Messages Named "Emotions"—A Journey to Decipher the Map of Life's Difficulties

We all live with various emotions. Joy, sadness, anger, anxiety, and a faint sense of loneliness. Emotions are precious things that enrich our hearts and add color to our lives. However, there are times when those emotions cause us pain and leave us feeling stuck.

"Why am I feeling so irritated?" "For some reason, I always have a vague sense of anxiety." "I've let myself get down about the same thing again..."

If you feel like you are being swayed by your emotions in that way, it might be a sign that your heart is trying to convey an important message to you.

The "Mental Habits (Schemas)" Hidden Deep Within Emotions

Each of us has different "mental habits." In psychology, these are sometimes called "schemas." They are like "mental filters" that we have worn since we were young. We view the world, interpret events, and experience emotions through these filters.

For example, if you had an experience as a child where you "worked hard but were not acknowledged," a mental habit (schema) that says "no matter how hard I try, it's no use" may develop even as an adult. Then, when you try to take on something new, a negative emotion of "it won't go well anyway" arises before you even start.

Alternatively, if you have a schema that says "I won't be loved unless I am perfect," you might blame yourself severely for even the smallest mistake and be overcome with deep guilt or anxiety. Emotions often arise like a "reaction" when these mental habits (schemas) are triggered.

In this way, behind the "difficult" emotions we experience repeatedly, there are often hidden emotional wounds born from past experiences and the schemas that accompany them. These can control our emotions and behaviors at an unconscious level that is difficult to notice on our own.

I myself, due to my temperament as an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person), have a tendency to sensitively perceive subtle changes in the atmosphere around me and in human relationships. While the ability to sense the movements of people's hearts is often useful in supporting others as a psychologist, I have recently realized that I can also take the unintended words of others negatively. This is likely because I possess not only the HSP temperament but also characteristics of an Adult Child. For someone like me who finds it difficult to accept situations in a self-affirming way, sometimes the words and actions of others that mean nothing feel as if I am being rejected or abandoned.

That is precisely why I keenly feel the importance of noticing my own mental habits (schemas). While I cannot talk about specific experiences here, I am currently in the process of facing this schema, which has been the cause of major changes in my life. I feel that I, who support others as a psychologist, need to deepen my self-understanding now and move on to a stage of true "healing."

Knowing "Modes"—What is the heart doing when emotions run wild?

When we face difficult situations, our hearts can enter specific "modes." A mode is the state of the heart or the state of emotions at that moment. For example,

• "Wounded Child Mode": A state of being sad, helpless, and seeking help from someone.

• "Anger Mode": A state of wanting to fiercely rebel against unfairness or unjust treatment.

• "Perfectionist Mode": A state of not allowing even the slightest mistake and cornering oneself.

These modes are activated when past emotional wounds or schemas are triggered. And each mode strongly evokes specific emotions. For example, sadness and loneliness arise strongly when in "Wounded Child Mode," and anger arises strongly when in "Anger Mode."

Noticing when you enter which mode and which emotions arise strongly. This is the first step to living without being swayed by your emotions. It is like becoming a "mental detective" who objectively observes your own emotional patterns.

Emotions are "messages"—Accept them and find a new path

So, what should you do when you notice your emotions?

The important thing is not to judge the emotions that well up as "good or bad," but first to accept them as things that are "just existing there." This is because emotions are important messages trying to tell us something.

For example, when you feel strong anxiety, it might be a message saying, 'There might be danger, so be prepared,' or it could be a message saying, 'A painful past experience is being recalled.' By listening to the messages deep within our emotions, we can understand ourselves more deeply.

Next, let's turn our attention to the mental habits (schemas) behind those emotions. These are like 'safety devices' that your past self created to protect you. You might realize that these 'safety devices' are no longer necessary for who you are now, or conversely, that they are actually creating difficulties in your life.

Once you have accepted your emotions and understood your mental habits, it is time to look for a 'new path.' Try choosing 'new ways of thinking' or 'new actions' that are not bound by past schemas and that lead you toward a state that is more comfortable and happier for you.

What lies beyond facing your emotions

The journey of carefully facing your emotions is by no means easy. Facing deep emotional wounds or long-held anxieties can sometimes be painful. When emotions become overwhelming, it is important not to push yourself and to seek support from trusted people or professionals; I feel this strongly myself.

However, what awaits you at the end of this journey is an irreplaceable treasure.

By properly facing our emotions, we can deepen our understanding of ourselves and cultivate self-esteem. And little by little, you will be able to accept yourself, thinking, 'I am okay just as I am,' and 'Every emotion is a part of me.'

Sometimes, you may even experience the mysterious process where, after facing painful emotions, they transform into feelings of gratitude.

Emotions are a mirror that reflects your heart. And the journey of facing those emotions will surely clarify the 'meaning of life'—how you truly want to live and what kind of life you want to walk.

Now, why not start today by listening to the messages named 'emotions' and setting out on a journey to unfold the map of your heart?

[Postscript] I was finally able to revise and publish this post today, which had been sitting in my drafts. There is so much I want to convey, but I don't know where to begin. Honestly, I might be wishing in my heart right now for someone to heal the 'real me.' But I am now accepting that these words, too, are an important message from my own 'emotions'.