On the day of the morning assembly, I actually thought about running away
Good morning, everyone.
In my previous article,
I wrote about how for 33 years, I wanted to change but couldn't.
That is the story I shared.
Today, I will continue that story.
I would like to talk about the day my life began to move forward.
I developed stage fright when I was in my third year of junior high school.
Since then, for 33 years,
I have kept running away from speaking in front of people.
Actually, even at work,
I avoided shifts that coincided with the morning assembly.
The morning assembly was held every day.
But I,
chose late shifts to avoid attending the morning assembly as much as possible.
That is how scared I was.
When I was 47 years old, I,
"I will stop running away now."
That is what I decided.
And then,
I volunteered to lead the morning assembly myself.
Looking back now,
I think that was a turning point in my life.
But honestly,
even though I had made up my mind, I was scared.
The night before,
I couldn't really sleep.
Even after getting into bed,
I kept thinking, 'What should I do tomorrow?'
'What if my mind goes blank in the middle of it?'
'What if I lose my voice?'
That was all I could think about.
And then, the morning of the day arrived.
My steps were heavy as I headed to the office.
I'm scared.
If I could, I wouldn't want to do this.
Those feelings were with me the whole time.
But,
I won't run away.
That was the one thing I had decided.
The morning assembly began.
The person before me is speaking.
But,
nothing is sinking in.
Next is me.
Next is me.
Next is me.
That was all I could think about.
My heart was pounding.
My hands were shaking.
I was drenched in sweat.
The notes I was holding,
had also become crumpled from my sweat.
And just before it was my turn,
I seriously thought,
'Maybe I should go to the bathroom.'
If I go now, I can still make it.
I can escape.
That thought crossed my mind.
But at that moment,
I felt like another version of myself spoke up.
"Are you going to run away again?"
I ran away from my dream of becoming a teacher.
I ran away from speaking in front of people.
I have been running away for 33 years.
That is why, for that one day,
I did not want to run away.
And so,
I stood at the front.
What I said,
I honestly do not remember much.
I think my voice was shaking, too.
I do not think I spoke well either.
But,
I remember the moment it ended.
I did it.
That was truly all there was to it.
But for me,
it was a sense of accomplishment that made me feel like I had won the M-1 Grand Prix.
I am not exaggerating,
it is one of the happiest moments of my life.
Since that day,
my life began to move forward little by little.
At the morning assembly that day,
it wasn't that I spoke well.
It wasn't that I stopped feeling nervous either.
It's just that,
I didn't run away.
That's all.
But,
the moment my life began to move,
was from that day.
That's why I think now.
What changes your life,
is not special talent,
or great success,
but perhaps,
a day where you didn't run away.
On that day at age 47,
the morning assembly where I spoke with a trembling voice,
changed my life.
You can change your life at any age.
⏬️I am also delivering this message earnestly through my voice.
Here is today's Stand.fm.