Small Frustrations and the Meaning of the Word 'Normal'

When you go to a convenience store, they warm up what you bought.
It's appreciated, isn't it?

A middle-aged female clerk held the warmed-up bento.
My daughter came over and tried to take the bento.
The clerk said

Clerk: "Are you okay?"

She said that to my daughter, who was reaching out her hand.

My daughter nodded slightly and took the bento.
My daughter, who has sensitive skin, feels even a little bit of warmth as hot.
So, I also had the thought of "Are you okay?"

However, my daughter was trying to receive it with the thought that she was okay, so a slight gap occurred there.

Daughter: "Why was I asked if I was okay?"

So that's what she got hung up on.
I thought it meant "It's hot," but it was a phrase that bothered my daughter.

Daughter: "I'm not a child."

Indeed, "Are you okay?" is something you say to a child.
It is certainly not a phrase for a customer.
But the other person was a middle-aged woman.
Surely, her own child is a high schooler or something, and her anxiety as a parent took over.

If this had been "It's hot, are you okay?" it would have sounded like consideration for a customer.

Even so, to feel frustrated and say "I'm not a child."

You might think it's over something so trivial.
But I guess that's what they call a characteristic.

Hearing my daughter's words, I

Me: "Maybe you looked like a child~"

I brushed it off lightly.
Because it doesn't bother me, lol.

Daughter: "I'm not a child!
Children wouldn't dye their hair, would they?"

No, a delinquent girl would dye it.
Even if it's a violation of school rules, it's possible at a correspondence high school.
Even small children, depending on the parent, have their hair dyed.
I do think, don't do that to a small child, though.
But that's the parent's hobby, so I can't say anything.

It's not my grandchild, after all.

Me: "Maybe you looked like a child~"

Daughter: "I'm not a child!"

What's wrong with that? You just looked young.
Once you're over 30, you should be happy to be seen as young, lol.
I'd be thrilled if it were me.

Daughter: "Am I not normal enough to look like a child?"

Oh my.
What's wrong? What's the matter?
That's what I thought, but what came out of my mouth was.

Me: "Yeah, you're not normal."

Daughter: "So I really am not normal..."

I want to think about this for a moment.
What is 'normal' anyway?
Is someone else's 'normal' the same as your own?

Well, even though I just denied that she's normal.
Normal just means being the same as the majority, right?
It's fine not to be the same as everyone else.

If you say that, then I'm not normal either.
Because I have absolutely no intention of trying to fit in with others.
I am who I am, and I should just be myself.
I don't associate with people who won't accept that.

Socially, that's not always possible, but I want you to try not to worry about it.
If you worry about it, you lose.
Having said that, if it were that easy, we wouldn't have any trouble.
We're suffering precisely because we can't do that, though.

It's also important to forgive yourself and accept that these are just your own traits.

So, when it comes to 'normal,' isn't it fine as long as it's normal for you?
That's what I think.

So, my reply to my daughter was:

Me: "You just need to be yourself!"

That was it.
Being 'normal' is difficult even for healthy people, isn't it?
Back in the day, if you had something like ADHD, there was no diagnosis for it, and you were just called a weird person.
I think I was probably a weird person too.

Even so, I was tossed about by society and managed to get by somehow.
Now that there are diagnoses and things like developmental disorders and autism spectrum are recognized, I can say it's at least a little better.

But I can't just say, 'You're lucky, that's good.'
The pain doesn't change at all.
For the world to become an easier place to live in, a lot of understanding is needed.
But understanding isn't that easy to come by.

Therefore, you have no choice but to accept yourself and figure out how to live.
That's what family and parents can help with.
And, I'm sure, many other helping hands.

Wow, you're saying something sensible for once, lol.

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