I want to reduce the number of people who blame themselves. The reason why 🌿

Why is it always me?
I should just be the one to endure it.
I have to try harder.

I have heard those words many times in counseling sessions.
People who say those things have something in common.

They were all very kind people.

Introduction

The kinder a person is, the more they blame themselves.
Watching that, I have spent many hours providing support.

I want to be kind to my children, but I end up speaking harshly.
I am afraid of failure, and I cannot feel at ease unless I am perfect.
I am always apologizing, and I put my own feelings on the back burner.

That is not a 'weakness,' but perhaps a 'kind strategy' you learned to protect someone.

The inherited shape of the heart

How we live is conveyed more through the atmosphere than through words.

For example,
the experience of not having your painful feelings acknowledged,
and being told with a smile, 'It's okay, it's okay.'

Being encouraged by being told, 'Even if it's painful, if you keep smiling, something good will surely happen,' while losing the ability to express your true feelings.

'You must not be laughed at by others.'
'Work hard for the sake of others.'
'I am saying this for your own good.'
I think many people have received such words.

There was genuine love in that.
Parents also truly wanted to protect their children.

But within that kindness,
you may have unknowingly learned a way of life where you think,
'It's okay to put my own feelings last,'
or 'I have to work harder than others.'

Parents, too, were people who were taught that by someone else.
That is precisely why I believe it is important to gently unravel this chain somewhere.

A society of self-blame and sorrow

In Japan, depression and anxiety continue to increase.
In the background, there is a quiet chain of 'self-blame' and 'sorrow'.

The more capable you are of caring for others,
the stricter you become with yourself.
The pain of not being able to exert your true strength
is also connected to the difficulty of living in society.

My wish

I want to stop this chain.
From self-blame to self-understanding.

Ah, so this is why I found life so difficult—
When you realize that, kindness begins to turn toward yourself as well.

So that secure relationships can be passed on to the next generation.
I want to spread counseling not as something special,
but as a part of everyday culture.

That is why I continue to post on note.

In conclusion

If you are feeling "Why is it always me?" right now,
it is not because you are weak.

The "kindness" you have inherited
has simply brought "difficulty in living" along with it.

That chain can be stopped right here.
Starting today, slowly.

🌿
In this post,
I will share self-care methods for "moving from self-blame to self-understanding"
summarized from the perspective of brief therapy.

I have compiled exercises you can gently recall
when you find yourself blaming yourself in daily life.
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🌿 For those who want to consult about blaming themselves

If you feel you "cannot carry it alone," please consult me via my official LINE.

👉 Click here to register for the official LINE

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🌿 For those who want to cultivate peace of mind through reading

In my membership, I provide articles and exercises to help you move from self-blame to self-understanding.

👉 Click here for membership details

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#ToThoseWhoBlameThemselves
#SelfUnderstanding
#ChainOfKindness
#GrowthOfTheHeart
#SecureRelationships
#WordsFromAPsychologist
#BriefTherapy
#PowerOfWords
#Psychology
#noteUniversityFreshman