The Boomerang of Bad-Mouthing

According to rumors, I am quite scary when I lose my temper.
If you ask my children, they say, "Mom is like a yakuza when she snaps."
Well, I can't say I don't understand what they mean.

"Don't you have any sense of gratitude toward others!" or
"What about benevolence!"
I'm the kind of mom who would say things like that to my child when they were still in elementary school.
When they asked, "What's benevolence? Is it... I... Ni...?", I collapsed to my knees.

I wasn't talking about the etymology of kanji.
#WhatAreYouTalkingAbout

There is never any good reason to lose your temper recklessly.

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But you know, even though I do lose my temper (which isn't good!),
I consider myself the type who doesn't really bad-mouth others.

You say, "Maybe you don't bad-mouth because you snap so easily"?
That's not it (probably).
I prefer to find a way to tell the person directly rather than bad-mouthing them behind their back.

Becausewhen I bad-mouth someone, my own mood drops.

It feels like my energy is draining away, as if I've been exposed to bad vibes.
I feel like my 'energy ball' is crumbling and spilling out along with the bad-mouthing.

I quite like this series and have read several of the books.

The fact that even I, who am not good at reading, can read them must be good advertising, I think to myself. (*This is not an ad)

I found a convincing statement in this book.

"Bad-mouthing only lowers your own self-esteem."

Yeah, yeah, I totally get that.
The feeling of my energy ball spilling out was actually my self-esteem dropping, I see, I see.

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People bad-mouth others for various reasons.

There is no doubt that bad-mouthing is something you say while thinking, "The other person is wrong."
But when you write out the reasons like this,the subject is "myself."

The person you are bad-mouthing certainly has their faults.
There are bad people in the world, no matter what.
But that is only because it makes you feel bad, and ultimately it depends onhow you perceive it.

When someone says something sarcastic, some people notice and some don't.
Those who notice feel bad, while those who don't think nothing of it.
If you don't recognize yourself as the target of those words, they won't get stuck in your heart.

If you are someone who writes on note, you probably feel this much more than I do.

Words are vessels of power.

When malice leaves you, it carries with it the dark, murky feelings from the depths of your heart.
It might feel good for a moment because something dark is leaving your body, but it comes right back to you through your ears.

The same applies to writing.
The darkness manifests as text, and you absorb it through your eyes.

When you re-absorb it, the vector of that darkness is pointed at yourself.
After all, you are the one taking it in.
Malice ends up raining down upon your own head.

You might not notice it in that moment.
But if you keep repeating such things, there is no way you can feel comfortable.
Your self-esteem will definitely drop.

It is the same with the people around you.
There is no way they can trust someone who keeps speaking ill of others.
After all, they might worry that one day they will be the ones being talked about.

What you do to others comes back to you.
Why do people forget such an obvious truth?

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Malice has a negative impact on both yourself and those around you.
If you want to improve your environment, it is better to engage in constructive communication rather than speaking ill of others.

It is obvious, but let's try changing ourselves first.
People can change just by being conscious of it.

I want to cherish the power of words.
Because they hold the power to make both yourself and others happy.

If I have the choice, I don't want to be a malice-manufacturing machine that makes both myself and those around me miserable.

I believe that good words hold the heart within them.
I want to write words that are filled with heart, once again.

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