Why do you become a person who is taken advantage of?

“Not again...”

If I were to put her dejected feelings at that moment into words,

“I can never be the number one person for the one I love.”

I think that is what it would be.

This is a story that a student of our business seminar shared during the seminar.

She was a 29-year-old woman.

There was a man she liked.

The messages from him always came at night.

“Can we meet for a bit today?” “I have something I want to talk about.”

No matter how tired she was, she would go to see him.

She even changed her work schedule. She even canceled plans with friends.

If he was in trouble, she wanted to be there for him. That is what she thought.

There were times she paid more for meals. She helped him move. She listened to his worries for hours.

But, there was something strange.

They couldn't meet on her birthday. Plans for holidays were always vague. When the topic of the future came up, he would change the subject.

And then, one day.

She gathered her courage and asked.

“Are we dating?”

Then, he made a slightly troubled face and said,

“I can't think about things like that right now.”

My mind went completely blank.

I did so much for them. I prioritized them so much. Why can't I be their partner?

Her true goal was not just to be in a relationship. She wanted to build a relationship where they could cherish each other. She wanted to be someone they could feel at ease with.

So, we looked for the cause together.

Was she not kind enough? Was her affection insufficient?

That was not it.

In fact, she had been accepting everything the other person wanted.

She didn't want to be disliked. She didn't want them to leave.

That is why she put her own plans and feelings on the back burner.

As a result, from the other person's perspective,

she became "someone I can always rely on."

However,

she did not become

"someone I don't want to lose."

That was the problem.

Japanese people are the same in love. They choose someone they can feel at ease with.

However, that sense of ease does not mean someone who will accept anything you do.

It means someone who can cherish both themselves and their partner. Someone who doesn't push themselves too hard. Someone who has a life of their own.

People feel at ease with someone like that.

Even if you are grateful to someone who goes along with everything, it is hard to imagine an equal relationship with them. That is why you can end up being a convenient person.

The lesson was,

“Those who value themselves are the ones who are chosen.”

It was.

After that, she changed.

To last-minute calls,

“I have plans that day.”

she began to say.

She started to express her own wishes when she wanted to meet. She stopped trying to be liked by pushing herself too hard.

Then, something strange happened.

She naturally drifted apart from the men she knew before.

Instead, a man she met recently began to tell her,

“You always seem to enjoy your own time.”

And with him, she gradually built an equal relationship.

At that moment, she finally understood.

That she didn't need to make herself small in order to be loved.

People feel at ease with those who value themselves. Romantic relationships, too, were operating on the same principle.

This event was accumulated as new improvement know-how in our business seminars.

This event was accumulated as new improvement know-how in our business seminars.