The Protagonist's Vow — What Do People Live For?

"Why did I become a monk?"
There were nights when I asked myself that. I thought I had come here wanting to protect the temple, yet the thought, 'I won't be here until the end anyway,' would sometimes cross my mind.❇️

"Never forget your beginner's mind."
This is a phrase often heard in Zen.
However, it is only recently that I feel I have begun to see its true meaning.
The beginner's mind is not the determination you had on the day you became a monk.
It is something much older and much deeper.
I call it the "Protagonist's Vow."
In Zen, there are various terms such as "protagonist," "original self," "true person of no rank," and "ox-herding."
All of these refer to the original self, independent of titles, profit and loss, or worldly evaluation.
So, what does that protagonist wish for?
I believe it is the pure wish from childhood, before being tainted by worldly values.
I sometimes ask myself:
"Why did I become a monk?"
"What is my true hope?"
When I keep asking that, strangely enough, the answer always returns to the same place.
I want to be of help to others.
That was my protagonist's vow.
However, as we grow into adults, that wish gradually changes its form into something else.
For a living.
For the family.
To build a house.
To raise children.
For old age.
These are all essential and important things in life.
But they are not the purpose of life; they are the means to support life.
When the means become the purpose, people lose their way somewhere along the line.
"People die anyway."
"I won't be here until the end anyway."
Such thoughts can cloud the heart.
I myself have thought so many times.
That is precisely why I return to the protagonist again and again.
When I was young, I studied a psychology called transactional analysis.
It is said there that people live according to a "life script" created in early childhood.
It is a very interesting way of thinking.
However, now that I have studied Zen, I have come to think that there might be another perspective.
What changes life is not the script, but
the protagonist's vow.
When one's original wish becomes clear, one's daily choices change.
If choices change, actions change.
If actions change, life changes.
I feel this as "the life program changing."
Everyone gets lost.
Everyone becomes weak.
Even so, if the protagonist's vow continues to live deep in the heart, one can stand up again and again.
Therefore, to me, hope is not about having wishes come true.
It is about remembering the protagonist's vow and living today in accordance with that wish.
That is true hope.
What does your protagonist wish for?
When you listen quietly to that voice, I believe that life begins to change from something given by others into a path walked by one's own wishes.

Starting August 13th, I will publish an 8-part series of articles titled "The Protagonist's Vow."
I will show you the foundation of "Temple of Words❇️Teiho-in."
Look forward to it!!