The Void of an All-Boys School

This is a story about a certain man.

It was early afternoon on the Tobu Kameido Line.
The two-car train, used only by locals, was surprisingly crowded with families and students.
Amidst the gentle atmosphere created by passengers who shared a similar vibe—typical of a local line—a conversation between high school girls broke out. I didn't hear what they were talking about. The important thing wasn't the content, but the situation. I realized something.

I have

never heard a conversation between girls.

Hello.
This is Iwanaga from Lip Grip.

Are you all listening to other people's "conversations"?
It doesn't matter if it's in the middle of the city or a scene from a work of fiction. Are you listening to other people's "conversations"?
Are you listening to the importance of the content? Or are you listening to "who is speaking"?

I assert this: the content of a conversation no longer matters at all.
What matters is "who is speaking." And, "what kind of voice they are speaking with."
Watching the game of catch that is a conversation between strangers, I have no interest in the technique. I'm not even looking at the ball.I'm looking at the people throwing and catching.
In the age of social media, an age where everything becomes text, the value in conversation is the "voice." It's not about whether a voice actor's voice is good or anything like that; it's the "raw" "voice." There is a reason why I am so obsessed with this.

I attended an all-boys school in Kanagawa.
"All-boys school," also known as "Naraka" (hell) in Sanskrit, is a place in Buddhist terminology located between the Reviving Hell and the Black Rope Hell, where those who committed irreparable sins in their past lives are gathered.
When I was in this hell, the damned souls gathered in the same layer of hell were stripped of their wisdom, unable to speak properly, and endured the torments of hell with nonsensical conversations like "Ran Ran Ru," "Eirin," and "The shijimi clams are doing their best at tururu."

This hell was unusual in that salvation would come at a certain time. After passing grueling exams, I began attending a facility called a "university." And then, at a time when I had forgotten about the all-boys school, I realized a certain void in myself.

"Listening to a conversation between girls" is "a lifelong void that I will never be able to experience."

A common worry for those from all-boys schools is that they "can't talk to women well," but that is a problem that can be solved someday. It can be managed through effort or environment.
On the other hand, you cannot "listen to a conversation between girls." Not "women," but "girls." Before recognizing "society" and "the other," it is the "girl" when a human who has developed an ego called "individual" is called a "child."
To put it simply, it is a "girl" who is not conscious of the "public" such as "adults" or "work."
I hate brats, and as a type, I like mature people. Regardless of gender, I like people with mature thoughts.
I view the "impurities" and "fatigue" that fall upon me by living in this society favorably, but those pure people who don't know such "necessary things" for living, who are positive—or to put it nicely, innocent, and to put it badly, selfish and naive—they certainly have a radiance.
That radiance should not mingle with impure people like me, or tired adults. It's like, the "art style" is different. In the sense that the type of manga they are published in is different, the world they live in is different. The worldview is different.

When I realized that I would never mingle with such untainted people, I felt keenly that I would never again, and never in my life, hear a conversation between girls.

There is no loss in that. However, when I happen to hear that sound on a train like at the beginning, I get the feeling that a J-POP song I don't like, themed around youth, is playing in my brain. "Lost distant memories" overflow from behind my eyes and fill my field of vision.

The difficult thing about this is that it can't be the voice of a child actor, it can't be the voice of an idol, and the voice of a voice actor won't do either. The "professionalized," core-filled, technical part of the flirtation in these voices brings me back to my senses. A "good voice" won't do; I want to hear a conversation between girls who have no technique, happening in the middle of a crowd, where you can barely hear it and the sound of cicadas is mixed in as noise.

