Falling into an Endless Night

Sweet lies and twisted love

The road at night after the rain was cold and clear, as if it could wash away even the mud that had accumulated deep in my chest.
Every time the drizzle, not even heavy enough to warrant an umbrella, pricked my cheeks like fine needles, I turned my face away unconsciously.
The light of the streetlamps bleeding onto the cobblestones looked terribly distorted tonight, even though I should have been used to it.

The light leaking from the school windows felt somehow distant.
Every time I walked quickly through the deserted hallway, only my footsteps echoed coldly, and a sense of loneliness filled my chest.
I just came to pick up something I forgot.
Even though that was all, why did I feel so helpless?

At that moment, a voice suddenly descended from behind me.
Low, soft, and sounding as if it were sweetly caressing my ear, I turned around reflexively.
“Out so late, all alone?”
The man standing there was wrapped in a black coat, his presence as if he were about to melt into the veil of night.
Yet, only his eyes reflected the streetlamp, looking strangely cold and bright.

I was too surprised to even speak, and he smiled at me.
That smile was so gentle that my heart pounded painfully.
“The night road is dangerous. Shall I walk you home?”
The invitation was so natural that the option to refuse didn't even cross my mind.
Before I knew it, I was nodding slightly.

This is strange, it wasn't supposed to be like this.
I should be more cautious, but just being stared at by those eyes made my legs go weak.
The feeling that I was dreaming somewhere made my chest churn.
—If only this hand weren't a lie.
I must be crazy to even think that for a fleeting moment.

Every time I walked beside him, I was struck by the feeling that my feet weren't touching the ground.
The night wind was terribly cold, yet my cheeks were burning uncontrollably.
When I suddenly turned my gaze to the side, he was smiling gently.
His face was so kind that it made my chest tighten.

“Won't you tell me your name?”
The words were so soft that I couldn't find a reason to refuse.
Before I knew it, I was whispering my name in a raspy voice.
As if ruminating on it, he nodded slightly.

“What a lovely name. ...I want to talk more.”
His voice was sweet, and every time it touched my ears, my consciousness wavered.
Before I knew it, my breathing had become shallow.
Why is my heart fluttering so much?

“I also... want to be with you... more...”
Every time I said it in a trembling voice, something ached deep in my chest.
He smiled contentedly at those words and gently stroked my hair.
His palm was terribly cold, yet it felt comfortable.
—Because I had never been treated this kindly before.
That is exactly why I am even more afraid.
As if that kindness were a trap.

When I hugged my shoulders against the cold, he draped his coat over me without hesitation.
The gesture was so natural that it made my chest ache.
The soft, high-quality fabric and the faint, sweet scent.
That alone made my heartbeat quicken.

“Are you cold? Here, come a little closer.”
Every time his low, whispering voice touched my ears, my spine shivered.
I couldn't resist those words, and before I knew it, I was clinging to his arm.
This is strange, it wasn't supposed to be like this.

“Is this... not a bother...”
When I tried to deny it in a raspy voice, he smiled faintly.
His eyes were somewhat cold, yet gentle, and bottomless.

“It's no bother at all. In fact, I want you to rely on me more.”
At that sweet voice, my heart blurred as if it were melting.
—No, I mustn't believe him.
Even though that warning bell was ringing deep in my chest, I couldn't let go of his hand.

Like the poisoned apple in a fairy tale I heard somewhere.
Sweet, fragrant, and yet with poison at the bottom.
Even so, the reason I can't let go of that hand is surely because I am weak.
Because I've never been treated this kindly, I want to believe it.

Our own time walking side by side on the night road.
Every time we were illuminated by a streetlamp, his profile emerged faintly.
His softly smiling face was so gentle that it seemed somewhat artificial.

—Is it really okay to be treated this kindly?
Every time anxiety churned deep in my chest, he would gently reach out.
A warm, enveloping palm.
The moment I touched that hand, my heart leaped, and my breathing became shallow.

At the moment of parting, he suddenly stopped.
To me, looking up in surprise, he was smiling calmly.
However, his eyes were shining with a somewhat cold light.

“Will you keep me company for a little while?”
Every time he whispered sweetly, my feet moved naturally.
As I was led into a deserted alleyway, he let out a soft sigh.
And then, he slowly brought his face closer—

“Kneel”
A voice low, calm, and irresistibly strong.
The moment I heard those words, my mind went blank.
Without being able to keep up with the understanding, my knees naturally buckled.

The cold cobblestones felt chilly through my thin skirt.
When I looked up in surprise, he gave a soft laugh and gently stroked my hair.
He is gentle, yet terribly controlling, and I cannot even run away.

