Prepared for the Heat of Impropriety! Gods & Buddhas! Unreasonable Ones! Please Give Me 30 Hours a Day!

Subtitle 1: 11.20 Gratitude! 60th consecutive day of note posting (126 articles) - Looking back and moving forward
Subtitle 2: 11.19 A day of quiet, intense debate as a married couple | Bonds (Connections)

Subtitle 1:
11.20 Gratitude! 60th consecutive day of note posting (126 articles) - Looking back and moving forward

With my post on 11/20 (Sat), I reached 60 consecutive days of posting.

"Are you pushing yourself too hard?"

"No, not at all. I'm having so much fun it's actually a problem (laughs)."

"My heart is burning with fulfillment and I'm at my peak."

If I could, I would bow my head to everyone I could possibly ask to grant me 30 hours a day.

I am aware that there are people who manage their time, cut corners, and even sacrifice sleep to face their note writing.

"Why are you running out of time when you're on leave and not even going to work?"

"Don't be so spoiled!"

I know it's inevitable that I would be teased like that.

Even so, I dare to say it.

"Please give me just 6 more hours of time!"

Everything depends on oneself. That is true.

Ultimately, there is no choice but to decide to declutter. I think that is true.

Even so, the tricky thing about the note system is that it dangles infinite connections and possibilities in front of you.

1. If I keep getting "likes" on articles I posted with trepidation, I feel genuinely happy.

2. If I can hear the raw voices (comments) of other noters, a wonderful sense of emotion sprouts.

3. In places where I only intended to say hello, I discover new insights and receive courage.

4. There are also surprises, such as having people register my work to their magazines in places I never expected.

5. I get to make friends through comments, and we can even joke around with each other.

6. The other day, thanks to encountering just one article, despite your busy schedule, I was able to receive grateful advice on how to write "articles that people will want to read." I could never have predicted that I would be passionately guided on the theme of "life."

7. Furthermore, you provide me with suggestions on how to challenge myself in this chaotic internet world and forecasts for the safety of my path ahead.

8. The Santa icon wasn't my own idea either. It was because I was asked to help with the publicity for a Christmas project.

There are too many wonderful articles, and the noters who create them are too wonderful, so it feels presumptuous to try and draw a line...

It is such a wonderful time that I lose track of how far I should go.

That is why I completely run out of time.

This time is a gift from many people that I could not have set in motion or shaped on my own.

So, it's not about profit or loss, but purely, "What a waste!"

The potential for "realization and courage" is spreading everywhere.

Unfortunately, right now, the gods, Buddhas, and unreasonable ones have turned their backs on me, and I am managing within the same 24 hours as everyone else (bitter laugh).

I sometimes reveal things that are bordering on disgraceful, but I do not want to beg for sympathy.

This is purely an act to confirm my own inner cries for myself.
(I calm my heart during the process from writing out (venting) to posting the article.)
(By the time it takes the form of an article, I believe the rawness and grotesqueness have disappeared (bitter laugh).)

Of course, I will not say,"If you're going to sympathize, give me money!"either.

However, I hope that through the articles I write,

"That helped"
"I was saved!"
"I'm glad I listened!"
"You hit the nail on the head!"
"You're sharp!"
"That's stylish!"
"Thank you!"
"Have a canned coffee!"
"Do you smoke? Take one or two!"

I want to move hearts, share emotions, and find empathy.

I felt this the other day when I went to a nearby observatory to watch the partial lunar eclipse on 11/19 (Fri),

The 'shared emotion' at the moment the long-awaited 'moon' rises with many gallery visitors I don't know at all.

With people sitting next to me by chance whom I met for the first time,

'Were you friends a long time ago?'

that feeling of hitting it off and sharing the joy to the point of illusion!

I think how wonderful it would be if I could feel that through my articles.

My main theme is 'life'.

There are various angles, and although I have already started working on them, they are ultimately 'traffic safety' and 'the mindset for accident-free driving'.

I would like to devise ways to make this easier to understand, more widespread, and effective in a shorter amount of time.

In general, because I am very curious, I think I may go off on tangents, but there is no doubt that 'life' is always at the root of it.

This is my frank state of mind at the current point, which is my 60th day of posting.

Thank you once again for your continued support.

The numbers aggregated by note on the 60th day are as shown in the top image.

I believe the meaning of those numbers is a reward (a trajectory) for continuing and for the accumulation of feelings of emotion and gratitude.

When I first started, the world of 10,000 views as a number was something far away and unrelated to me, and it was not in my field of vision at all.

It was just, 'Wow, that's amazing'.

