◇Whether the 'Three-Year-Old Myth' Exists or Not◇

Are you familiar with the 'Three-Year-Old Myth'?
This refers to the idea that
'a mother should raise her child until they are three years old,'
which still remains deeply rooted today.
In households with small children, especially those before school age,
Japan is said to have the highest percentage of people in the world who believe
that mothers should focus exclusively on child-rearing.

I have been a full-time employee since before my children were born and still am today.
I have experienced maternity leave, childcare leave, and reduced working hours twice.
When I took these, I was almost the first in my department.
Moreover, my boss at the time was the type who
firmly believed in the 'Three-Year-Old Myth'.
Well... all sorts of things happened (bitter laugh).

I don't intend to share my struggles from that time in this article.
(If I started talking about that, I could probably write a whole book (lol))
Here, I would like to share a little bit about the pros and cons
of a mother leaving her child at a nursery school or similar facility
to go to work, based on my own experience.
My perspective is on mothers and children; I'm sorry, but
I don't know about the father's side (lol).

With that said, if those who read this
find it even a little helpful,
I would be very grateful, and
I hope that whoever you are, whatever choice you make, and however you proceed,
you will be happy✨.

Nursery Room, in My Case

My children were quite curious.
My eldest son in particular started talking early and loved people at the time.
I intuitively felt that
daily stimulation from just his mother would soon not be enough for him,
so I also had him attend baby swimming and kids' dance classes.

When both my eldest and second sons were around a year and a half old,
I enrolled them in an in-company nursery room when I returned to work.
The scale of the nursery room itself was small,
but since it was a food company, they were active in food education,
actually planting and growing vegetables,
and cooking using the harvested vegetables,
so my children, who originally didn't eat green vegetables,
started eating them heartily.
(Even though there is an in-company nursery room,
what's up with the boss promoting the Three-Year-Old Myth?)

During the nursery room days, I essentially commuted with my children.
After dropping them off, I would enter the company building right in front.
I didn't go to the nursery room during work hours.
I was invited to events,
but if we met, both the children and I would get homesick,
so I kept this separate.
However, being on the same premises and close by,
if they had a fever, I could go pick them up immediately,
and I was grateful for that point.

When I got home, I would chat with the children as much as possible.
I would ask the children about what happened today
while looking at the contact notebook.
By doing so, even though we spent a lot of time apart,
I made sure we could share the same events.
Learning their friends' names was a golden rule.
We would play together in the bath and chat a little in bed.
I was thinking about how to spend time as intensely as possible
while engaging in skinship.

Pros

If your child is curious and the type who wants to
be interested in various things and absorb them,
I recommend connecting them to the outside world
sooner rather than later.
I think the biggest point is that they grow
through relationships with others besides family.
Having mom nearby might be a safe zone,
but sometimes mom might end up doing things for them in advance.
It is said that many children learn to 'do it themselves'
by being exposed to multiple children and adults at the nursery.
Without a doubt, it is more stimulating than being at home.

Also, in reality, because we were apart during the day,
as a mother, I also wanted to cling to my children (lol).
If anything, I was the one who wanted to be spoiled by my children.
The time spent together is naturally shorter,
but I think I was able to enjoy
a more dense time together.

Cons

Well, of course, the time spent with the children is short.
A child's growth is truly in an instant.
Since you are intentionally shortening such
sparkling, treasure-like time,
honestly,
there are times when I think, 'What a waste.'

For example, the first time a child successfully uses chopsticks
might be at lunch at the nursery, not at home.
It is not rare to learn about
rare moments through the contact notebook.

Also, what is important is the compatibility with the nursery teachers.
It's great if the compatibility is good, but
they are human, so there are times when it feels a bit subtle...
Even if you think it doesn't quite fit,
since you are entrusting your own child,
there are cases where it is hard for us to speak up strongly.

When a child gets sick, this is a point of concern.
When the phone rings with a request to pick them up due to a sudden fever,
I hurriedly finish my work and, while apologizing to those around me,
leave the company.
Naturally, I am worried about the child,
so I rush to take them to the pediatrician.
I take care of the child at night, and depending on their condition the next morning,
various adjustments arise again...
Working means responsibility also arises.
The responsibility of child-rearing and the responsibility to the company.
As a mother, it really takes a toll on my mental health.

Important Things

Based on my experience, I have introduced
the pros and cons of going to work
while children are small.
Of course, there are things that apply and
things that don't apply depending on the family,
but there are things more important than that.
When thinking about child-rearing and work, I hope you will
think thoroughly with the following perspectives in mind.

If your child is still small,
you will have to judge based only on the items above,
but as they grow, your child's characteristics will also emerge.
At that time, perhaps,
the need to change direction might also arise.
Adaptability and flexible response.
While always keeping that in mind,
I hope those who are expecting pregnancy and childbirth
will consider what style to spend the time when the child is small.

Whether you leave your child at daycare to go to work,
or spend time with your child at home,
both are truly precious,
mom, they are your own time.
And, it is also your child's time
to share time intensely with their mother.
No matter what the world says,
whether the 'Myth of the Three-Year-Old' exists or not,
I believe that you can create happy times
in your own style.

Finally, I would like to share
the words my homeroom teacher said when I was in my second and third year of high school...

The teacher's own wife was also a teacher,
and they were a dual-income household.
Back then, dual-income households were still rare.
It was something he told us high school students
based on his own experience.
When I heard it, it didn't resonate with me at all.
However, now that my eldest son has finally reached adulthood,
'Ah, so that's what it meant,'
I have been able to fully understand and accept it.

Changing how you engage with your children
is something parents should keep in mind as their children grow.
If you can do that, I am sure
you will be able to spend good time together as parent and child.
I believe you can spend time
carefully sharing the same memories.

I hope this is of some help to you.♬