๐ The 10th Door | "That person hates me." ...Are you sure? -- What I felt and the story I created
๐ฟ Introduction
Thank you for choosing to spend this time here today as well.
This place is
not a place to look for someone else's correct answer.
It is a time to
cherish how you yourself feel.
On the journey so far,
you have gradually
become able to listen to the voice of your own heart.
The reason why you compare yourself to others.
The wish that lay deep within your emotions.
Your own unique happiness.
And,
reuniting with your past self.
If you are the one who has walked this far,
you may already be starting to realize.
That suffering
is not necessarily born from the events themselves.
Today,
about that,
It is time to feel with your own heart.
๐ฌ The here and now is everything
Sit in a comfortable position.
You can close your eyes slowly, or
it is fine if you do not.
First,
let's try exhaling for a long time.
Feel the tension in your body
gradually fading away.
Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds.
Hold for 2 seconds.
Over 8 seconds,
exhale slowly.
Repeat this breathing 3 times.
Once your breathing is steady,
gently place your hand on your chest.
And then,
slowly, 3 times,
let's chant it.
"The here and now is everything."
"The here and now is everything."
"The here and now is everything."
Right now,
what are you feeling?
It is okay if you feel nothing at all.
Let us cherish that way of feeling,
again today.
๐ฟ The heart reaches conclusions very quickly
A reply did not come from someone.
I did not get a greeting back.
A family member seemed a little grumpy.
When such things happen,
the heart immediately begins to move.
"Maybe I was hated."
"It was my fault."
"I failed again."
However,
before those words came to mind,
what were you feeling?
My chest tightened.
I felt lonely.
I felt anxious.
I felt sad.
I felt scared.
Perhaps,
what came first,
was not a thought,
but what I felt.
Today, too,
I will deliver just one question.
"Is that really true?"
๐ฟ After feeling, the heart creates a story
We,
when we feel something,
try to find the reason for it.
Why am I suffering?
Why am I sad?
And then,
the heart creates an answer.
"They must hate me."
"I am not being valued."
"I have no worth."
Was that answer,
something that really happened?
Or was it,
to keep from getting hurt,
a story that your heart worked so hard to create?
There is nothing wrong with that story.
It was,
the kindness of a heart that has been trying to protect you.
So,
today, instead of erasing that story,
let's go and meet,
the small feelings that were there before it.
๐ฟ What did the other person reflect back to you?
There are days when you are hurt by someone's words.
There are days when you look at someone,
and feel angry.
There are days when you look at someone,
and feel envious.
At times like that,
we are looking at the other person.
But,
just for a moment,
why not ask yourself as well?
What did I feel?
Why did,
this event,
move my heart so much?
It is not to blame the other person,
nor is it to blame yourself.
There are things that become visible through the other person.
What that person reflected,
might be,
feelings within you that have not yet been put into words.
Loneliness.
Sadness.
Fear.
Frustration.
"I want you to understand."
"I want to be acknowledged."
Such a small wish.
Rather than knowing the other person,
through that event,
knowing yourself.
That is,
today's door.
โ๏ธ Today's Work
Today,
this is not a work to change your way of thinking.
It is a work to return to what you felt.
Please prepare a notebook.
STEP 1 | Write down an event that moved your heart
Recently,
please recall one event that made your heart stir.
It does not have to be a big event.
Let's try writing down that event.
STEP 2 | What did I feel at that moment?
While recalling the event,
first, ask your body.
How did your chest feel?
How did your throat feel?
How did your stomach feel?
How did your shoulders feel?
And,
what was your heart feeling?
I felt lonely.
I felt sad.
I felt scared.
I felt frustrated.
I wanted to feel at ease.
No matter how small the sensation,
please write it down just as it is.
STEP 3 | After that, what did your heart say?
Next,
try writing down the words that came to mind after that emotion.
"I was hated."
"I am no good."
"I'm just..."
It is fine just as it came to mind.
It is okay not to deny it.
That might be,
not something you felt,
but words created by a heart that has been trying to protect you.
STEP 4 | Is that really true?
Finally,
while looking at those words,
ask yourself quietly.
"Is that really true?"
Is this,
something I felt?
Or is it,
something I thought?
Please try to feel,
that difference just a little.
There is no need to rush for an answer.
๐ What the 10th door wanted to convey
Today,
you,
did not try to change your way of thinking.
I didn't even try to be positive.
I just,
listened closely to,
what I was feeling.
We have,
learned to think,
before we feel.
That is why,
especially when things are painful,
inside our hearts,
many words come to mind.
But,
deep behind those words,
there is always,
the you who is feeling.
When you can notice that small voice,
little by little,
the distance to yourself begins to close.
When you thought you were looking at someone else,
the one you really wanted to meet was,
It was you yourself.
Things like that,
might also happen.
๐ฑ The week starting today
This week,
if your heart is moved by someone's words or attitude,
it is okay not to come up with an answer right away.
First,
try asking yourself.
"What am I feeling right now?"
And,
one more thing.
"What is this event teaching me about my own heart?"
It is fine if you cannot find an answer.
Holding that question,
little by little,
will take you,
to your own heart.
๐ฑ Next, to the 11th door
At the next door,
I will take another look at
the word "accept".
Does accepting mean
enduring something?
Does it mean giving up?
Or perhaps,
does it have a kinder meaning?
That answer, too,
is not something for someone else to teach you.
It lies within how you feel.
Today, too,
to you,
I deliver just one question.
"Is that really true?"
That question
is not meant to change anyone else.
It is a question for you
to feel yourself.
Well then,
I will see you at the 11th door.
With heartfelt gratitude.
Yukiyo ๐ฟ
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