The Man Who Was Ignored for a Year
The story of how my partner of over 10 years suddenly turned into a 'monster' one day.
This is my second post since I started writing on note in earnest. Please let me tell you a little bit about my past.
When you hear the word 'harassment,' what comes to mind? Recently, we have 'nu-hara' for the sound of slurping noodles, 'ea-hara' for arguing over air conditioner settings, 'remo-hara' during remote work... It's an era where you can just add 'hara' to the end of any word and it makes sense.
Among the many types of harassment, what I faced was 'moral harassment' (gaslighting/emotional abuse). Moreover, the content was extremely simple and the most cruel kind.
—It was 'complete silence.'
A year of silence without warning
It really started 'suddenly one day.' I had been ignored before when my partner was in a bad mood, but this time was different. There was no warning, and I had no idea why. A person who had been normal until yesterday suddenly started treating me as if I didn't exist.
Honestly, it was so incomprehensible that my mind couldn't keep up. However, while the house grew colder, the situation accelerated in an even worse direction.
The box called 'family' falling apart
In the hellish days of being ignored, a series of 'major incidents' added insult to injury.
Reporting after the fact without consultation: Buying a used car from a friend with a bonus without asking.
Mysterious shopping: Buying a Wi-Fi-only model iPad despite having a SIM card.
Financial collapse: Using the credit card I gave for living expenses to visit host clubs.
For me, struggling to make ends meet, these were fatal attacks that the word 'betrayal' was too mild to describe. Even when I demanded to know, 'What are you planning to do?', the only response was silence or getting angry back at me. Living under the same roof with someone you cannot communicate with—the sense of despair was beyond imagination.
'I can't do this anymore'—The promise I made with my son in his third year of junior high
When that situation had continued for a year, something snapped inside me. 'Ah, I've reached my limit. Both financially and mentally.'
Coincidentally, my eldest son was in his third year of junior high, a crucial time for entrance exams. It's not that I didn't struggle with the guilt of being a parent. But I was convinced that spending time in this hellish atmosphere was the biggest poison for my children.
I faced my son properly, spoke my true feelings, and we chose the path of 'divorce'.
The me who has gained freedom now
Time has passed since then, and my eldest son is now a second-year high school student. Looking back, I can state with certainty that 'the decision I made back then was 120% correct'.
To be honest, there are still many financial hardships. But compared to those days of living in fear of being "ignored" and "betrayed," my current life is overwhelmingly easier.
"I'm free! This is the best!!"
I feel like shouting that from the bottom of my heart.
People are the scariest thing.
"I, for one, will never get a divorce." I lived my whole life thinking that. But you never know what will happen in life. A person you've been with for over 10 years and trusted can suddenly turn into a "monster" one day.
People are truly terrifying. But precisely because I know that fear, the "peaceful daily life" I have gained feels more precious to me than anything else right now.
If there is anyone currently suffering from harassment or any other issue, please do not worry or carry the burden alone; talk to someone. Just doing that will make things much easier. If you have children, please make an effort to resolve the situation early for their sake as well.
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