Time of Light Particles

Until a while ago, whenever I was a few days away from an art lesson, I would fall into a habit from my music college days where I felt a psychological pressure that I 'must do this and that, or I would be sorry to my teacher,' or I would scramble to 'prepare a decent enough appearance to make the lesson worthwhile'...

My piano teacher at music college was particularly Spartan (teachers at music college vary in type), so the number of homework pieces was high and the turnover was fast. On top of that, since I had a long commute (nearly 3 hours one way), I spent my time back then just going back and forth between school and home without any detours, constantly chased by 'quantity over quality' practice while feeling unsatisfied, living in a state of 'being driven like a carriage horse.'

Perhaps because that remnant hadn't faded, I found myself with a constitution where I couldn't help but feel anxious as a conditioned reflex just because a lesson was approaching...

...However, art is truly honest, and even if I thought I had done this and that, the teacher could see right through it as 'rushed work.' The teacher actually evaluates the homework from the perspective of 'how much time you spent facing the art with sincerity (even if it was short).' And in an extreme case, even if I only managed to do one thing, they would spend the entire lesson digging deep into that.

(In reality, painting takes time. There are moments where I just 'stare at the work in progress and introspect,' and there are times when I can't make the next move until the previous one has dried. Moreover, since it is 'creation' and 'production' that I generate myself, there are times that might look like I'm 'not working on it right away.')

Yes. Even in the process leading up to completion, the teacher can see through whether or not the brushstrokes are imbued with 'heart,' such as 'conflict' or 'affection'... and they do it so easily.

And the teacher describes this 'time spent facing the work with sincerity' as [Time of Light Particles].Paintings that have accumulated [Time of Light Particles] are not shallow but have 'depth'.They say that is what we should aim for.

Thanks to receiving such advice several times, I have now been able to shake off the trauma of being overly focused on technique from my music college days, and I even managed to write down this realization below yesterday.

As a result, this [Time of Light Particles] feels good to 'me' as well. So, instead of 'I have to do it to make it in time for the lesson (other-centered),' it becomes...

...I think this creates the good cycle that should naturally exist. (Eventually, when I stand on my own, step ② will either be omitted or I will do it myself... I suppose.)

Indeed, paintings that reach the depths of the heart seem to emit 'light (= energy / vibration / love?)' as if they were alive. They are truly my alter ego...

Regardless of whether you take lessons or not, I think everyone has their own [Time of Light Particles]. When you are doing what, do you experience your [Time of Light Particles]?