativity bias' meant to increase survival probability. So, it's natural for unpleasant emotions to arise."

"Ho, you've been studying well, haven't you?" Cat Mentor said, narrowing his eyes.

"But Mentor, if I just leave my flaws as they are, won't my motivation drop and I'll stop growing...?"

"It's actually the opposite. The human brain is designed to perform significantly better when you treat yourself with care rather than berating yourself. This is where 'self-compassion,' proposed by a psychologist named Kristin Neff, comes in."

Cat Mentor suddenly stared at me with his round, bead-like eyes.

"Tell me, if your best friend made a huge mistake at work and came crying to you in the middle of the night saying, 'I'm useless, I have no market value,' what would you say to them?"

"Huh? ...Well, I'd say, 'That's not true, you were working hard until late every day. This time it was just bad luck. Let's take a break and think about the next step later.'"

"Exactly, right? You wouldn't make the mistake of saying, 'You really are incompetent! Get a data analysis certification right now without sleeping, you loser!' If someone said that, they wouldn't be a best friend, they'd just be a psychopath."

"Of course. I couldn't say something so terrible."

"And yet, you've been bombarding yourself with those psychopath's words 24 hours a day."

I gasped at Cat Mentor's words.

That's right. Every time I failed, every time I felt anxious, I kept berating myself inside, saying, "You're useless," "Do more," "You're going to be left behind." I was casually hurling cruel words at myself that I would never say to my best friend.

"Self-compassion is the technique of treating your own failures and weaknesses with the same kindness you would show a dear friend. This might look like 'spoiling yourself,' right? But it's proven by a vast amount of experimental data. People who blame themselves become afraid of failure and can't take on new challenges. Conversely, people with high self-compassion recover from failure faster, and as a result, their motivation and ability to take action increase."

3. The Decisive Difference Between a Lazy Person and "Self-Acceptance"

"I see..."

I was deeply convinced, and at the same time, I threw the question I wanted to know most at him once again.

"Then, Senior Cat. What is the difference between just being a 'lazy person' and 'scientific self-acceptance' after all?"

Senior Cat climbed down from the kotatsu, rubbed against my feet, and puffed out his chest proudly.

State Inner Mind Behavior Characteristics Just a Lazy PersonParalyzed by anxiety and guilt, paralyzing actions to escape unpleasant feelingsScientific Self-AcceptanceAcknowledging that there are flaws, using energy for actions one truly desires while holding onto unpleasant feelings

"It's simple. A lazy person is in a state of 'paralyzing their actions to escape unpleasant feelings.' When you're mindlessly scrolling on your phone or lying around to escape reality, your heart remains muddled with 'anxiety' and 'guilt.' On the other hand, scientific self-acceptance (acceptance) is a state of 'acknowledging that there are unpleasant feelings (the eraser) and using your energy for the actions you truly desire.'"

Senior Cat looked up at my face.

"Do you want to get an English qualification? Or are you just trying to study because you 'don't want to be thought of as incompetent'?"

"The latter... I guess. Honestly, I don't really want to do English. I just wanted to feel secure."

"Then, stop that 'fake effort to feel secure' right now. Instead, first, embrace yourself by saying, 'Ah, I'm feeling anxious compared to those around me right now,' and take a warm bath or something. When your heart is truly satisfied, humans are built to start moving on their own toward what they want to do, even if they're told to just sleep."

I placed my hand on my chest. The eraser of "anxiety" was definitely still there. But feeling that I didn't have to desperately try to erase it, I felt my heart become surprisingly calm.

"Senior Cat. Today, I'm not going to study for my qualification, I'm going to read the novel I've been wanting to read for a long time."

"Oh, that's great. That is proof that you have taken back the initiative of your life from 'anxiety'."

Chapter 3: The Paradox of Motivation

1. When you discard "Should," you start moving on your own

"Oh no, at this rate, the bankruptcy of Churu will really come first..."

Sunday. Lying on the living room floor, with an empty Churu bag in front of him, Senior Cat muttered with a plausible look on his face.

Ever since I accepted that 'eraser for anxiety,' my heart had been surprisingly calm. I stopped forcing myself to cram for certifications on weekends and instead increased the time I spent taking care of myself, like reading books or taking long, relaxing baths.