Perhaps this is what is meant by dry and dull.

Because I had no basis for believing it would reach anyone and setting it as a goal, and everything from specific themes and destinations to methods was groping in the dark.

The large amount of time I gained through a mental illness called adjustment disorder and the pause of taking a leave of absence became the trigger for my encounter with note.

At first, it was just a tool for'writing out the fog in my head'.

Actually, even now, it is no different that I start by just'writing it out first' (bitter smile).

However, I believe the biggest change is that I have come to feel as though I can grasp hope in exchange for the passion I bring to my work (using this as my weapon).

I can see the theme, I know the points that need improvement,

and above all else,

“There are so many wonderful people I can rely on!”

I feel that knowing this is a major achievement.

This brings us to the end of Subtitle 1, and to those who have followed this strange middle-aged guy, and those I am following,

I offer my heartfelt, warm, and deep gratitude.

I am extremely grateful for the abundance of inspiration, wonder, insights, and courage you have generously shared with me.

Thank you very much.

And I look forward to your continued watchfulness, opinions, and guidance.

Subtitle 2:
11.19 A Day of Quiet, Intense Debate Between Husband and Wife | Kizuna (Connection)

From here on, this is the story behind my passion (my extremely positive feelings).

We spent two hours in a quiet, intense debate.

I have intentionally marked this as a memorable day: 11.19 (the day of the partial solar eclipse).

My wife started the conversation by saying,“I want to talk.”She brought it up.

“Pay a little more attention to me.”That was the opening, and

although I was aware of it,“Look at reality.”was the main topic.

While on leave, injury and sickness allowance is paid.

I am very grateful for this, but

when compared to my take-home pay with full overtime, only about 55% of that amount comes into my hands.

(Since I am a contract employee, I believe the ratio is different from that of full-time employees.)

To put it bluntly, there is no way life could run smoothly.

If you are recuperating from something like a bone fracture, you can grasp the prospects for recovery and the progress in terms of concrete appearance and numbers (days).

However, the troublesome thing about mental illness is that (setting aside self-indulgence) it is completely impossible to estimate or control.

Because the feeling of impatience blames oneself and sets back recovery, there were times when I had no choice but to patiently spend time doing nothing at all for a day (or sometimes a week at a time).

“One step forward, two steps back,” “Two steps forward, three steps back,” “Three steps forward, four steps back.”

“In the end, I’m not moving forward at all!”

Days like that continued endlessly.

About three months after starting my leave of absence, I found myself in such a painful situation.

During that time, my wife patiently watched over me quietly.

My encounter with note was at the beginning of that period (first post on 7/27), but I was able to feel in the best possible mood, and I could only face note during the few moments when my consciousness was working a little more positively and spontaneously.

“A pause in life,”it also became a time of
“facing myself”,“a painful time of deep digging.”

In the process, I realized that I am a highly“HSP,”and that“it’s okay to be myself,”which allowed me to gradually turn my thinking around.

It would have been nice if I could have worked on it systematically with a deadline, but since I left it up to my mood (state of mind), it couldn't be helped that it took time.

“Too slow!”I have no words to retort if told that. However, that is correct. To maintain my livelihood, it was“too late.”

The shortcut to obtaining essential sustenance is returning to work, changing jobs, or doing day labor/part-time work.

(My wife and I even tried being “pachinko players” together, but the 16-hour commitment including travel time was not something we could sustain.)

There is no choice but to go out into the world in exchange for time and body (and spirit for those suffering from mental illness).

However, this line of thinking meant 100% denying this period of recuperation.

Even though I was able to find a new path of hope (a faint light) through my own deep digging and came to think“I want to live as myself!”...

Putting that aside to change into a uniform felt like an act of suicide.

Even though she understood these feelings, my wife's desperation had reached a point where she couldn't find the words.

“I want to talk!”
“Pay a little more attention to me!”
“Look at reality!”

That was it.

We didn't just look back on these past five months; we discussed the differences in our thinking between the past and present, our impending old age, what we want to do before we pass away from old age, our dreams, and the fact that I have now found new courage and hope.

We spent over two hours thoroughly and quietly discussing these things.

Perhaps the greatest achievement gained from this deep dive was that we didn't get emotional, fly into a rage, or end up in a fight.
It was a time when I could be certain that I have grown incomparably more than I used to be.

Also, unfortunately, our beloved dog suddenly developed a herniated disc and lost the use of both hind legs, and I feel that this also turned our eyes toward life and softened our consciousness.

My wife saw through that and empathized with me.

