When you can accept your past self, you can finally smile from the heart

Don't you ever have moments where past events suddenly pop into your head?

“I should have done that back then,”
“Why did I say something like that?”
“Was this really the right thing to do...?”

Before you know it, you're replaying the same scene over and over.

And in the end,
it just leaves you feeling somewhat unsettled.

If you thought, “Oh, this is about me...”, then
this article is surely for you.

Actually,
it's not painful because “the past was wrong.”

The true source of the pain is that you haven't “come to terms with it”yet.

Today, I will talk about how that mechanism works and
how you can come to terms with your past self,
as simply as possible.

If you think in terms of “whether it was right or wrong,” it will never end.

First of all, I want you to know this:

There is no “correct answer” to past choices.

For example, to put it simply:
・I turned down the invitation back then.
・I broke up with that person back then.
・I swallowed those words back then.

You can say anything you want about these after the fact.

“I should have gone.”
“I shouldn't have broken up.”
“I should have said it.”

But this is just
judging the past from your “current perspective.”isn't it?

The you at that time had:
・The energy you had then,
・The feelings you had then,
・The environment you were in then.

You made that choice taking all of that into account.

In other words,
it is highly likely that it was the best choice for you at that time.

Therefore, as long as you keep thinking about “whether it was right or wrong,”
you will never find an answer.

A certain way of thinking practiced by people who are held back by the past

People who keep remembering the past
have something in common

That is
thinking, "There must have been a better choice"

This is a very natural way of thinking, but
it is actually a very painful mindset

The reason is that
"There was a better choice"
= "My current self is wrong"

because you end up unconsciously blaming yourself over and over

For example, like this
・"If I had gone then, maybe the result would have been better"
・"If I had said it differently then, maybe the relationship would have continued"

But this
you don't really know if that was true

Rather
if you had made a different choice, there is a possibility you would have had different regrets

When you realize this
your perspective changes a little.

"Acceptance" is born not from events, but from "understanding yourself"

This is the most important point

The reason you cannot accept the past
is not because of the events

it is because you do not understand your self at that time

For example
if you are thinking about the self who refused back then
"Why didn't you go?"
I want you to try asking this

👉 "What was it that I didn't like back then?"
👉 "What was I trying to protect back then?"

Then what comes out is
・I was tired
・I didn't want to be considerate
・I didn't want to push myself

things like, "valid reasons"

In other words
the self back then was trying to protect yourself

When you can see that
"Why did you do something like that?" changes to
"Ah, that's how it was"

For the first time here
"acceptance" is born

The moment the past changes is not when you 'forgive' it

It's a common misunderstanding, but
there are quite a few people who think
they 'must forgive the past'

But in reality, that's not the case

It's okay if you can't forgive it

What's important is
acknowledging the 'you who felt that way'

For example,
'I was scared back then,'
'I hated it back then,'
'I wanted to run away back then'

Instead of saying
'You shouldn't think things like that'

treat it by saying
'Of course you'd feel that way'

Just by doing this,
the way you see the past changes.

When you can accept it, you naturally look forward

It's strange, but
once you can accept the past,
even without trying to 'be positive'

👉 you find yourself looking forward on your own

This is a matter of feeling, but
• The spinning thoughts in your head decrease
• The time spent thinking about the same things decreases
• You find yourself laughing before you know it

You end up in this state

Conversely,
the reason you can't move forward is simply that you haven't accepted it yet

You don't have to force yourself to be positive,
and you don't have to try to move on

What you need to do is simple:
understand your past self

That is all

Properly look at 'the you from back then'

To you who have read this far,
just one last thing

If you are currently
feeling uneasy about the past

Instead of asking "what should I have done differently"

👉 "How was I feeling at that time?"

Please take a moment to think about this slowly

Surely, you will find there:
・A version of you that was desperate
・A version of you that was trying to protect something
・A version of you that was doing your best
is there

And when you realize that,
"The me back then was fine as they were"
you will start to be able to think that, just a little

In that moment,
you will find that you are smiling a little without realizing it

There is no need to rush
Coming to terms with it can be done slowly.

But just take one step
and try to make time to understand your past self

From there, you will truly begin to change