“...Why?”
As I asked in a raspy voice, he whispered with a smile still on his face.
“Good girl.”
A voice that was sweet, low, and felt like it was caressing my ear.
Those words made my chest burn with heat.

Within my field of vision as I looked up from my knees, he was smiling with satisfaction.
His face was terribly gentle, yet somehow cold.
Even though my instincts told me it was dangerous, his words felt so comforting that I couldn't escape.

I must be losing my mind.
And yet, I want to hear those words even more.
Every time I am dominated by his sweet voice and gentle eyes, my head grows hazy.
I have to run away, I must.
Even though I think that, my knees are shaking and I cannot stand.

The moment his lips touched mine, a shiver ran down my spine.
It was soft and sweet, and my heart melted.
He smiled with satisfaction and whispered in my ear.

“Good girl. Stay just like that.”
Those words made my chest tighten.
My heart swayed unsteadily, and a sweet, bitter heat burned through my entire body.
I cannot resist, I do not want to resist.
I want to be dominated even more.

Even after returning home, his voice would not leave my ears.
“Kneel,” “Good girl.”
Every time those words repeated in my head, my chest ached sweetly.

I sank into my bed, clutching my smartphone with trembling fingers.
On the screen was a message from him.
“Thanks for today. I want to see you again soon.”
Short words. That alone was enough to fill my heart.

“...I must be losing my mind.”
Even when I muttered it in a raspy voice, the heat did not subside.
I want to be dominated more, even more.
Every time he whispers in that sweet voice and I kneel, it feels like my heart is melting.

This is wrong, this isn't love.
I know that.
But I cannot help but cling to that gentleness.
I want to be loved more, I want to be dominated more.
That whisper sounded terribly raspy and sad.

The next day, even during class, I would remember it at random moments.
The low voice saying “Kneel” and the sweet whisper of “Good girl.”
Every time those words returned to my ears, my face would grow hot and my chest would tighten.

It was as if his voice were whispering right in my ear.
I have no choice but to sink deeper and deeper into that sweet domination.
I have to resist, I have to run away, I think, but it is already too late.

Outside the classroom window, the blue sky feels so far away that it makes my chest ache.
I can no longer go back.
I have no choice but to fall, dominated by that sweet voice and those gentle eyes.

A False Smile

A cafe after school.
At a window seat, the sunset shines through the swaying curtains.
The scent of coffee, soft music, and a calm interior.
It was peaceful and warm, and usually, it would put my heart at ease.
But deep in my chest, I felt terribly restless, and my fingertips were cold.

Suddenly, the cafe door opened.
I looked up instinctively, and there he was.
My heart leaped, and my fingertips trembled.
I can finally see him. The moment I thought that, my breath stopped.

—Beside him was a woman I didn't know.
Lustrous hair and bold clothing.
The way she laughed provocatively and touched his arm familiarly.
The look on his face as he smiled happily.
It was just like when I was by his side.

The hand I clutched on my lap trembled coldly.
Deep in my chest, it hurt terribly, and my heartbeat was loud.
—Because he was supposed to be looking only at me.
He was supposed to be gentle only to me.

“...You're lying, right?”
My raspy voice reached no one.
In my trembling vision, he was laughing with the woman.
Her gestures were just as gentle as the ones he showed me.
His hand was just as soft as when he touched me.

I have to run away.
Even though I think that, my legs won't move.
That scene was burned into my eyes, and my mind went blank.
My knees were shaking, and I couldn't stand.
Like a doll that had lost its support, I felt like I was going to collapse.

He suddenly looked up.
In that moment, our eyes met.
He widened his eyes in surprise, then immediately smiled softly.
That smile was so gentle that it made my chest tighten.

But he said nothing and left the cafe with the woman.
His retreating figure looked as if I had never existed in the first place.
—It's a lie, it's a lie, it's a lie.
Even though I whispered it over and over in a raspy voice, the reality would not disappear.
In my tear-blurred vision, only his back grew smaller and further away.

I can't breathe.
Clutching my smartphone with trembling fingers, I could barely stand up.
The cold wind stung my cheeks, and I shivered through my thin coat.
I have to run.
Because if I keep watching like this, I feel like my heart will break.

The streetlights flickered, and my shadow stretched long on the ground.
On the night road where only my footsteps echoed, the beating of my heart was deafening.
My throat was terribly dry, and breathing was painful.
Why, why did it come to this?
The same words spun round and round in my head.

I opened my smartphone with trembling hands.
On the screen was a message from him.
"I'm busy today and can't meet you. Sorry."
Just those few words.
That alone gouged my heart deeply.

Because what I saw earlier wasn't an illusion.
Him, smiling gently while wrapping his arm around that woman's waist.
That person, showing a face I didn't know.

