Even if you are not praised, even if you are blamed. Your heart can return to its true place—108 Teachings from the Buddha, Episode 77

Introduction

Every event in life is a world reflected by your own heart.

Hello.
To help your heart become calm and happy.
I am Yukiyo-chan, here to help you gently untie the knots in your heart🌿

Today, too, based on one of the Buddha's teachings,
I bring you a moment to quietly connect with your heart.

✨ Today's Teaching

🌿 "Please contact us every day"—A world where only "correctness" remains

Regarding my daughter's school refusal,
the school told me, "Please be sure to contact us every morning for attendance."

At first, I was surprised.
"Contacting us every day for a child whose heart is struggling?"
"Who is going to bear that burden?"
"Are they really looking at the 'child's heart'?"

Somewhere in my mind, such a voice spoke quietly.

But the other party is operating based on a "system".
There is no malice there, just a "rule" in place.

In that moment, today's words from the Buddha flowed into my heart.

🍃 People are "both praised and blamed"

What the Buddha wanted to say was,

that "a life where one is never blamed and never praised does not exist."

No matter how correctly you behave,
no matter how carefully you live,
no matter how much heart you put into things.

Someone will call you "correct,"
and someone will call you "wrong."

I do not intend to be a "perfect mother."

I just stop and pause with my son or daughter when they are suffering,
asking, "Is that really so?"

As a result, that takes the form of "waiting."

The heart is not moved by evaluation.
It moves at the child's own pace.

🕊 When you are bound by being 'right,' your heart becomes burdened.

School systems and teachers alike
operate within rules designed to ensure they 'do not make mistakes.'

However, children are moved by emotions rather than rules.
This is true for adults as well, isn't it?

There are days when you cannot wake up in the morning.
There are days when your heart feels too heavy to move.

There are days when you simply cannot head to school while tears are still falling.

When you force that into a framework of 'correctness,'
it is the child's heart that suffers the most.

🌱 The 'unwavering axis' the Buddha teaches us

The Buddha continues by saying this:

People grow while being praised or blamed.
That is precisely why you must place your axis within yourself.

'External evaluation' is like a wave.
'Internal feeling' is like the earth.

If you stand in sync with the waves, you will keep swaying forever.
If you plant your feet on the earth, you can breathe deeply and quietly.

What I have been thinking about a lot lately is

that I would rather be 'an adult who can trust a child's heart' than 'a correct mother.'
That is what I want to be.

There is no single right answer to events,
but there is always meaning in the direction the child's heart is facing.

🌕 I just stood still with my daughter until her heart was ready to move

Even when she stopped going to school,
I could not rush her.

Instead of asking, 'Why can't you go?'
'What is painful for you right now?'
'It's okay to go at your own pace.'
That was all I could do to be close to her heart.

There may be days when people call that 'being too soft.'

But you know,

as the Buddha says,
we all have days when we are praised and days when we are blamed.

Both will pass like a passing shower.

All that remains is that child's heart and the way of being I have chosen.

💫 Finally—it is okay to live outside of evaluation

How did you receive
today's words from the Buddha?

It is okay not to be praised.
It is okay to be blamed.

Everyone lives while swaying.
And that swaying is proof that you are a person who can 'feel'.

There is no need to live in accordance with outside voices.
Your heart can return to your own place.

May your heart
feel a little lighter today.
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