However, after a few days, a new 'black mist' began to rise in the back of my mind.

'Hey, Cat Senior. Since I started taking care of myself, my body and mind have definitely become more relaxed. But... honestly, I'm terrified.'

'What are you scared of? My churu consumption?'

'No. I'm afraid that if I keep indulging myself by saying 'I don't have to try so hard,' I'll really end up in my 40s or 50s without having done anything at all. Humans need a certain amount of 'sense of duty' or 'sense of crisis' to avoid just drifting through life, right? If I stop making growth my goal, I feel like my motivation will completely disappear.'

Yes, this was the final and deepest curse remaining within me. It was the fear that if I stopped whipping myself with the 'Should' lash, the very engine that drives me would be lost.

Cat Senior, still lying on the floor, tilted his head toward me and gave a fearless, sly grin.

'You really underestimate the human brain. Listen, when humans are driven by a sense of 'Should,' their brains are at their most exhausted and their performance is at its lowest. Conversely, the moment you stop making growth your goal, the strongest switch for the 'pure curiosity (Want)' that humans naturally possess is flipped. This is the [Motivation Paradox].'

2. Humans only stick with what they 'want' to do

Cat Senior stood up, trotted over to my feet, and tapped my knee with his front paw.

'Hey, you. When you see me begging for churu every day or sprinting up the cat tower with all my might, do you think I'm doing it to 'increase my market value'?'

'No, no matter how I look at it, it's because you 'want to eat now' or 'want to move now,' right?'

'Exactly. I don't have even a millimeter of a sense of duty that says, 'If I don't grow as a cat, I'm a failure.' I just move because I 'want' to. It's not an extrinsic motive, but energy welling up from within. There is something called 'Self-Determination Theory' proposed by psychologists Edward Deci and Richard Ryan.'

Cat Senior quickly drew three circles on the notebook I was holding.

'According to this theory, there is a 'quality' to human motivation. The motive you've had until now—'because I'll be left behind by others (Should)'—is the lowest quality 'extrinsic motivation.' An engine driven by duty and fear has terrible fuel efficiency, and the brain quickly overheats and burns out. Conversely, the highest quality and strongest engine is 'intrinsic motivation'—in other words, the pure curiosity of 'I don't know why, but I just can't help wanting to do this (Want).'

'But I don't have anything I 'want to do' right now. I'm chased by work every day, and my desire to do things has completely dried up.'

'It hasn't dried up. Your brain's energy is just 'empty' because of all those 'Shoulds.' In Self-Determination Theory, it's said that humans are born with the following 'three needs.'

'Until now, because of social media, you've had your 'autonomy (freedom to decide for yourself)' stolen and have been threatened with 'you're no good (denial of competence).' That's why your engine stopped. If you first stop trying so hard and let your brain's energy recover, the human brain is built to [start moving on its own to satisfy these three needs]. Don't worry, you won't become a vegetable.'

3. The moment you forget about 'growth', you achieve the best results

'It starts moving... on its own?'

I couldn't believe it at first. But it was true; in the few days since I let go of 'Should', 'reading books', which had been such a chore, was going surprisingly smoothly. The time I spent turning pages not for a qualification, but simply because 'it's interesting', was purely enjoyable.

'You still look like you don't believe me. Well then, let me teach you another special magic word. There is a psychologist named Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, whose name is incredibly hard to pronounce. What he discovered is 'Flow Theory', which is now common knowledge in the worlds of business and sports. Haven't you ever had an experience in your life where you were so absorbed in something that you forgot about time, and when you realized it, it was already evening?'

'I have. Like when I was a child and was absorbed in building plastic models, or more recently, when I happened to be in the zone while working on a document I'm good at...'

'That's it! That state of being completely immersed in the moment is called [Flow (the zone)]. According to Csikszentmihalyi's research, humans feel the most happiness and achieve the highest results when they are in this flow state. And do you know what the biggest condition for entering flow is?'

Senior Cat stared intently into my eyes.

'It is, 'when you have completely forgotten about results and growth'.'

'Huh...? When you've forgotten about growth?'

