🌱 How to Nurture Your Heart Part 2: If You 'Lack Confidence,' You Don't Have to Try So Hard Alone

I used to think,

“I have to be able to do this on my own.”

I wasn't good at relying on others, and sometimes I would blame myself, thinking,

“I can't even do something like this by myself...”

Instead of asking someone for help, I would think,

“I have to do my best on my own.”

But looking back now, I think that maybe it wasn't that I couldn't do it alone because I lacked confidence, but rather that I didn't have the opportunity to build confidence because I was trying too hard on my own.

🌱 If you lack confidence, start by 'relying' on others

When you lack confidence, even if someone tells you,

“You need to have more confidence,”

it’s hard to gain it. After all, you don't have it.

If you could just gain confidence by deciding to have it, you wouldn't be struggling in the first place, right?

So, you don't have to make building confidence your first goal.

First, try relying on someone.

That’s perfectly fine.

・“Could you do this with me?”

・“I don't understand this, could you teach me?”

・“It’s difficult for me to do alone, so I’d like your help.”

Start with small requests like these.

🌱 Relying on others is not being dependent

Some people might think,

“I feel bad relying on others.”

But we don't live our lives entirely alone.

・Having someone teach you things you don't understand,

・Having someone help you with things you can't do,

・Having someone think things through with you.

Sometimes, you become able to do things by borrowing someone else's strength in this way.

And,

“I was able to do it when I relied on someone”

This experience also becomes an important part of building confidence.

🌱 'Being able to do it alone' isn't the only form of confidence

For example, suppose there was something you couldn't do at first without someone accompanying you.

At first,

“Doing it together”

↓

Next,

“Trying it while someone watches over me”

↓

After that,

“Asking only about the parts I don't understand”

↓

And then,

“Trying it on my own”

In this way, the things you can do alone might gradually increase.

You don't have to be able to do it alone from the start.

Things you achieved with someone's help are also a form of 'I did it.'

In fact, I believe that accumulating those 'I did it' moments is what leads to confidence.

🌱 It's okay to practice being dependent

If you aren't used to saying,

“I want your help,”

it might take courage at first.

So, it's okay not to make big requests right away.

“Could you pass me that?”

“Could you think about this with me for a moment?”

“I'm a little tired today, so I'd like your help.”

You can start with small acts of 'being dependent' like these.

And,

“It was okay to rely on someone,”

“They didn't dislike me,”

“They helped me.”

Gradually increase these experiences.

Then,

“It's okay to rely on others”
a sense of security might be born.

🌱 Confidence isn't just 'proof that you worked hard all by yourself'

When we talk about confidence, we sometimes think it means

"being able to do everything on your own."

But I don't think that's actually true.

Finding the help you need,

"I need help"

being able to say this. And when you don't understand something,

"Please teach me"

being able to say this. Being able to rely on someone to do things with you. And, even if it's with someone else's help,

"I did it"

accumulating the experience of saying this. That, too, is a wonderful strength.

🌱 Small Ways to Nurture Your Heart Starting Today

If you ever find yourself thinking,

"I can't do anything because I lack confidence,"

it's okay not to push yourself by thinking,

"I have to build my confidence."

First, try thinking,

"Maybe I'll try relying on someone."

And if it seems possible, try asking for just one thing. - Rely on someone. - Get some help. - Do it together. That is perfectly fine. And when you succeed, tell yourself,

"I couldn't do it alone, but I did it today."

and tell yourself that.

🌸 What It Means to Value Yourself

You are not a person without value if you cannot do everything on your own.

Relying on someone does not make you a weak person.

Depending on others does not make you a failure.

You are enough just as you are.

It is okay to ask for help.
It is okay to be supported.
It is okay to do things together.

If there is something you find difficult to do alone right now,

instead of blaming yourself by saying, 'I can't do it,'

try to think,

'If I borrow someone's strength, I might be able to do it.'

Please try thinking that way.

And please cherish those small

'I did it'

moments.

Confidence is not something you force out from within your heart;

'I tried relying on someone,'

'I tried doing it,'

'I did it.'

It may be something that grows little by little from the accumulation of such small experiences🌱

It is okay if there are days when you cannot try your best alone.

There is also a path for you to move forward while borrowing someone else's strength.

Taking care of yourself also means not carrying everything on your own shoulders🌸