🧨 Whose standard is 'proper' anyway?

'I have to be proper,' I find myself thinking all the time.

Don't many people spend their days telling themselves exactly that?
But whose standard is that 'proper' anyway?

But think about it.

Who is that 'proper' actually for?

• To avoid getting scolded by someone?

• To avoid being disliked?

• To be praised for 'being proper'?

Doesn't it all seem to be for someone 'other than yourself'?

Even if you actually want to take a break,
even if you actually want to say 'I'm pushing myself too hard',
'I have to be proper' gets in the way and stops you from saying it.

2. Aren't you tired of pretending to be perfect yet?

Even though you think 'I've reached my limit',
you laugh it off and keep trying anyway.

'I'm the only one who can't fall apart'
'Everyone else is working hard, so I should too'
'It's uncool to rely on others'

...Yes, all of that is just an illusion.

Everyone has already noticed.
Just how much you are pushing yourself.

In fact, we're worried about you because you don't even realize you're pushing yourself.

3. Is that 'proper' really 'you'?

If being 'proper' is chipping away at who you are,
then that is nothing more than 'self-destruction'.

• By trying to look perfect, you become afraid of making mistakes

• You are so considerate that just being around people makes you tired

• You take everything on by yourself and forget how to rely on others

How long are you going to keep living days like that?

4. Instead of 'properly,' why not just be 'like me'?

What matters is not 'correctness,' but 'authenticity.'

Don't you find yourself liking people who are a bit scatterbrained,
or people who make silly mistakes,
a little more?

We are not machines. We don't have to function perfectly.

Living 'like me' rather than 'properly' is far more natural and attractive.

In the first place, does a person who lives 'properly' even exist in this world?

5. Conclusion: You are already 'proper' enough

Finally, a slightly serious note.

Behind the words 'I have to be proper,'
there is usually a feeling that 'I am not good enough as I am.'

But.
You are here right now, aren't you?

• Enduring so many things every day,

• being considerate,

• fitting in with those around you,

• and having worked so hard, yet still thinking 'it's not enough.'

No, no, surely you've done more than enough already.

Even if you aren't 'proper,'
you can still be properly loved,
you can still properly rest,
and you can still properly make mistakes.

In fact, people who can show their'not-so-proper' side like that are much cooler.

🌿 For you who want to settle your heart at your own pace
If you read this article and thought,
'My heart feels a little lighter,'
'I want to organize my feelings a bit more,'
why not have a slow, gentle chat with me?

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🕊️ About the author
As a psychological counselor, I aim to create a space where you feel it's okay to talk.
It's okay if you're feeling uneasy, anxious, or can't quite put things into words.

👉 Self-introduction here