Am I destined to become an unclaimed grave at this rate??
~The reality of graves and the future of memorial services~
When you hear the term "unclaimed grave" (muenbotoke), what comes to mind?
A grave that no one visits.
A tombstone overgrown with weeds, quietly abandoned.
It has a somewhat lonely and sad ring to it, doesn't it?
Actually, as things stand, I am scheduled to become an unclaimed grave myself😓
......Would you be surprised if I wrote that?
But this is not an unusual story.
Rather, it is a reality that will only increase from here on out.
You do not "purchase" a burial plot
Many people misunderstand this, but
you do not "purchase" a burial plot. (Excluding private family plots)
To be precise, you are only obtaining the right to "perpetual use" of the burial plot.
And most graves are located in
・Cemetery parks (public or private)
・Temple cemeteries
one of these two.
In cemetery parks, you pay an annual "maintenance fee"
to maintain common areas such as cleaning paths, water facilities, and landscaping.
In temple cemeteries, you similarly pay
an annual maintenance fee under names like temple support association fees.
This maintenance fee is a cost that must be paid continuously.
If the payment of the maintenance fee stops,
after a certain period, the grave will be removed and treated as an unclaimed grave.
In other words—
It does not become an unclaimed grave because no one visits it,
it becomes an unclaimed grave when there is no one left to pay the maintenance fees.
There is no one in my family to inherit the grave
We do not have any children.
This means that there is no one to inherit our grave, and consequently, no one to pay the maintenance fees.
If I do not take any measures now, it will eventually become an unclaimed grave.
However, is this an unusual situation?
・Married couples without children
・People who remain single for life
・People whose children live far away
・Parents who have few children and do not want to burden them
Now that the structure of families has changed, it can be said that the increase in unclaimed graves is a natural progression.
It is not that anyone is at fault.
The times have simply changed.
An era where you can choose what to do with your grave
So, what should be done?
There are options available now.
1. The option of scattering ashes
This includes methods like burial at sea or tree burials, where one returns to nature.
I am thinking of choosing a tree burial.
Returning to the earth and sleeping at the base of a tree. I feel that is a nice idea.
2. Perpetual memorial graves
It is common to have individual memorial services for a certain period (such as until the 33rd memorial service),
after which the remains are interred together with others.
This is chosen by those who do not want to leave the burden of maintenance behind.
3. Relocation of graves (moving a grave)
This is a method of moving a distant grave to a location near your home.
It is a realistic choice for families who want to preserve their ancestral graves.
Actually, graves are a common source of conflict
This is an important point.
Even if the division of the estate was amicable,
siblings often end up arguing over the grave.
Such cases are not rare.
・Who will manage it?
・How will the costs be covered?
・Will it be a joint burial or not?
Beyond the issue of money, emotions are involved.
That is precisely why,
no matter which method you choose, you should discuss it thoroughly with your family and relatives.
That is consideration for those you leave behind.
It is okay for the form of memorial services to change.
In the past, there was someone to inherit the family home, and
it was taken for granted that one would look after the grave.
But things are different now.
Becoming an unclaimed grave is not a misfortune.
Deciding nothing and communicating nothing,
thereby causing trouble for your family, is a much bigger problem.
As for my own end,
I want to clearly put my wishes into words and leave them behind.
Because I believe that is the final kindness I can show my family.
What will you do?
About your grave.
Why not take a moment to think about it?