I feel that the bond between us as a married couple has strengthened and we have moved up a level.

I feel that our bond has become even firmer.

I'm sorry for making you endure so much.

Thank you for supporting me.

And, please stay with me until the very last day.

Using task earnings from crowdsourcing as a starting point, I have been working steadily (effectively about a week in November) while keeping in mind the goal of practicing writing and learning about the mood of the industry, but“It's not easy!”is my honest opinion.

The result was 763 yen for 9 tasks.
(I have obscured the details to avoid identifying the specific projects. Though it's not really worth hiding.)

I haven't calculated the unit price based on the time spent and the number of characters written.

Needless to say, it is because it is“at a level that is not worth talking about.”

Even so, I was able to sense that if I face it properly, there is a possibility of earning a slightly more substantial amount.

It is still a long way from a level that can support my livelihood, but

I have no desire to be a normal working professional (a member of an organization),

and I have decided to bet on the ray of hope I can see right now.

Instead of saying, "I don't know how far I can go!"

I'm saying, "I'll go as far as I can!"

The fact that there is no other choice has become one of the points of agreement with my wife.

From now on, I want to aim for a stage that can be called stable, and I would like to work on it while consulting with my wife on concrete measures.

"No matter how I think about it, this is the only way!"

"To live as myself."

And,

"To keep holding onto dreams and hope as a family of 2.5."

It is because I met note,

it is because I was able to interact with all of you,

that I have been able to dream of a new form,

something I could never have imagined before.

I truly have nothing but gratitude.

Thank you so much.

P.S.

Believe it or not! My wife also recently started note. I'm acting like a senior and teaching her what "likes" are (lol). I find myself feeling cute when I look back on it. She has already gained followers and is following others, and she is thrilled with the "likes" and "comments" she receives.

Regarding note, we basically don't interfere with each other. We have decided to write down exactly what each of us feels. Of course, this does not apply when we consult each other. I will refrain from sharing her handle name here. However, please do take a look at my wife's articles as well. Thank you for your support.

Thank you for reading until the end.

I receive energy and courage from each and every one of your warm sentiments.

Once again, I look forward to your continued support.

* * * * *
※ Points of concern in this article (I have started noting things I was unsure about in terms of expression)
・The overall state of revision is at best 50%. It is close to the level of just having been poured out.
・I wanted to avoid it becoming too polished by over-refining it, so I left it raw.
・In the latter half, I use words that should be avoided such as "death" and "demise," but I do not wish for that myself, nor is it intended to suggest it.
・Please forgive me if this causes any discomfort or worry (if I were that faint-hearted, I wouldn't have written this article).

※References/Citations

<Image Photos>
note images and CW images | Screenshots on PC
Partial Lunar Eclipse Gallery | Smartphone photos
Bonds | Created by fujiwara
https://www.photo-ac.com

<Special Thanks (in no particular order, titles omitted)>

11.19 Precious realizations and courage received from Kiyoko-san

11.19 A treasure added that began with greetings from Tsuru-sensei

Being prolific

Condensed time: These two days were a long-awaited cleansing of the soul

I'm eating with my children and grandchildren today, so I made sweet potatoes for a snack

Increasing situations where you can feel "gratitude" yourself. [Staff Training Techniques]

"Money Rehabilitation" by a Physical Therapist?? - A way of living that doesn't rely on the company

A revolution of "ordinary people" is happening!!

Gather, Santa Clauses of the ●-year-old festival ● [Christmas Project]

Toraneko's Joint Magazine

aloha-san

Saito T-cho-san

Biore ∞ Biore #Photosynthesis of Life-san

How to spend a bad day | Making yourself happy | On leave | vlog | Adjustment disorder

note | To all the noters

<<💝Christmas Project💝>>

1. Applications for the Sai no Matsuri 'Story of Two People's Love (Novel)' are from 11/14 (Sun) to 11/23 (Tue).
Main theme: 'Love of two people'
Sub-theme: 'Christmas/Gifts'

Christmas creation made by everyone [Project Introduction]

2. You can also become a Santa! has ended successfully.
You can have a cute and wonderful icon made. [It was until 11/17 (Wed)]

● Gather, Sai no Matsuri Santas ● [Christmas Project]

💝　💝　💝　💝　💝　💝　💝

[12/7 (Tue) Additional Information]

[Announcement] Why not make a wish to Santa? [Christmas Project]
[Until 12/22 (Wed)]

#Sai no Matsuri [Christmas Project] 'Story of Two People's Love' Santa Review | Guiding you to the main entrance, etc. ♪ Red Hot! ♪

That is all