Having 'a sense of self' is different from not listening to others' opinions

Was it yesterday?
I happened to be scrolling through Instagram when a video of a former major leaguer, whom Japanese people are proud of, popped up, and he was talking about 'self-affirmation'.

I often use the term 'self-affirmation' myself, and it is a trend to value this, isn't it?
I was struck by a comment made in response to that.

According to him,
I have resistance to the term self-affirmation.
Doesn't having high self-affirmation prevent one from developing depth as a person?
Humans are weak creatures, so we tend to fall into corruption.
We aren't denied or pointed out by those around us.
When that happens, we cannot reflect on ourselves.
The worst thing is someone who thinks they are great and correct.

That was what he said.

As expected of someone who is a bundle of self-improvement,
those are words overflowing with that ambition.
Strong.
I think he is a strong person.
Everyone wants to be like this.

I am one of those who was moved by it, but I wondered how others who saw this would feel.
Many comments were posted on this video, and when I took a quick look at them, there were, as expected, pros and cons (lol).

Many of the voices among them that resonated were about
the misunderstanding of the term 'self-affirmation'. The problem of definition.

Self-affirmation is about whether you can acknowledge yourself,
and it does not mean having a low bar, a low passing grade, or not listening to what others have to say.

A little differently,
comments were also written about the classifications of 'self-acceptance' and 'self-transcendence'.

In other words, if we dig a little deeper into what this great person is saying,
it probably means that self-affirmation and self-satisfaction, where you just go easy on yourself, soothe yourself, and comfort yourself, are no good.

On the other hand,
it means listening to what others have to say, including criticism and denial, and reflecting on yourself.
It means trial and error to improve even a little.
I think he is talking about that kind of step-up, that self-transcendence.

It seems like mere wordplay, but
what I thought when watching this video was that this person, who has put in so much effort, feels that he is able to affirm himself more than anything else.
Having gone around in circles, I think it's amazing.

Although my article is quite trivial, I also remembered that I had written something like this before.

Also,
the fact that I got hung up on this and decided to write today's article seems to continue from the article I wrote yesterday.

On one hand,
don't get discouraged no matter what is said to you.
Don't worry about what people around you say.
Believe in yourself!

On the other hand,
accept diversity.
Accept every appearance and form.

Hmm,
listening to both sides, I somehow don't feel clear.

Well, I suppose all of this is just wordplay.
Or perhaps it is just superficial talk.

Returning to the title of today's article.

I think both the first part and the latter part of the discussion lead to the same place.

That having 'a sense of self' and
'not listening to others' are different things.

I think it is better to listen to what people have to say.
I think it is fine to disagree even after listening,
and I think it is necessary to organize things so that if there are ten points, you might empathize with one.

In a sense, I think that is what it means to have a sense of self.

I have also been sharing my thoughts and working publicly for many years, so while I don't hear backhanded comments, I am often told various opinions, criticisms, and complaints.

I am a very timid person, so if there is even just one such voice, I worry about it a lot and feel hurt... it is a repeating cycle, but
conversely, I think that even in that one voice, there might be something hidden that could help me improve.

It is like, even if I let it go after it reaches my ears, it has still reached my ears.

The 'power to listen' was a topic of conversation at one point, wasn't it?

If you listen to a wide variety of opinions, nothing will ever move forward.
You end up moving forward with the worst possible decision-making method: majority rule.
Naturally, a wide variety of complaints will arise.
As a result, it becomes a vicious cycle where you can no longer bear to listen.

I can understand this phenomenon, but
first, listen and accept.
Then, break it down into factors and build a consensus.
I think that kind of process is important.

To have a strong sense of self,
to be able to improve even a little,
I want to be someone who can listen to others,
I thought once again.

Thank you for reading today as well.

The illustration at the beginning is used with permission from Gorakunaimi | note. Thank you very much.

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