"…Liar…"
Every time I whispered it in a raspy voice, tears streamed down my cheeks.
But I couldn't confront him.
Because, what if he started to hate me?
Every time that thought crossed my mind, my knees trembled and I felt like I would collapse.

That night, my smartphone vibrated.
A call from him appeared on the screen.
My heart leaped, and my throat tightened.
Through the speaker, his sweet, low voice caressed my ears.

"What's wrong? Are you trembling?"
It was gentle, sweet, and made my heart melt.
—Maybe it really was just my imagination.
His voice was so soft and sweet that it made me think that.

"…It's nothing."
Every time I replied in a raspy voice, my chest tightened.
He gave a soft, sweet laugh.
That laughter was terribly gentle, yet bottomless.

"Really?"
The voice through the speaker was so soft, it melted into my ears.
—No, don't be fooled.
Even though I thought that, I couldn't help but want to cling to that voice.

"Stay"
A voice so low, sweet, and strong that I couldn't resist it even through the phone.
The moment I heard those words, my feet stopped.
Don't move.
His voice is too sweet; I can't leave anymore.

"Good girl. Just like that."
The sweet voice entwining in my ears was so comforting that it made my spine shiver.
No, I have to run. Even though I think that, the sweet voice is so comforting that I can't leave anymore.

"Look"
The voice through the phone was so sweet.
The moment I looked up, his icon appeared on the screen.
I felt like he was smiling on the other side, and my heart ached sweetly.

"You only need to look at me."
Every time those words melted sweetly into my ears, my chest grew heavy with pain.
This isn't love. This isn't love.
Even though I know that, I can no longer resist.

"…Yeah."
When I replied in a raspy voice, he laughed with satisfaction.
"That's right, good girl."
Those words were so sweet that my chest burned with heat.
—Even though I'm being controlled, I'm drowning in that sweetness.

The cold night wind stung my cheeks.
The streetlight flickered faintly, and the shadows of the buildings stretched long.
As I walked home on trembling legs, the depths of my chest ached terribly, and my breathing was shallow.
Deep in my ears, the sweet voice he whispered earlier echoed over and over.

"Stay"
The sweet voice whispered through the phone.
Unable to resist those words, I stood still as tears streamed down my cheeks.
"Good girl."
Those words, whispered with satisfaction, were so gentle that my chest felt sweetly numb.

—But, in truth, it's a lie.
Because he was laughing intimately with that woman, showing a face I didn't know.
Smiling gently, placing his hand on her waist, whispering sweetly.
That image is burned into my eyelids, and I can't stop the tears.

"…I don't want to believe it."
Every time I whispered it in a raspy voice, my throat felt terribly dry.
Because if I believed it, I would never be able to go back.
That those gentle words and warm hands were all a lie.
I can't bear such a reality.

My legs are trembling, I'm stumbling, and my vision is blurring.
My tears are swept away by the cold wind, and it feels terribly cold.
Even so, my feet naturally head toward the cafe.
What if, what if it was just a misunderstanding?
I want to think that, I want to cling to that sweet hope, so I turn back.

My chest hurts terribly.
The back of my throat burns with pain, and every time a tear rolls down my cheek, my chest tightens.
Because, what if that was a misunderstanding?
What if him laughing intimately with that woman was just an illusion?
If I don't think that, I feel like my heart will break.

——I have to check. I have to.
Because he told me, "I love you."
Because he whispered, "You're the only one," with that sweet voice and a gentle smile.
I don't want to believe that was a lie.

When I open the cafe door, there is soft light and the scent of coffee.
The warm air brushes against my cheeks, and my face, chilled by tears, slowly warms up.
I let my gaze wander, and my heart is pounding so loudly it's noisy.
——He was the only one there.

A seat by the window.
The woman is nowhere to be seen, and only he is smiling calmly.
My heart leaps, and my breath catches.
The scene I saw just a moment ago feels like an illusion, and my mind goes blank.

"H...uh...?"
My raspy voice trembled.
I can't believe the scene before my eyes, and I blink repeatedly.
Because I know I saw it just now.
The sight of him laughing with that woman and touching her gently.
But now, only he is there.

He suddenly looked up.
In that moment, our eyes met.
He widened his eyes in surprise, then immediately smiled gently.
That smile is so gentle that my chest tightens.

"...Good evening."
He smiles calmly and gently reaches out his hand.
His hand is warm, and I unconsciously interlace my fingers with his.
No, no. I shouldn't believe this.
Because I know I saw it just now.
But his hand is so gentle that my heart melts sweetly.

