🌱 What it means to 'watch over' a child who refuses to go to school

When children become unable to go to school,
it is often said that
'parents should watch over them.'

However, even when told that,
it is an unexpected emergency for parents.

'Is it really okay to just watch over them? Should I do nothing?'
You feel anxious, don't you?

This word 'watching over'.

Actually, there might be a gap in how it is perceived is what
I think.

Even when told to 'watch over' them...

Children who are so hurt and exhausted that they cannot go to school
cannot easily show what is inside their hearts.

They blame themselves for not being able to go to school,
and often stubbornly hide their own weaknesses,
don't they?

Seeing such children, parents worry about what they should do.

Even though they are your own children,
you might sometimes feel like you are walking on eggshells.

After some time has passed since they stopped going to school,
children begin to spend their time relaxing at home.

And after a while,
they start spending more time on games and videos.

Also, they might be so unwell in the morning that they cannot move,
but start to feel better from the afternoon into the night.

But they don't study at all...

When you see such behavior every day,
even parents who were initially filled with worry
'They just play around without going to school!'
start to feel impatient and frustrated 😢

When parents are holding onto feelings of dissatisfaction,
being told 'Let's watch over them!'
can be especially unsettling, can't it...

However, regarding 'watching over' during this period,
I believe it does not simply mean letting the children do as they please.

Strictly speaking,
it is fine to let children do as they please, but
I think it does not mean that parents should take no action.

Actually, during the 'watching over' period,
parents need to firmly observe and understand their children without their own preconceptions
.

Let go of preconceptions and accept them as they are

Children cannot easily express the suffering they are carrying.
They cannot express it well.

It is very possible that they have put a lid on their hearts
because they do not want to remember their pain.

The more children are in such a state,
even if parents or teachers say
“You can talk to me about anything,”
there is no way they can explain it.

Parents must not forget that the true meaning behind children
lazing around at home is not as simple as
“I didn't have to go to school, yay!”

Even if they cannot express it well themselves,
small hints are sometimes hidden
in the little things they say and do.

Also, even if you don't find anything on a certain day,
if you look at the whole week, for example,
the movements of their hearts changing slowly
can sometimes be seen through.

I believe that this becomes visible little by little
when parents accept their children's words and actions with pure eyes.

Among children who find it hard to go to school,
there may be some who also carry
feelings of finding it hard to live.

For a parent to 'watch over' a child means
to try to understand the true meaning tucked away deep in their hearts
just as it is.

I will say it again (I've been using this phrase a lot lately 💦),
“watching over” does not mean “doing nothing.”

When children gradually start to change,
show them new things and joys little by little.
However, do not force them.

Andwhen children show interest,
I want to be by their side saying “Shall we try it?”
and give them a gentle push.

May this reach those who need it ✨

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Tomorrow, 8/29 (Thu) from 20:00 to 21:00
we will hold a 'Thank You' Space with Noah-san✨
Our guest this time is'Ichika-san'!
It is a bit early, but
I would be happy if you could stop by.
(Though I am a little worried about the typhoon💦)

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Our co-host, Noah-san,
posts 'School Refusal Essays' on note.
This one is about the killer phrase
'The Should-Person'which was born from our 'Thank You' Space.Please take a look✨

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I also post on X and Instagram.

Kaora X x.com/kaora2314?t=W6P6zq7m-Zm36M4KmFhOIQ&s=09
Kaora Instagram https://t.co/nAdRE4zzpn

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