If someday you find this record
Recently, I left behind an article I wrote about my second son.
It is a story about how I was saved during your hospital stay when you were little.
Perhaps, there might come a day when you read it.
For that time, there is one more thing I want to leave behind.
I chose your name.
My eldest son's name was almost entirely thought up by my husband.
It was a name he had wanted to give since before the child was born, and it even includes one of my husband's characters.
Of course, I liked it too.
But for my second son, for some reason, I had this feeling inside me:
I want to decide.
That feeling was there.
I think it was because I felt he might be my last child.
That is why I entrusted one of my characters to you.
Strangely enough, your face also looks a lot like mine.
I have been told that since you were small.
And I feel your personality is a bit similar, too.
Even though you are only two years old (laughs).
You are charming.
You can adapt to others.
But you are stubborn.
More stubborn than I thought (lol)
Watching you like that,
sometimes makes me feel like I'm looking at my younger self.
Of course, I don't know what kind of adult you will become.
Your personality might even change.
But if in the future,
you struggle with how to interact with others,
or try too hard,
or conform too much to those around you,
if things like that happen,
I want you to remember that your mother was a person who struggled with similar things.
I have always,
felt I had to do things properly.
Felt I had to work hard.
Felt I had to live up to expectations.
That is how I have lived my life.
But as I have grown older,
I have learned that,
stopping to take a break is just as important as working hard.
And so is relying on others.
Even complaining sometimes.
Thinking it's okay not to be perfect.
I've learned these things little by little.
So, if in the future,
you are struggling with something,
I don't want you to think that
your mother was someone who had it all figured out from the start.
I was often lost,
I made mistakes,
and I still worry even now.
I was just a human being like that.
But you know,
there is one thing I am certain of.
I have never once regretted that you were born.
And,
more than you realize,
you have helped me.
If, when you find this record,
you think, 'Oh, so my mother was like that too (haha)',
I would be happy.
That alone is enough.
Because by then, I am sure,
both you and I will be doing our best in our own lives.
I entrusted one character of my name to yours.
But in truth,
you don't have to be me.
You don't have to surpass me.
You are fine just the way you are.
Please, never forget that.❤️
Thank you so much for being born.
Being able to meet you as your mother
is my greatest happiness.
You are my lifelong treasure.☺️