'That's right. As long as impurities (Should) like 'Will I be evaluated if I do this?' or 'Can I grow from this?' are in your head, your brain will have extra noise and you won't be able to enter flow. When you completely let go of the attachment to growth or future results, and think, 'I'm doing this because it's interesting right now', humans demonstrate their highest performance. In other words, if you want to grow, the shortest path is to stop thinking, 'I have to grow'. This is called the [Flow Paradox].'

Senior Cat's words sank in deeply.

When I had been desperate to 'grow' until now, my gaze was always directed at 'the perfect version of myself in the unseen future'. That's why I didn't have even a millimeter of room to enjoy the task right in front of me. Because I couldn't enjoy it, I couldn't keep it up. Because I couldn't keep it up, I blamed myself again. I had fallen into such a vicious cycle.

'...I see. I had the order completely wrong, didn't I?'

'That's right. If you stop beating yourself up with a sense of duty and your heart is filled with 'peace of mind', your brain will naturally start searching for, 'Is there anything interesting to do next?'. That is the strongest and most flexible motivation that humans naturally possess.'

I closed my notebook and let out a deep breath. 'Stopping trying so hard' does not mean giving up on life and stagnating. Rather, it is a sacred 'reset' to regain control of my own engine, which had been hijacked by others.

At that moment, my gaze landed on the acoustic guitar that had been gathering dust in the corner of the room.

When I was a college student, it was a guitar I played with such passion that my fingers would bleed, just because it was fun. After I started working, I had shoved it into the back of the closet, thinking, 'Doing something like this won't earn me a single cent.'

'...Hey, Senior Cat. Can I try playing that guitar for the first time in a while? It has absolutely nothing to do with improving my skills, though.'

Senior Cat, as if he had been waiting for this, twitched his whiskers and purred.

'That's great! That's it, that's it. That feeling of 'it won't earn me a cent, but I just want to do it' is the sound of your intrinsic motivation (Want) being born. Why don't you try composing a song to demand my Churu and show me you can enter a state of supreme flow?'

“Haha, what’s that? Well, I’m not very good at it, but listen anyway.”

I stood up and, for the first time in a while, unzipped my guitar case. Not out of anxiety for the future, but to enjoy this very moment. The engine of my new motivation began to turn, quietly but surely.

Chapter 4: Connecting with Others While Remaining Imperfect

1. The Courage to Take Off the Armor of Perfection

“Phew, human relationships are such a troublesome system as always...”

A weekday night. As I collapsed onto the sofa and sighed, Cat Mentor jumped heavily onto my stomach. The solid weight and warmth were comforting.

Since I started valuing my own 'Wants,' my private life has become dramatically more fulfilling. However, once I step outside and enter the organization called a 'company,' my old way of thinking inevitably rears its head.

“Hey, Cat Mentor. I’ve managed to learn how to accept my own flaws (self-acceptance) within the confines of my own room. But when it comes to workplace relationships, it just doesn’t work that way. If I show my weaknesses or reveal my imperfections at work, I’ll be left behind by the talented people around me. I’m afraid of being thought of as 'useless,' being disliked, and losing my place. To survive in society, don’t I have to aim for perfection and keep up a strong front to connect with others?”

I recalled the talented figures of my colleagues and the sharp gazes of my superiors, and I shrank back. Being 'imperfect' within an organization seemed far too risky.

Cat Mentor curled up on my stomach, purring, and looked up at my face intently.

“Hey, let me ask you something. Do you like me?”

“Huh? Well, of course I love you.”

“Then, do I have any qualifications that are useful to humans? Do I earn a steady paycheck every month? Do I clean the room? I just sleep all day, eat Churu, and occasionally get scolded for sharpening my claws on the wall. I’m just a ball of fur full of flaws. Why can you love someone like me?”

“That’s... well, partly because you’re a cat, but also because you’re not perfect. You’re a bit scatterbrained, selfish, and yet you snuggle up to me like this sometimes, which is why you’re so lovable, isn’t it?”

“Exactly.”

Cat Mentor puffed out his whiskers proudly.

“Humans are exactly the same. No one can love a perfect person. It’s precisely because people are flawed that they can love others and connect with them. This 'pretending to be perfect' you’re doing is just building a thick wall between you and others.”

