Thank you to my friend who returned

I would like to write about a long-time friend of mine, and how glad I am that I didn't lose her.
My friend, Lisa (a pseudonym), is single and a career woman who has worked as a medical professional for over 30 years.

Lisa owns a condo, where she also had her parents living with her. Her parents once lived a wealthy life, but they misjudged their post-retirement life and ended up having to let go of their own home.

As 10 and 20 years passed, nursing beds for her parents were placed in one of the rooms of Lisa's condo.

She has an older brother, but he already had his own household, so it was agreed that Lisa would take on the care of their parents. And Lisa fulfilled that responsibility until the very end of her parents' lives.

Lisa's brother was also cooperative regarding their parents' hospital visits and financial aspects, so Lisa didn't have to quit her job, and she managed to get through their care using long-term care insurance.

On the other hand, I was a 'career housewife' (lol), balancing child-rearing and caregiving, only working part-time during the calm periods.
So, whenever we wanted to take a breather, we would go to karaoke and talk about how things were going.

Now that we have both seen our parents off, we have a relationship where we eat out, watch movies, go to karaoke, or take hot spring trips together at various milestones.

It goes without saying, but even with long-time friends, everyone has their own life circumstances, so the timing to spend fun time together becomes harder to find.

Furthermore, in reality, there is often an invisible emotional boundary between friends who are single and those who are married without children.

In Lisa's case, perhaps because she had nephews and had experienced watching children grow up close by, she would listen to stories about my children calmly.

Now, she works while training younger colleagues who are even younger than her nephews, and she works with people of a wide range of ages.
She is sensitive to the trends of the world and is a very understanding person.

Though you might think she speaks bluntly, she always chooses words that are considerate of the other person.
I have always been happy that a 'pure young girl' part of her remains.

This has been a long introduction, but... the year before last, this friend of mine
fell victim to an investment scam.
She came to me and asked, 'Could you lend me some money?'

Of course, this was the first time she had ever made such a request. I asked her to tell me the detailed circumstances. And, having accepted my advice, she took the following actions:

・Have a professional lawyer confirm that it is definitely an investment scam.
　(This was done within the free consultation range.)
・Get advice on the prospects of recovering the money and the subsequent process.
　(This was also free.)
・File a damage report with the police.

The year before last, she renovated the old kitchen and other plumbing areas of the condo she owns. Perhaps she was trying to show off a little.

The repayment was not an impossible figure, but it seems that having her monthly loan deducted started to feel restrictive to her.

That was when her eyes were drawn to an investment scam screen, and the chat exchanges with fabricated successful people looked so real that she apparently wanted to take a gamble on it.

It seems she had already received financial help from her brother twice before, but fortunately, the amount was not that large.

In my conversations with her, I know what she owns. So I said to her:

You have always cooperated and gotten along well with your brother's family, so you must not do anything to destroy that relationship again.
I will help with the money you need for living expenses, but I believe that investment is definitely a scam, so if you can prove otherwise, come and tell me again.

Lisa was not in financial trouble.
In fact, I knew she possessed the following things:

・A career that allows her to work even after turning 70

・Her own apartment (although there is a renovation loan,
　　　　　　　　　the property's market value is skyrocketing)
・Two life insurance policies (one of which is foreign currency-denominated, and even if canceled,
　　　　　　　there is no loss due to exchange gains)
・Assets managed in a NISA account

Lisa forgot that she actually had various things and fell victim to a scam.
I told her that if she promised me the following, I would help her when she was truly in trouble.

(Actually, she has more assets than I do... haha)

1. Cancel the foreign currency-denominated insurance and return it to your brother immediately.
2. Consider other losses as the cost of your own education.
And so, Lisa accepted what I said, and we were able to eat together again on her birthday this year. I told her:



Thank you for accepting what I said.Thank you for not going far away.

I could not forget a story I heard from an acquaintance about an investment circle at a university.
It was a story about a college student who ended up drowning in debt, dropped out of university, and then disappeared into the underworld.

Come to think of it, there was a story about a sushi chef I worked for as a part-timer when I was twenty who got involved in gambling and suddenly disappeared.

Also, the inheritance troubles I have seen so far all start from someone's 'anxiety'.

Someone who unilaterally wants to take things for themselves, thinking they won't give anything to that person, or someone who won't honestly say, 'I'm in trouble, please help me'—those are the kinds of people who suddenly start complicating matters.

And I am still seeing a case with another friend where siblings and relatives are at odds, and it seems they will not be able to build a good relationship in the future.

I said to Lisa once more.
Look closely at what you already have, and remember your parents who were never satisfied no matter how much money they had.

The large sums of money that we ordinary people have are limited.
It is foolish to cling to a limited amount of money and destroy a relationship where we can support each other.

If Lisa hadn't accepted it, I would have lost a friend with whom I could freely enjoy this and that.

However, 'anxiety' is something everyone has. You never know what will happen in life. Therefore, I don't think feeling anxious itself is wrong.

It's just that I think it's necessary to think about where that anxiety comes from,
and what needs to happen for that anxiety to disappear,
rather than just looking for a temporary fix.

I have also spoken honestly to Lisa. Even if I have children, they are not my possessions, nor are they servants who will do everything I want.

I've told her that having careless expectations like 'insurance' in that regard is especially dangerous in the coming era (haha).

Think for yourself. Perhaps the fact that I was talking with that intention might have increased Lisa's anxiety.

As a friend, I feel sorry that I didn't notice Lisa's anxiety. But still, for me, Lisa is an irreplaceable friend, and I am grateful that she has returned to being the usual Lisa.