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The Noon of Life

2025年10月13日 22:46

I am about to turn 39.
The "40-year-old wall" mentioned by working mom Haru-san (Haru Ozaki), the "midlife crisis" (is it too early for that?) often talked about in society, and so on—a massive wall seems to tower before me.

I enrolled in The Open University of Japan, took a leave of absence for a while, and have finally resumed my studies this term.
For now, I'm taking three subjects to get back into the swing of things. It is fun to learn about fields I am interested in. As I was reading through them quickly, I came across this passage.
The famous Jung once proclaimed: "Around the age of 40 is the noon of life."

I had a vague feeling about this. Could it be that I am currently at the peak of my life? In essence, both in raising children and in my career, this is the most difficult and yet the most enjoyable time.
Amidst all this, I am gradually seeing the aging of my parents, feeling bewildered by the growth of my children, and slowly feeling the weight of physical decline and the responsibilities of my work pressing down on me.
Where should I head from here? Is this path really the right one? But what if there are pitfalls on that other path? I think about so many things and stop in my tracks, finding it hard to move forward.

I look back at my notebook from two years ago. I see myself worrying about the same things, or struggling with things that seem ridiculous to me now. It feels like I haven't moved forward at all, but I realize that I am actually changing little by little. The me of two years ago is definitely different from the me of today. As long as I don't stop, everything will change. If that's the case, I want to walk toward the side where the sun shines brightly.

The noon of life. The sun might start to set from here on out. But there is still half the time left (or so I hope). I want to eat a delicious lunch with someone I love and laugh together while asking, "What shall we do next?" To make that happen, what should I do? I will aim for a place where I can laugh from the bottom of my heart.