Cat Mentor hopped off my stomach onto the floor and pointed at the notebook with his front paw again.

“There’s a perfect old guy to help you break the curse of 'I don't want to be disliked, I have to be perfect' like you. Alfred Adler. Adler said that the goal for humans to live happily is [Community Feeling]—in other words, 'believing that others are your comrades and feeling that you have a place where you belong.' And what is essential to having that community feeling is 'the courage to be imperfect.' ”

Cat Mentor drew a picture of two people in the notebook and drew a single 'flat line' between them.

"You see, you view the people at your workplace as either 'enemies who judge you' or 'competitors.' That's why you're terrified, thinking, 'I can't let them look down on me' or 'If I'm not perfect, I'll be cast out.' In Adlerian psychology, this is calleda 'vertical relationship.' It's a hierarchy of superior and subordinate. However, having the courage to be imperfect means saying, 'I'm not good at English, and I make mistakes. There's no need to feel inferior; this is the real me,' and accepting your own weaknesses. When you acknowledge your own imperfection, strangely enough, you become able to forgive the flaws of others. You stop seeing the other person as an 'enemy' and start seeing them asa 'horizontal relationship (equal peers)' who is also struggling while being imperfect, just like you."

"Seeing others as peers instead of enemies..."

"Exactly. Because you take off your armor of perfection, the other person will take off theirs, too. What Adler calls 'connecting with peers' isn't about a relationship of posturing. It's about the warm relationship that is born only after you both acknowledge each other's imperfections."

2. The Greatest Contribution: 'Psychological Safety'

"I understand what Adler is saying. But even if an individual's mental state is good, if I show weakness in an actual work setting by saying, 'I can't do this,' won't I just be holding the team back?"

"It's actually the opposite. Modern business science has already proven this. You've heard of 'psychological safety,' a concept proposed by a brilliant scholar named Edmondson, right?"

"Oh, is that the one that became famous through Google's research?"

"That's it. When they investigated the common traits of teams that produce the best results in the world, it had nothing to do with having a great leader or having a team full of elites. The most important thing was 'psychological safety'—in other words, a state where no member is afraid to expose their own weaknesses or failures."

Senior Cat drew a square picture that looked like my office desk.

"Imagine a workplace like yours where you 'have to pretend to be perfect.' If someone makes a mistake, they hide it because they're afraid of being scolded. If they don't understand something, they pretend they do because they're afraid of being seen as incompetent. A team like that is bound to have a massive explosion somewhere, and the project will collapse, right?"

"…You're right. There have been many times where I couldn't ask, 'How do I do this?' and ended up taking it all on myself, only to panic right before the deadline. I'd worry about what others thought, feeling anxious that 'maybe they hate me' just because a reply on LINE or chat was slow, or I'd hold a mental self-reflection meeting thinking 'it's my fault' just because my boss sighed. I guess those were cognitive distortions in my brain—bugs, in other words."

"That's right, things like 'overgeneralization' where you exaggerate the subject, or 'personalization' where you connect all bad events to yourself. Instead of holding onto those bugs and acting tough, how about a team where members can say, 'Sorry, I'm not good at this, can you help me!' or 'Oh, I made a mistake, someone help!'? Information is shared immediately, and everyone covers for each other, so there are overwhelmingly fewer mistakes and productivity increases. In other words, showing weakness (self-disclosure) at work is not holding the team back; it is the greatest contribution you can make to increase the overall productivity of the team."

"Me showing my weakness is a contribution to the team..."

It felt like scales were falling from my eyes. Until now, to prove my worth, I had desperately worn the armor of 'the excellent me' and tried to fight alone. But because of that armor, I had built walls around me, isolated myself, and consequently lowered my work efficiency.

"Senior Cat. Tomorrow when I go to work, I'm going to be honest and ask my colleague, Sato-kun, for advice on that project I've been struggling with alone, saying, 'I'm really not good at this part, could you give me some advice?'"

"Oh, that's great. Sato-kun will find you 100 times more likable and trustworthy when you rely on him by saying 'help me' than when you're pretending to be perfect. Long live imperfection. Learn from cats. We've been 'pros of psychological safety' for 10,000 years, being kept by humans without providing any benefits, just by being imperfectly cute."

