Looking Back on Parenting: Why I Decided to Write This Note

Hello, I'm Kanae.

Nice to meet you.
Thank you for visiting this note.

When you are raising children, there are days when you feel like you don't understand them at all.

“Why do they act like this?”
“How should I take this?”

Sometimes you feel lost like that.

There are days when the same things keep happening no matter how many times you say them,
when your feelings don't reach your child even though you are worried,
or when you regret how you spoke to them later.

However, I believe it is only natural that parenting comes with confusion and worries.

Every day with a newborn is the first year for the parents as well.
Even if you are in your second year as a parent when your child turns one, every day with a one-year-old is a “first” again.

It is the same even when your child turns twenty; facing a child at that age is an experience you have for the first time when you reach that moment.
That is why I think it is very natural to feel worried or lost.

My child is now an adult, married, and cherishing a new life.
Seeing them like that makes me truly happy that they have grown up this far, and I feel happy every day as well.

Looking back on parenting now,
I think, “If there had been words back then that I could have consulted with easily, that could have lightened my heart a little, or that could have provided clues to think from a different perspective, I would have felt much more reassured.”

That is why I started this note, hoping to deliver something that might serve as a hint for perspectives or ways of interacting to mothers who are feeling lost in their parenting journey.

What I want to write about in this note

In this note, I would like to write about the “feelings” and “reasons” behind children's behavior, tailored to everyday situations.

I have been studying psychology since my university days.
When I look at parenting from that perspective, I feel once again that children have their own unique ways of feeling and expressing things.

Children cannot organize their feelings and put them into words like adults can.
Therefore, feelings they cannot express well sometimes come out as “attitudes” or “behaviors.”

When you can see the feelings behind those behaviors a little better, it becomes easier to understand your child's heart and provides clues on how to think about interacting with them.

At the same time, I also want to focus on the mother's feelings.
There are days when you are trying your best but things don't go well, and you blame yourself, wondering if your way of interacting was wrong, aren't there?

In this note, I will share:

• Perspectives for understanding your child

• Ways of perceiving things that make a mother's heart feel a little lighter

• Ways to deepen the bond of trust between parent and child

I would like to write about these things with care.

Finally

What I want to write about here is not the story of a special family.

• Not understanding your child

• The same things continuing no matter how many times you tell them

• Your feelings not getting through even though you are worried

• Ending up speaking too harshly and blaming yourself afterward

While putting into words the worries that exist in such daily life, I will write about things that might change how you see your child a little, or serve as an opportunity to think about how you interact with them.

I would be very happy if this note could become a place you remember when you feel lost.☘️