My Eldest Son's Entrance Ceremony

Sensitive

Suits, shoes, a backpack...
I need to get everything ready for him to become a university student.
And a laptop too!?
Apparently, university students these days carry laptops around.
It seems they almost never
handwrite notes on loose-leaf paper anymore.💦

Communication with new students is also done via LINE.
Course registration is done through a portal site.
It's completely different from when I was a student (well, I suppose that's expected).

My eldest son's university entrance ceremony.
I had no intention of going at all (am I cold-hearted!?), but
a letter arrived saying,
"There will be department-specific orientations after the ceremony,
so parents are also invited to attend."
I have no choice, I guess I'll go.

The ticket to university that my eldest son managed to grab.
It was always down to the wire, nerve-wracking.
He failed the early round, got waitlisted in the mid-term round,
and his acceptance was decided the day before graduation.
What a dramatic turn of events.

My eldest son had been enjoying his spring break without a care in the world, but
he fell into an unstable state again the day before the entrance ceremony.
Over a minor computer (at home) issue,
he kept repeating,
"It's over," "This is the worst," "It's absolutely impossible."

I can understand why he'd be sensitive.
But still, I can't help but think about the "power of words," or
the effect that what comes out of one's own mouth has on oneself.
If you keep thinking and saying bad things,
there's no way good things will happen,

and it is through action that good fortune arrives.You're the one who taught me that, aren't you?

I ended up snapping at him the night before the entrance ceremony.
I know.
This is a dimension of life where I no longer need to be involved.
He should be the one to open up various doors for himself,
and he should have enough strength stored up to do so.

So I will watch over him.
I just need to watch over him in the true sense of the word.
I reflected on my own behavior and faced the actual entrance ceremony the next day.

When I talked to my eldest son a little the next day, he said...

Well, I can understand his point of view too.
Let's call it a truce here.

My eldest son, awakening

I didn't realize so many parents would come to the entrance ceremony.
Maybe it's because we were invited to the department orientation after the ceremony.

The department orientation ended, and we left the school building.
There were so many club and circle recruitment drives!
My eldest son, while saying he felt some fear,
seemed to want to do various things at university.
However, he said he wasn't confident he could handle everything,
so he said he would start off slowly at first.

To gather as much information as possible,
he walked in front of the rows of recruitment booths,
took many of the flyers being handed out,
and even listened to the seniors who were recruiting.
He even seemed to be talking to them.
I watched from a little distance, and I could see him smiling.
He can actually talk to people just fine.

Then, I heard a sound from afar.
"The Light Music Club is starting their live performance!"
Oh? What's this!?
My eldest son definitely wants to do either sports or music.
"Can I watch the live performance?"
Of course, that's fine.

We moved closer to the stage.
My eldest son stopped a little further back.
Huh? If you're going to a live show, you have to be in the front, right!?
I went charging to the front first (lol).
My eldest son followed me, looking flustered.

The performance began.
The female vocalist sang while playing guitar.
The bass player was also incredibly good!!
What was that lead guitarist?
It's crazy that they're around 20 years old.
And the drums.
Very precise, calm, and excellent!

If I hadn't been spotted as a parent, if I hadn't been wearing a skirt,
pumps, and a corsage,
I would have been jumping around (lol) (*I was a former drummer, after all😅).
I hadn't been to a live show since my children were born.
It had been a while, and live music is truly the best!!
As I was soaking it all in, I suddenly looked at my eldest son next to me.

He had an expression I'd never seen before.
Truly, a picture-perfect sparkle—no, if anything,
his eyes were wide open and intense.Even with his mask on, it was leaking out.
It was clear that even while trying to suppress his great excitement,
he was being moved by it.
When the performance ended, my eldest son repeated over and over,

"That was incredibly cool!"
"I was totally blown away!"
...And then, as my eldest son passed in front of the Light Music Club booth,

I did something unnecessary again.
"Don't you want to go talk to them?"

But this time, my eldest son honestly said,
"Okay. I'll go for a bit!"
and turned on his heel.

He went up to the seniors in the Light Music Club
and started talking to them himself, saying,
"That was incredibly cool!"
I hadn't seen him like this in a long time...

The experience of immediately outputting the excitement you've gained,
and conveying it to the other person,
is extremely important.
Seeing my eldest son do that naturally on his first day,
I felt relieved, thinking, "He'll be fine."
In that sense,
maybe it was good that I came along to the entrance ceremony.

I want him to choose various things for himself.
I want him to gain various experiences.

So that he never has to say
"I wasted six years" ever again,
I hope that his future studies and university life
will be valuable and fulfilling for him...✨