[Diabetes | A True Story of Mother and Daughter!] Anger? Stress?! Disappointment?!

Hello.

Today, I'd like to share a little bit about the battle between my daughter and me.
Or maybe it's just me venting (lol).

※Some of the language is a bit harsh, so if you are easily offended, please look away.

🥯 The Baumkuchen Incident One Morning

It happened when I had just woken up and was still lying in bed, feeling dazed.

Daughter: "Mom, Mom."
Mother: "...Morning."

I was still quite groggy.

Daughter: "I don't need breakfast!"
Mother: (Seriously? That makes things easier 🐫)
Daughter: "My husband brought home a Baumkuchen, and we split it and ate it together!"
Mother: ".........! A Baumkuchen?!"

As you know, my daughter has diabetes.

She just got a happy result of 6.3 for her hemoglobin at the hospital this month.
But we can never let our guard down.

Mother: "You... a Baumkuchen?"
Daughter: "It's fine, I only ate half."

It's not a matter of whether it's okay to eat half.
What about the sugar content?!
My anxiety and irritation don't reach my daughter.
I try to explain what kind of person she is by making shapes with my fingers, but in my head, I'm thinking:

Mother: (Don't you realize what that will do?! How terrifying the fluctuations in blood sugar are...)
Knowing the horror of blood sugar spikes, I think about what a foolish thing she's doing, but my daughter is smiling, saying it was delicious as always.

However, my daughter has autism spectrum disorder and depression.
I know that if I throw direct words at her, she will have a panic attack.
Mother: "Oh, I see... well, time to get up..."

Since she's already eaten it, I have to give up.

I just have to adjust with her diabetic diet.
But even though I'm working hard to cook no matter how sluggish I feel,
my daughter's husband brings her things because they're delicious.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

If you call it love, then that's the end of the story.
Anyway, there's no point in getting angry.
However, just as I was pulling myself together and continuing the conversation cheerfully—
Daughter: "Why are you so irritated?!"

Whoa, a sudden preemptive strike!

Mother: "I'm not irritated."

That's right, I'm not irritated at all.

I'm just pulling myself together and talking cheerfully.
But because I usually try to be careful to use a gentle tone,
my cheerful tone seems to sound irritated to my daughter.
Daughter: "You are irritated!"

Mother: "You're the one who's irritated, aren't you?"
At this moment, my daughter's mental state was at its worst.

It wasn't shifting toward depression, but toward high tension.
Daughter: "Mom is irritated!"

All I can think in my heart is (Here we go again...).

And a mutter of (What a pain...).
Of course, I don't say it out loud.
Daughter: "What's the cause of your irritation?"



How would I know that!
Mother: "I don't know lol"
Daughter: "Let's see, because I woke you up when you were still sleeping.
Because I ate the Baumkuchen.
And then..."
The causes of my irritation keep coming out one after another.

In short, she has too many ideas, doesn't she? (lol)
Mother: "Yes, that's right!

Why do you eat it~ (lol)"
Daughter: "Because you said he brought it, so it couldn't be helped!"
My daughter's tension, answering cheerfully that it couldn't be helped, kept rising,

and she was in a state where she couldn't help but laugh, just laughing constantly.
It's great that she's happy, but it's painful for her personally.
Daughter: "Mom, something is wrong. My mental state is weird."

Mother: "Yeah, it's broken, isn't it~"
Daughter: "I'm tired..."
Mother: "Isn't it fine since you're laughing?"
Daughter: "Medicine, please give me the medicine."
Mother: "Is it necessary?"
Since I've never experienced it myself, I don't understand that high tension is painful.

But apparently, it's quite tiring for her.
So, when I gave her half the usual dose, she seemed to calm down.
Daughter: "I've calmed down..."

Mother: "That's good."
Normally, I would want to say, "Never eat Baumkuchen again!"

But saying it won't change anything.
Besides, my daughter surely thinks that I was irritated because she ate the Baumkuchen, so I ended it this time too, hoping she would be more careful next time (lol).

🥯 Summary 🐢

If she didn't have diabetes, eating a Baumkuchen shouldn't be a big deal.
I wouldn't have to be amazed or anxious about her eating it.
While I feel sorry for her, I still want her to endure it for now because there will come a day in the near future when she can eat it.
Because surely, definitely, the day will come when it's okay to eat it.

※I also write short stories.