🟪 Essay: Do not compare, burn your life.

▪️Do not compare, do not compare

Sometimes, I suddenly feel weak.

It happens when something unexpected occurs, when I make a mistake at work, when I feel like I might lose someone... when I feel like I'm losing sight of the meaning of continuing to run.

I think it usually boils down to either having to face the reality that I'm not that great, feeling that others' evaluations of me have dropped, or feeling like I'm about to give up because my hard work isn't yielding results.

Perhaps I am surprisingly weak when my sense of self-worth, confidence, and footing are shaken, or when the future is unpredictable.
(Writing it down makes it visible. That's why I love to write.)

I deeply realize that humans are social animals.

When I compare myself to others, I see people who are more blessed than I am.
Every time I feel like giving up because of the difference in our starting points, I tell myself, "That's not it, that's not it at all!"
People who seem blessed with everything at first glance often weren't blessed from the start.

Even if that weren't the case, so what?
Even blessed people have their own struggles.
Besides, if they are blessed, isn't that fine?
Differences in social background.
The feeling of resenting that.
No. This world is inherently unfair.
That is precisely why you should not pity yourself. Do not cast a curse that makes you inferior to yourself, of all people.


It is more important to reduce the number of people who are truly, overwhelmingly unblessed in this world.
I wish everyone could be blessed.

▪️Effort is always praised

People are born unequal.
Social correction and equality of opportunity are important.
That should be discussed extensively as a society.

However, it is also important not only to direct anger and sadness outward, but also to direct that energy inward toward yourself.
Because there are many ways to put in effort.
Even if I grew up without being taught how to put in effort, I was able to learn about effort as an adult.
Isn't that fine?

In this world, being born blessed is not praised.
Even if people try to cozy up to you.
The effort you put into overcoming adversity is what overwhelmingly touches people's hearts.
The real thing is always the real thing.

(I often think that people born blessed also carry the burden of living in a way that lives up to their birth. Being born well does not mean living easily. I definitely don't mean to say that.)

▪️In the face of true inequality

I want to turn my heart's eyes to stories that go beyond mere margins of error.

Can I be proud of my own way of living in front of a child who is starving to death today because they have nothing to eat?

That was it.
I must use up my life more.

If I have time to be afraid of my own existence, I should be a person who can use their life for others enough to blow that away.
I'm sure I will stop worrying about myself.

(This is not about unwanted self-sacrifice that makes you resent people deep down! I believe that makes both others and yourself unhappy.)

▪️The disease of being too blessed

I suddenly reflect.
Ah, I am quite blessed.
My bottom is warm from the floor heating lol, and hot water comes out when I turn the faucet.
In fact, I'm writing something like a note while being cozy right now! Oh boy, this is pretty bad!!
In the history of humanity, this is the height of quite dangerous laziness.


Don't hesitate to do what you need to do, and do it with all your might.
Keep doing it even though you don't know the results.
I recently learned that happiness is already within me at that moment.
The self that is doing it is already the self that has achieved its dreams.

▪️Burn your life

When I am trapped in my small self, I become unhappy.

Being too trapped by others' evaluations is fruitless, but that doesn't mean it's okay to have no confidence.
That's a slightly similar but different story.
The reason I lack confidence is surely because I don't think I'm doing things that I can be confident about, not because of others' evaluations.

At such times, I play the role of a cool woman.
Or, I become a skater.


I dress up, flutter my coat as if I'm wearing a queen's cape, and walk through the city with full confidence.

With Ado-chan's "Odo" or something as background music. Lol
(Actually, I sometimes use this song as background music)

Being a skater means skateboarding.
I sometimes ride a type of skateboard called a cruising board, which is made for the purpose of getting around.

I skate around town, stop by a familiar stylish cafe, and drink delicious coffee.
Skateboarding is a time for my own physical sensations and a dialogue with myself.
The movements that force me to focus on the here and now help me clear my mind.
And then, I melt into the city.

This is my therapy. lol
I stride through the city, or kick my board, with aggressive or stylish music, or perhaps chill hip-hop as my background music.

If you see a woman over 40 walking alone through Tokyo or riding a skateboard with a cool, composed look on her face, that's probably me.

You know, women are super popular when they have a slightly confident smile! (Probably, anyway)
You don't need a reason to smile.

The only person you should compare yourself to is the you of yesterday.
Don't look behind, to the side, or above.
Only what is in front is my world.
Burn your life.

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