Impatience is a 'Growing Pain': A Prescription for Days When You Feel Down Comparing Yourself to Others

Hello!
My name is Shino Ito!

When you open social media, reports of someone's success appear.
"I published a book," "I broke through 00 million in annual sales," "I have 000,000 followers."

The moment I see that, a ripple of unease runs deep in my chest.
The part of me that thinks, "That's amazing," and the part of me that sinks, "I'm no good anyway," appear at the same time.
Impatience and self-denial arrive together.
Don't you have moments like that?

First of all, I want to say that comparing yourself to others is a natural human thing to do.
In the process of evolution, we are programmed to "know our position by comparing ourselves to others."
So, there is no need to blame yourself for the act of comparing.

The problem is not the comparison itself, but

how you treat yourself after you compare


.

In times like these, I thought psychologist Carol Dweck's "two mindsets" would be helpful.
・Fixed mindset: Thinking that ability is determined at birth.

・Growth mindset: Thinking that ability can be developed through effort and experience.
For example, when seeing the success of those around them, people with a fixed mindset think like this:
"That person has talent. I am different."
On the other hand, people with a growth mindset think like this:

"If that person could get that far, maybe I can get closer with effort."
Even with the same event, the shape of the future changes depending on your



perception


in your heart.

Impatience and jealousy are actually signs that are close to "what you truly desire."
For example, reacting strongly to someone's success is because you see


the version of yourself you wanted to become

in that person.
In other words, hidden behind the impatience is the wish, "I actually want to go to that world too."Instead of denying that, just by acknowledging, "I see, I wanted to aim for that too," impatience changes fromthe pain of comparison


into


energy for growth

.

3 tips for living with a growth mindset

① Add the wordyetto rephrase.
"I can't do it" → "I can't do it yet"
Just by doing this, room for growth is created.

② View failure asdata.
Failure is not "proof that you aren't suited for it," but "a discovery of the next point for improvement."
③ View others' success as

a map of the journey.View the person you envy not as

a triggerbut asteaching material.Try observing, "What kind of process did they go through to get there?"

Feeling impatient is proof that you have the will to "want to grow more" inside you.
Instead of feeling, "I am no good," try accepting that pain as


growing pains

that you feel because you are still growing.The success of those around you might not be a sign of yourend
, but a light that illuminates your


future.

Thank you for reading until the end!