I'm fixated on girls, but of course, conversations between boys are also wonderful. It's just that I've heard boys' conversations before, so it's just nostalgic. I want to hear conversations between girls in the sense that I want to hear something I've "never heard before." For example, I don't mind if there are boys in there.
If I were to be greedy and say the one thing I want to hear most, it would be two boys and one girl in uniforms, and if that girl had a guitar case or something on her back, I'd want to book a studio and record them. I want you to put me in as the mixer. I want to keep the volume of the conversation at MAX and keep giving cues from the next room forever.
I also want a group of one boy and two girls studying to be near me forever. I want to be the red plastic sheet for memorization that the three of them use, and listen to their conversation forever. You don't need to study; you should just keep talking.

Such a desire to "hear a conversation between girls" has, at some point, turned me into a monster. What I am thinking most strongly right now is, "I want to hear a girl sneeze."

I wouldn't mind losing about 20 years of my life, so can't something be done?
A girl's sneeze does not exist in "society."
Sneezing gets dirtier with age. The more you breathe in this society, the more your lungs and trachea are dirtied by stress, morals, and common sense along with oxygen, and the sneeze that comes out overflows with sighs and fatigue, making a loud noise. The sound grows in proportion to your pride, and the desire to hide or suppress it disappears. A sneeze like "kuchun," like the chirping of a bull-headed shrike, is a sound lost in the society I live in.
In the first place, there is no opportunity to hear a woman's sneeze. It is cut in the media. You can't hear it on variety shows, and sneezing is NG in dramas and anime. That is why the "sneezing is helpful" comment to a Vtuber is a "sneezing is helpful" typed in earnest by a damned soul like us who has graduated from hell.
The real intention is: "Thank you for sneezing. I have gratitude, emotion, and other feelings that I cannot convey, enough to want to send a red Super Chat, but by sending a Super Chat here, if the Vtuber's raw sneeze becomes a professional sneeze for profit linked to money, it would avoid the 'spilled out' feeling that is our original purpose, so I will use these words instead of a Super Chat to express my gratitude and support. 'Sneezing is helpful.'"
A sneeze like sunlight filtering through trees. A sneeze like a spring. Hearing that might not be in my life anymore.
I know that trying to go hear this is already a crime. So I gave up. I just don't want the next generation, the future generation, to have the same feelings as me. It's too late to realize it after you've lost it.

Young boy. Young you.
Don't wear earphones in the city.
Listen to your neighbors on the commute to school at the same time.
Listen to the faint sounds, sharpen your senses.
The now you are living in is a now where it is okay to listen to girls' conversations.
Feel the girls' conversations you can hear with your whole body.
Don't stop the sound. Don't call out to them. The place you are in is a concert hall. All you can do is close your eyes and carve that sound into your soul.
Cut off information from your eyes, and just listen to all of that sound. More than any rock or pop you are listening to, more than any classical music whose goodness you haven't realized yet, the sound played by that girl's conversation is noble, sacred, and solemn.

Young boy. Young you.
Stop studying and go to a prep school to take a mock exam. Stop your club activities and go to a prep school to take a mock exam.
Listen to the girl's sneeze that breaks that silence. Shudder at a sneeze from someone you don't know, someone you don't even know who did it.
Do not trace the source of that sound. Do not approach and create a relationship. Because it is a sneeze from a girl you don't know, that sound, in the shape of a sound, will continue to ring inside you.
You are young. Youth is hope. But do not be satisfied. Satisfaction is not hope. Craving is hope.
Do not fall in love. Do not be fulfilled. But there is no need to lose. To keep having hope, getting the treasures you can get now is something only you can do now.
You are young. You are incomplete. Incompleteness is hope. You are not a prosperous kingdom, but a meadow and a desert. The sunlight filtering through the trees that pours onto that land is the girls' conversation, and the wind blowing through is the girls' sneeze.
Do not be fulfilled. Do not fall in love. Do not share your body. Don't be popular, because it's annoying.
Just be a young tree burning with hope. Get the girls' conversation and sneeze that I, who have grown old and can no longer return, wanted so much that I shuddered. With just that, you are more fulfilled than me. You can be richer than me. You can gain richness of heart, not money or fame.

I want to hear a sneeze. Can someone tell me a video where I can hear a cute sneeze?