🔑 The Second Door | Is 'My Ideal' Really My Own?

📖 Reading time: approx. 10 minutes
✍️ Exercise: approx. 10-15 minutes
📅 Last updated: July 30, 2026

🌿 Introduction

Thank you for choosing to spend this time here today.

This is

not a place to look for someone else's correct answer.

It is a time to

cherish how you personally feel.

Last time,

'There was a reason why I compare myself to others.'

We looked at that together.

The pain of comparing yourself to others

is not because you are weak.

It is because your heart

was trying to protect you.

Today,

we will take one more step deeper into that.

We all

'want to be like this.'

We have ideals.

But,

Is that ideal,

truly your own desire?

Or is it,

to be loved by someone?

To be acknowledged?

To avoid being disliked?

Is that how your ideal was born?

Today,

to that ideal,

we will gently pose a question.

🌬 The present moment is everything

Sit in a comfortable position.
You may close your eyes slowly, or you don't have to.
First,

let's try exhaling deeply.
Feel the tension in your body,

gradually fading away.
Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds.

Hold for 2 seconds.
Exhale slowly,
over 8 seconds.
Repeat this breathing 3 times.

Once your breathing is steady,

gently place your hand on your chest.
And then,

slowly, three times,
try chanting it.
**"The present moment is everything."**

**"The present moment is everything."**
**"The present moment is everything."**

For just a little while,
spend some quiet time.

Right now,
what are you feeling?

Let's cherish that way of feeling,
today as well.

🌿 Where did your ideals come from?

When you were a child.

"You're such a good child."

It made you happy to be told that.

You were praised for getting good grades on tests.

Adults felt relieved when you endured things.

You weren't scolded when you read the room.

Our hearts remember

those small events quite well.

And,

we learn little by little.

If I try harder, I will be loved.

If I am kinder, I won't be disliked.

If I do things properly, I will be accepted.

Back then,

that was enough.

Because it was a necessary lesson

for survival.

But,

now that we are adults,

if we are still living by those old rules,

feeling a little bit of pain

might just be natural.

🌿 Why does it hurt more as I get closer to my ideal?

Just for a moment,

try to remember.

'I want to be thinner.'

"I want to earn more."

"I want to be kinder."

"I want to be a proper person."

When you think of those ideals,

how does your body feel?

What kind of sensation is it?

Does your chest feel tight?

Is there tension in your shoulders?

Is your breathing becoming shallow?

Do you feel anxious?

Do you feel like you have to hurry?

If,

you feel that way,

those ideals,

might not have been born to set you free,

but rather to make you push yourself harder.

The ideals themselves are not bad.

However,

ideals that come with suffering,

often hide a voice of the heart that you have yet to discover.

🌿 What kind of voice lies behind your ideal?

For example,

I want to be thinner.

Deep down,

If I am fat, I will not be loved.

There might be a voice like that.

I want to earn more money.

Deep down,

If I cannot earn money, I have no value.

There might be a voice like that.

I want to be a proper person.

Deep down,

If I am not proper, I will not be accepted.

There might be a voice like that.

An ideal is,

a word that aims for the future.

However,

deep down,

a heart wounded in the past,

may be quietly hiding.

So today,

instead of chasing ideals,

I am going to meet the you who lies beneath them.

✍️ Today's Exercise

Today,

this is not an exercise in writing down your ideals.

It is an exercise to discover the true nature of your ideals.

Please prepare a notebook.

STEP 1 | Write down everything you want to become

Just as they come to mind,

please write them down.

I want to be a kinder person.

I want to be thinner.

I want to be someone who earns more money.

I want to be someone who isn't disliked.

I want to be a proper person.

You don't need to worry about the number.

Whatever comes to your heart,

please write it down just as it is.

STEP 2 | Send a question to those ideals

We will look at them one by one.

For example,

I want to be a kinder person.

Please write next to it:

Am I no good if I'm not kind?

I want to earn more money.

Am I worthless if I can't earn money?

I want to lose weight.

Will I not be loved if I am fat?

For all of these,

there is no need to write the correct answer.

Just,

please cherish what your body feels.

My chest feels tight.

I feel like crying.

I feel nothing.

No matter how you feel,

it is an important sign.

STEP 3 | When was that ideal born?

Take the ideal that moved your heart the most,

Please choose only one.

And then,

quietly ask yourself.

When,

did I,

start thinking that way?

Was it at school?

Was it at home?

Was it at work?

What was I,

feeling back then?

I wanted to be acknowledged.

I wanted to be praised.

I wanted to feel secure.

I was sad.

I was lonely.

Please write down whatever comes to mind,

just as it is in your notebook.

STEP 4 | 'Is that really true?'

Finally,

Read that ideal over once more.

And then,

underneath it,

write quietly.

"Is that really true?"

The answer won't come immediately.

The goal for today,

is not to find an answer.

It is to live with the question.

That question,

will,

little by little, set you free.

🌙 What the second door wanted to convey

Having an ideal,

is not a bad thing.

However,

if that ideal,

is causing you pain,

it is okay,

to stop for a moment.

Is that ideal,

truly your own wish?

Or is it,

something you adopted,

in order to be loved,

or to be accepted?

Today,

if,

you could notice that difference even a little,

you are already,

no longer living someone else's life,

but have begun taking a step back toward your own.

🌱 The Week Ahead

This week,

when thoughts like 'I have to do this,' or 'I have to try harder,' come to mind,

it is okay not to push yourself right away.

First,

open your notebook,

and write down what you are feeling right now.

Just that is enough.

Please try writing that phrase down in just one line.

And then,

underneath it,

I will quietly pose a question.

'Is that really true?'

It is okay if you cannot write an answer.

Writing in a notebook,

is not for finding answers.

It is to make,

the way you feel visible.

That accumulation,

little by little,

even in your daily life,

will nurture the ability to notice how you feel.

🌱 Next, to the third door

At the next door,

we will go to meet the deeper voice of your heart,

that lay behind the ideal you found today.

'I have no value.'

That voice,

Is it truly your own voice?

Today, too,

to you,

I deliver just one question.

'Is that really so?'

To that question,

there is no right answer.

That is precisely why,

the way you feel,

please continue to cherish it.

Well then,

let us meet at the third door.

With heartfelt gratitude.

Yukiyo 🌿