"Hahaha, you're right. Looking at you, Senior, makes aiming for perfection seem ridiculous."

I gently stroked Senior Cat's neck. I had a feeling that work from tomorrow would be a little—no, dramatically—easier. I don't have to be a perfect cyborg. Tomorrow, I'll take off that heavy armor and go to work as an imperfect human.

Epilogue: From Today, Let's 'Mark Time' Proudly

1. Descending the Stairs of Growth

Chirp, chirp. I can hear the sparrows singing outside the window. The soft morning light streaming through the gap in the curtains was gently illuminating my room.

Monday morning. Usually, the moment I woke up, my heart would start making an unpleasant sound, thinking, 'Another hellish week is starting,' or 'I have to achieve more this week and catch up with everyone else.'

However, I was different this morning. When I took a slow, deep breath, fresh air filled my chest to an surprising depth.

"Ah... that was a good sleep."

When I got up from the bed, a gray ball of fur was rolling at my feet. Noticing my presence, Senior Cat stretched its front paws with a 'meow' and a big yawn, then looked up at me with sleepy eyes.

"Oh, you're up. I feel like your face today isn't a demon, but just a goofy human face."

"That's mean. But really, my head feels so clear. It feels like I've been sprinting while carrying a heavy load for a very long time."

I headed to the kitchen, brewed my own coffee, and served some delicious cat food into Senior Cat's bowl. While watching Senior Cat's back as it started eating with a pleasant crunching sound, I reflected on the events of the past few days.

Looking back, I had been climbing an endless staircase called 'growth' while coughing up blood. If I looked up, there was some 'perfect someone' overflowing on social media, and I felt discouraged by myself for not being able to catch up. If I opened my smartphone, I was forced to compare myself with others 24/7, driven by a sense of impatience.

I would try to whip myself into action with the 'Should' lash, only to burn out, and to hide my own weaknesses and imperfections, I wore stiff armor even at work and isolated myself.

"Senior Cat."

While wrapping both hands around my coffee mug, I called out.

"What, do you still have something you want to ask me? If it's Churu for the lecture fee, I'll accept it anytime."

"No, I wanted to thank you. You see, I really believed that 'I'm no good as I am. I have to become someone more, or there's no point in living.' But you broke that curse for me."

After finishing the cat food, Senior Cat sat back up and elegantly licked around its mouth.

"I didn't say anything that special. It's just something I picked up from the history of psychology. But, I'm glad you realized it. Humans think that only 'moving forward' step by step is a virtue. But that kind of life is suffocating, isn't it? Listen, from today on, you should just proudly 'mark time' in place."

"Mark time...? You mean not moving forward?"

"That's right. Stop climbing the stairs and firmly stomp your feet right where you are. Say, 'Ah, I'm living right here now,' 'The coffee is delicious,' or 'The cat is fluffy.' Stop sacrificing the present to chase the phantom of a 'future ideal self,' and savor your current self thoroughly. That is the true joy of living."

2. Savoring the warmth that is here, right now

"Savoring my current self, thoroughly..."

I gazed out the window. The blue sky stretched on forever. Whether my market value went up or down, or whether I earned an English certification or not, this world had accepted me from the very beginning. Even if I am not perfect, I have a place where I belong.

“Alright, time to get ready for work. Today, I’ll just be my natural self and talk plenty with my colleagues.”

As I stood up to change into my suit, Senior Cat by the window had already half-closed its eyes and started basking in the sun, looking perfectly content.

“Well, you go ahead and take it easy at work. I’m not going to move an inch today, just going to bask in the sun here. I might not be moving forward, but my heart is full, you see.”

Senior Cat purred happily and began to breathe softly in its sleep.

“You really are a carefree cat.”

I gave a bitter smile, but with heartfelt affection, I gently stroked its round head just once.

I left the room and opened the front door. The air outside was a little cold, but a warm light was lit in my chest. This concludes the psychology cat’s lecture for me, who had grown tired of trying so hard.

Now, from here on out, I will walk this 'life as it is' on my own two feet, at my own pace. My steps, now that I had stopped trying to climb the ladder, were surprisingly light.

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