Day 15 Calm | Even if Bipolar Disorder Becomes a Thing of the Past

"I used to have bipolar disorder, too."
Seeing someone say that, I once tilted my head, wondering, "What does that mean? Isn't it still the case now?"

The reality is simple: that person was in a state of "complete remission," having had no symptoms of mania or depression for over two months, which is why they could speak of bipolar disorder in the past tense.

In a little less than a month, I, too, will be able to reach complete remission.
Even if I don't reach it, I have reached a state where complete remission is in sight. I will no longer give up on "myself being able to get along well with bipolar disorder."

In truth, I don't know if I will consider bipolar disorder a thing of the past once I reach complete remission. I won't be stopping my medication, and in the sense that I never know when it might recur, bipolar disorder is still a "lifelong condition."

But right now, I feel very calm.
I know that this lull is not eternal. That is precisely why I also know that the storm will eventually pass.

Sometimes, the wind blows. It ripples the surface of my heart.
I watch the color of the sky and the shapes of the clouds reflected there, the birds crossing by, and the shadows of fallen stars.

Perhaps calmness is not a state with little change, but rather a sensitivity that allows me to respond softly to any change and accept the world that surrounds me.

I am participating in Rin Kiki's project!

#noteDeNoelLetter