2025/09/22 Two Weeks into the Allowance Rules: Nurturing the Power to Choose and Continue

2025/09/22

The morning air feels cool against my skin.
I felt the beginning of autumn in the light streaming through the clear sky.

After taking a deep breath, I consult with my heavy body and proceed with the chores one by one.

“Tomorrow is a day off. Tomorrow is a day off.”
I tell myself this like a spell.

The joy of receiving the long-awaited new rice from my parents' home in the evening was exceptional.

With this gift from my distant hometown, gratitude for the producers and the seasonal bounty fills my heart.

The children's declaration and excitement

My eldest daughter declared to the family with a serious expression, “I’m going to try out for the school music recital accompaniment!”

Even though she was quite passive about piano competition auditions, I am surprised to see her strangely eager for the school stage.

“There are many rivals, but I want to do my best.”

Hearing those words, I realize that the spark of motivation changes depending on the situation.

Watching her sister, my second daughter frolics, saying, “Tomorrow is a day off♪,” and the number of animal illustrations on her desk grows.
The spark for her seems to be on a completely different dimension.

Changes and concerns brought about by the allowance rules

The point-based allowance system we started two weeks ago.

This limited-time allowance rule began with my eldest daughter saying, “I want to save 10,000 yen by the time we go on our trip!”

What my husband and I were worried about was the anxiety that “I don’t want them to become people who can’t move without a reward.”

That is why, in our own family way, we have made a few adjustments.

The words that actually came from the children were,

exchanges between the sisters like, “I wanted to do that chore!”

And negotiations like, “It wasn’t a perfect score, but I was first, so I want you to count it.”

It’s a little different from the blatant “reward-seeking” remarks I had anticipated. Unexpectedly,a positive competitive spiritandan attitude of finding creative ways to helpwere visible.

However, the concern about extrinsic motivation remains.
I want to avoid it becoming just a “reward system.”I realize once again that turning allowances into rules is difficult.

What I want to nurture is the “power to choose for oneself”

A month from now, I plan to have the children choose“chores they want to continue”and entrust them as roles I ask of them.
I am secretly planning this in consultation with my husband.

It is not simply about earning money, but because I want them to have the experience of“choosing and continuing for themselves.”And because I want them to take responsibility for it as their own “work” by choosing and continuing.

Just as my eldest daughter said she wanted to challenge herself for the piano accompaniment audition.

When you can continue what you have decided for yourself, your self-efficacy quietly and surely builds up. The realization that you were useful to someone will surely lead to the next step.

Nurturing the ability to continue “what you have decided” even without a reward is also a goal of mine.

I want to cherish the current allowance rules as a stepping stone to that future.

When does your child show the most motivation?

I hope we can warmly watch over our children’s growth while finding a balance between external stimulation and internal motivation.

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　With a timetable and a notebook, create some mental space first...

▶︎ Rather than the result, the fact that they challenged themselves makes children stronger.

▶︎ Preparing is handing peace of mind to your future self!

Please feel free to check out whatever interests you♪

Thank you so much
for reading today as well.

I am truly grateful for your presence
in reading this far.

There isn't just one right answer.
At a pace that is comfortable for you, little by little.

Tomorrow, too, without pushing yourself, carefully.
Let’s live our lives with care.
Well then, see you again!