Acceptance is Not Giving Up—Why I Think So
As I grow older, I have recently noticed that my envy and jealousy toward others have faded away.
“I am glad to be who I am” is something I have come to truly feel from the bottom of my heart.
I am by no means a person with strong self-love.
And I am neither a narcissist nor a confident person. If anything, my self-esteem is low.
I am not so fulfilled that I can shout, “I am happy now!” at the top of my lungs. In fact, there are more moments when I feel that life is an ascetic practice.
Even so, why is it that I can think, “I am glad to be who I am”?
When I was young, I certainly did envy others.
“If I had been raised in a bilingual environment like that person, life would be a breeze” or “
I wish I had a small face like hers,” haha. These are all just the “visible parts” from the outside.
Eventually, with age, I came to understand.
That everyone’s life has its ups and downs, and the reality that it is impossible to become someone else .
Now that I have accepted such realities, I have almost no envy or jealousy.
Above all, envying someone else is also a denial of the choices I made in the past.
That said, I haven’t reached enlightenment myself.
Furthermore, I am still greedy when it comes to happiness.
I always think that if I can reach the end of my life with life being plus-minus zero, it would be a great success, but now that negative emotions are at the forefront, I am hoping that things will somehow turn positive.
While I deeply empathize with the Buddhist concept of “impermanence,” there is also a worldly part of me that pursues happiness to the very end.
After all, accepting is not the same as giving up.
While accepting who I am now, I will continue to pursue things to the fullest.
That is what “acceptance” means to me.