#118 Behaviors of a man who is cheating or having an affair

He changed his cologne. He keeps his phone face down. He comes home late.

These are common signs of cheating.

Let me, the cynical penguin, have my say.

If all men were that obvious, affairs in this world would have gone extinct long ago.

And let me tell you an even more inconvenient truth.

It's true that he's drinking with people from work. The location is also mostly true. He just cuts out the part where he meets a woman afterward.

It's not a 100% lie, but rather 70% truth. That's why you get deceived, thinking, 'Well, he was definitely drinking with his colleagues.'

Cheating doesn't show up in actions. It shows up in the 'distribution' of time, explanations, kindness, and how he gets angry. I will teach you six of these changes.

1st place: His explanation of plans is 'detailed yet vague'

A cheating man doesn't hide his plans. In fact, he talks about them a lot.

'Company drinking party. So-and-so is coming too. Probably 10 PM.'

It looks thorough. But it has a characteristic.

The parts you didn't ask about are detailed, but the parts you want to confirm are vague.

'Who with?' -> He gives a name. 'Which restaurant?' -> 'Still deciding.' 'What time will it end?' -> 'Depends on how things go.'

Creating facts from scratch is scary. So he tells the truth and just leaves out the part that would be most problematic. This is how an affair is constructed.

2nd place: He doesn't hide his phone. He keeps it in a 'showable state'

Cheating men in the past used to take their phones into the bath. Cheating men today place them boldly on the table.

Notifications off, chat history hidden, names changed, separate apps. It's because the processing is already done.

One married man registered his affair partner as 'Takashi,' a male name. A notification comes in front of his wife: 'Takashi: What are we doing tomorrow?' The wife doesn't suspect a thing.

The moment you feel relieved that "he doesn't hide his smartphone anymore" might actually be a sign that he has finished covering his tracks.

What you should look at is not the orientation of his phone, but the habits in his schedule. He is unreachable at specific times. His attitude changes right after he touches his phone. That is where it shows.

3rd place: He suddenly becomes critical of you

"Did you gain weight lately?" "Why don't you wear more feminine clothes?" "Talking to you is exhausting."

The sudden point-deduction begins. Has his love cooled? Half of it is wrong.

In the mind of a man who has another woman, an unconscious comparison is running. And the conditions are unfair.

A wife talking about household expenses vs. a woman saying "I missed you." A tired, natural face at home vs. a face made up for a date.

The latter is bound to win. But the man doesn't realize his comparison is unfair, and he retroactively justifies it by saying, "Lately, my wife and I don't get along."

This is the point I want you to realize.

He didn't cheat because the relationship went bad. He started noticing your flaws because he cheated. The order is reversed.

4th place: He becomes unnaturally kind

This is more troublesome than a man who becomes cold.

Sudden cakes. Sudden help with chores. A sudden "Thanks for everything."

The true nature of this isbalancing the books of guilt.

One man bought convenience store sweets for his wife every time he came home from meeting his mistress. The wife would smile and say, "You've been so kind lately." The man would feel guilty at that smile, and meet the woman again the following week. Humans are perfectly capable of living with contradictions.

Men who cheat while wanting to keep their family exist commonly. Therefore, the idea that "he's fine because he's been kind lately" does not hold up.

There is one point you should check.Are his unprovoked kindness and unprovoked absences increasing at the same time?

5th place: When you ask a question, you get "anger" instead of an "answer"

"What time did you get home yesterday?"

If he's innocent, it ends with "Around 1 o'clock." If he's guilty, it goes like this.

"Why?" "Do you have to ask about every little thing?" "Don't you trust me?"

Then, saying things like "It turns me off when you doubt me" or "That's why I don't want to come home," he turns the fact-checking into a trial where "you are the bad one for doubting him."

The worst mistake you can make is to apologize at this point. "I'm sorry, it's not that I'm doubting you..."

Men learn. If they get angry, the questions stop. Next time, they will get even angrier.

An innocent man will also get angry if he is doubted. Therefore, anger does not equal guilt. However, you should be wary of a man who never answers questions that could be answered in five seconds, but instead starts criticizing your personality.

6th place: An increase in "unexplained gaps" in his daily life

The evidence of an affair is not lipstick or a receipt. It is time.

He is slow to reply only on Wednesdays. He can't take calls only on nights when he's on a business trip. The time he gets home from working on holidays is always different.

Each one can be explained. Work, drinking parties, dead battery.

But when you line them up, he becomes a different person only on specific days of the week and at specific times.

An affair is not an event, it is a habit. Habits show patterns.

What you should be tracking is not one suspicious night. It is a month.

A man can craft a perfect lie for one day. He cannot naturally keep up the same lie every week.

Conclusion: Don't become a detective. Draw a line.

• Do not jump to conclusions based on one feeling of unease. Look at whether "multiple changes connect to form a pattern."

• "You're cheating, aren't you!" is the worst move. The guiltier the man, the more he will erase evidence and prepare for next time.

• What you should present is not emotion, but the facts of the changes. "I can't reach you only on Wednesday nights," "You started getting angry when I ask about your schedule," "I cannot continue in this state."

And the most important thing.

Do not think that you cannot break up unless you can prove the affair. This is not a court of law.

Whether or not to continue a relationship where you cannot feel secure is something you can decide, not evidence.

The sharp-tongued penguin says.

A cheating man will always slip up. However, it is not lipstick or perfume.

The time, explanations, kindness, and way of getting angry that he used to direct at you. That 'allocation' changes.

It is not that a woman's intuition is correct.

A woman is properly observing the contradictions that were not there until yesterday.