Day 07 Promise | The Future of Mine You Were Protecting

"I want you to outlive me."

I cannot remember the day my husband first said that to me.
For me at the time, it was a wish so heavy that I felt like I would run away if I took it head-on.

My husband lost his lover to suicide caused by depression.
So, it was not hard to imagine why he wished for that.

Even so, he chose to live with me, someone suffering from bipolar disorder.
How much courage must that have taken?

When I finally became truly healthy after living in this house for over five years, and was able to confidently vow to "outlive you," I wonder how relieved he must have felt.

To you, who waited for me all that time without a single complaint or word of resentment, even when I couldn't immediately nod to your wish, I want to make a promise.

I will not choose to die and leave you behind.
No one knows if they will be alive tomorrow, but I will live each day with care, aiming for the final day when I see you off.

For an impatient person like me, that alone is no longer enough; I'm even getting greedy and wanting to make you happy, so I'm sure I can fulfill it.

Holding the future of mine that you were protecting, this time, within my own heart.

I am participating in Rin Kiki's project!

#noteDeNoelLetter