Because we have a secret nickname that only the two of us know.

While we usually call each other by our common nicknames, we also have various other ways of addressing one another.

Among them, there is a secret nickname that we have never revealed to anyone.


It is a lovey-dovey, sweet nickname from when we were just starting to date.
It's so embarrassing that I will probably never reveal it to anyone for the rest of my life.




＿＿No, that's a lie.
Once, I had a friend see a LINE message containing that nickname.

It was truly by chance; when I showed her my LINE screen for something else, she handed my phone back, and then muttered something afterward.


“Ah, so that’s it. I guess lovey-dovey couples really do have their own way of calling each other.”





Huh? What?
What do you mean?
Not realizing that she had seen the LINE message with the nickname, I dug my own grave by asking for a more detailed explanation.
My friend, with a look that suggested she was wondering if she should really bring it up, pointed at the screen and said, “No, this right here.”


Oh my, oh my, oh my.
Inside, I panicked, thinking, “Oh no! How embarrassing!”
But for some reason, the words “Oh, stop it! That’s embarrassing!” didn't come to mind.

“Oh, this? Yeah, well, this is just how we are.”
I pretended to be calm and replied like that.
Oh, that was even more embarrassing.

Perhaps sensing the situation, my friend just replied with an “I see” and didn't press any further.
I died inside.

My husband, I am sorry.
The name you made sound so lovey-dovey, and the LINE message with a red heart ❤️ at the end.
I let someone else read every single word of it.
Ten years later, I confess this here.

But I will never reveal a single thing to you, and I will take this fact to my grave.

But well, I once read in a book that having a nickname that only the two of you know improves the relationship between a married couple.
It is a way of addressing each other that only the two of you understand.
Because it is a secret between the two of you that no one else knows.


When we were newlyweds, this lovey-dovey nickname was so ingrained that I almost died several times by nearly saying it in front of my own mother.
I had to scramble to cover it up every time it slipped out.

This is bad.
If we have children and call each other by this name, they will definitely ask, “What does that mean?”
And what if it gets spread around to others?
＿＿No way.
I wouldn't be able to live in this town anymore.

I was worried about that, but strangely enough, I never once said this nickname in front of the children.
Especially me.

I think that is because I am in “mother mode” then.
I have become more of a “mother” to my children than a “woman” to my husband.
I even refer to myself as “Mama.”

Only when I am alone with my husband does that secret nickname come out.
I am impressed by my own ability to switch modes.





But there is something I fear.
That is forgetting the secret nickname itself.
Or even more so,forgetting the “relationship” where we call each other by that name.


I am often too desperate to be a “mother” and sometimes put my husband on the back burner.

But when I grow old, the one who will be with me forever is my husband.
The one by my side is not my son, but my husband.
That is why I want to cherish him and keep our relationship good for a long time.

When I think about it again, the lovey-dovey nickname is incredibly embarrassing.
But maybe, just maybe, I will try calling him by it once in a while.


＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿

I am participating in Coffee Jiro-san's project this time as well.
I look forward to it every week.

What I think is great about Coffee Jiro-san's prompts is that they are very pinpoint themes .

Broad themes like “The secret to a happy marriage” or “What makes a good couple” are certainly worth writing about.
However, in this project, the prompts are set by narrowing them down to quite specific areas

like “marital arguments,” “physical affection,” or “nicknames.”Because of that, everyone's episodes really come out, which makes it fun to write and interesting to read compared to others.

This is just my personal opinion.
Once again, thank you, Coffee Jiro-san, for the wonderful prompts and your thoughtful reviews.