"Which one are you?" Realizing I had unconscious biases about others' perceived gender

When you see a very cute child with long hair and genderless clothing, which gender do you assume they are?

Just the other day at a commercial facility, I encountered a child who was about to enter the men's restroom, and without any ill intent, I naturally said, "This is the men's restroom."
The child, who looked to be in the single digits, muttered, "Eh, men's restroom..." in confusion and stopped.
I tried to gently admonish them, using a voice I intended to sound kind, by asking, "Which one are you?" but
"I'm a boy..."they replied.

Thinking, "Oh no," I apologized and reflected, saying, "Oh, I'm sorry. It's not right for me to say things like that," and left the scene.

We were both smiling the whole time, but
I kept worrying, hoping that the child wasn't hurt.
I was so concerned that I even went back to the area later to see if I might run into them again by chance, but that didn't happen.

Even if I did meet them again, what would be the right thing to say?
That depends entirely on the child.

For that child, being mistaken for a girl might have been something they were happy about, or conversely, something they disliked.
Regardless of which it was, being told such a thing might have just been a nuisance to them.
I don't even know if my words as I left were correct.

I myself incorporate some clothing that doesn't fit the traditional gender norms of my own gender.
People should be free to wear whatever they like regardless of gender, and I have various thoughts about this transitional period where prejudices against that are disappearing—or perhaps are still deeply rooted.
Despite that,I ended up saying such a thing to someone else, and to a small child at that.
(*I didn't mean anything by the clothing itself, but since I don't know how the child took the fact that I judged their gender based on my own assumptions...)
(*It wasn't even a matter of "which one," I just completely saw them as a girl, but even that is something where the right thing to say depends on the other person.)

What I don't want to be misunderstood here is
I am always concerned that new prejudices are being born as concepts like LGBTQ have become more widespread recently, but
just because someone is cross-dressing doesn't necessarily mean they want to be that gender.

For example, I am like that myself, and
works recently adapted into media from manga, such as "Kao ni Doro wo Nuru" (Smearing Mud on My Face) and "Senpai wa Otokonoko" (Senpai is an Otokonoko), have directly depicted the feelings of a person who is nothing special, just"simply wearing those clothes because they like them."

(Also,
even if they were to be categorized as LGBTQ, that is nothing special, just that the person is who they are. The "diversity" that has become so commonly talked about is exactly that—the idea that "no one is special.")

I hope that child continues to freely enjoy the clothes they like... 👚
On the other hand, it's possible they are only wearing those clothes because of their parents' tastes, so it's hard to say for sure.

If I were to meet them again, the only thing I could say is, "I just simply saw you as a girl at that moment. I didn't mean anything bad by it."
I wonder if saying it again would just be unnecessary.

Adding this in case it reaches them somewhere in the sea of the internet,
it happened on October 18, 2024, shortly after 10:30 AM,
in the restroom next to COCO'S on the 3rd floor of Raqual Odasaga near Odakyu-Sagamihara Station.
I feel like I didn't apologize properly, either...
Since it was a place I don't usually go to while I was out on a long trip, it will be difficult to meet again, so I just pray that the child isn't bothered by it.

I'll end this article with an omake (bonus) about my experience at COCO'S 🍴

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