To you who are tired of all the "nice to meet yous" in your new life
April is a time filled with "nice to meet yous"
A new workplace, a new environment, new relationships.
Even if you aren't particularly shy, you feel like you have to be a little on guard every day.
"I wonder what this person thinks of me."
"Will I be able to talk properly?"
"I don't want to make a bad impression."
Just thinking about things like that makes you gradually feel tired.
I really think that starting a new life takes a lot of energy.
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Why are first meetings so nerve-wracking?
When talking to someone for the first time,
I don't know what to talk about, I don't know the right distance to keep, and I worry about what will happen if things get awkward.
Even while I'm talking, inside my heart I'm constantly
"Is this okay? Am I acting weird?"
checking myself like that.
I wonder why I feel so exhausted after it's over (lol).
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A mindset I recently discovered to reduce nervousness
But I recently made a discovery.
When I meet someone for the first time, I try to think like this:
"Maybe this person looks like someone I know."
"This senior is the same age as my cousin."
Just that.
It's just that, but it makes my feelings feel suddenly lighter.
If you think of the other person as a "stranger you're meeting for the first time," you get nervous, but if you find some common ground, you naturally start to feel a sense of familiarity.
For example, if there is a 25-year-old senior,
I think, "They're the same age as my cousin!"
Then suddenly,
"Maybe they're easy to talk to."
"Maybe they aren't scary."
It becomes that way.
It's simple, but it's surprisingly effective.
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Psychologically speaking, this is...
Psychologically speaking,
• Law of similarity (we feel at ease when things are similar)
• Familiarity effect (we feel at ease when there are familiar elements)
• Reframing (changing how you perceive things)
It seems to be something like that.
In other words,
instead of
"a scary senior"
just by thinking of them as
"a person the same age as my cousin"
your brain switches to a state of feeling at ease.
I realized that when we are nervous, we are actually looking for
"materials that make us feel safe."
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When you try it, it really changes things
Since I started using this way of thinking,
I feel like I don't feel as pressured in first-meeting situations as I used to.
It's not like I suddenly become cheerful or anything, but
"it's just a little easier."
This "little bit" is huge.
It's hard to reduce nervousness to zero, but
even reducing it by 10% makes life much easier.
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Tips for getting through the season of many "nice to meet yous"
If there is anyone who is bad at first meetings,
I want you to try looking for "maybe this person looks like someone I know."
It could be their age, their vibe, the way they talk, or their clothes.
As long as you can feel at ease on your own, that's fine.
Don't change the other person,
change how you handle your own nervousness.
Just by doing that, your new life will become a little bit easier.
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Conclusion
The season with many "nice to meet yous" is happy, but at the same time, it's tiring.
But that is proof that you are trying your best.
It's natural that it takes time to get used to things.
You don't have to force yourself to be cheerful, and it's okay if you can't talk perfectly.
To everyone working hard in a new environment today, thank you so much for your efforts 🌸