"...Um, just now..."
The moment I started to ask in a raspy voice, he gently covered my lips with his finger.
It's gentle, sweet, and irresistible.
"...You don't need to think."
Every time he whispers in my ear, my mind grows hazy.
His voice is so sweet, so irresistible, and even though I know I'm being controlled.

"Shush"
A low, soft, sweet voice.
The moment those words touch my ears, my mouth is covered.
The sweetness seeps deep into my throat, and I can't make a sound.

"Good girl."
He smiles with satisfaction and gently strokes my cheek.
His fingertips are terribly cold, yet comfortable, and I cannot resist.
No, this isn't love.
Even though I know that, his touch is too sweet, and I can no longer pull away.

"...Don't think about anything, just look at me."
Every time those words melt sweetly into my ears, my chest hurts terribly.
——I can't escape.
I have no choice but to fall deeper into his sweet voice and gentle hands.

A single tear falls.
Seeing that, he leans in and kisses me as if to wipe away the tear.
"Don't cry. ...See, you're a good girl."
Every time he whispers sweetly, my chest burns with heat.
Even though I'm being controlled, my heart is being filled with sweetness.

I can't go back anymore.
I have no choice but to sink deeper into his sweet voice and gentle fingertips.

Between truth and lies

Morning.
The sky outside the window is clear, and the sunlight streaming through the curtains is dazzling.
However, that light feels cold somehow, and the darkness clinging to the depths of my heart does not fade.
The moment I open my eyes, his sweet voice and gentle fingertips from last night flash back.

On the bed, while clutching his shirt, I open my smartphone with trembling fingers.
There is only one message from him on the screen.

"Thanks for yesterday. Let's meet again soon."
Just those few words.
But I can feel my heart being filled with sweetness just from that.
Every time I trace those letters with trembling fingers, I feel like I can't breathe.
——I am loved.
I want to believe that, so I desperately cling to those words.

But a cold voice is whispering in the corner of my mind.
The smile of that woman and the sight of him laughing intimately with her.
That scene is burned into the back of my eyelids and won't go away.
——If that wasn't a lie, what am I supposed to believe?

The anxiety aching sweetly in my chest and the lingering echo of his sweet voice are intertwined, making it hard to breathe.
The pillow I buried my face in still faintly retains his scent, which makes my chest tighten even more.
Because I don't want to believe it.
There's no way the man who smiled so gently and whispered so sweetly could be lying.
——I want to believe, I don't want to believe; I don't know which is my true feeling, and my head hurts.

“...I must be losing my mind...”
Even as I whisper it in a raspy voice, the heat doesn't fade.
I want to be loved more, even more.
Every time I think that, my chest aches terribly.
I don't care how much I'm controlled. Because losing his sweet voice is far more terrifying.

The hallway after school.
The sunset streaming through the windows casts long, red shadows.
The dim air and the faint, distant murmur of the classrooms.
Every time I walk alone, the rhythmic sound of my footsteps grates on my ears, and my heart feels restless.

My hand, clutching my smartphone, is deathly cold.
A message from him still hasn't arrived.
I've checked it countless times since then, but the screen remains silent.
Every time I refresh the page with trembling fingers, my chest tightens.

Suddenly, a sweet voice reached me.
A lustrous, sweet, and somewhat provocative voice.
—It's that woman.
My heart leaps, and I stop in my tracks.
The voice coming from behind the wall is all too familiar to my ears.
My throat feels terribly dry.
I have to run. Even though I think that, my legs are shaking and I can't move.

Beyond the wall, where I peeked.
He and that woman are laughing together intimately.
His hand, smiling sweetly as it gently touches her shoulder.
That gesture is so natural, just like when he turns to me.

My chest creaks.
The back of my throat burns with pain, and tears well up.
Because this, this isn't love.
He's supposed to be looking only at me, so why?

“...H-huh...?”
My raspy voice trembled.
Every time my vision blurs with tears, I can't see him.
But the sweet voice clinging to my ears and the sound of their happy laughter are things I can't help but hear.

In my line of sight, he suddenly looked up.
In that moment, our eyes met.
Cold, shining eyes and slightly upturned lips.
A chill runs down my spine.

I have to run.
The moment I thought that, my feet stumbled and my knees gave way.
I felt like I heard a faint laugh from behind my back as I tried to run away on trembling legs, and my throat constricted.
—It's a lie.
Even if I think that, the reality doesn't disappear.

The next day, in the classroom.
Outside the window is a gray sky.
The heavy, hanging clouds feel like a cage with no escape, and my heart is restless.
I can't focus on the lesson at all.
—His sweet voice and gentle smile won't leave my head.

Suddenly, in my line of sight.
The sight of him walking down the hallway.
Seeing him walk side-by-side with that woman is painful to watch.
My chest creaks.
My throat is terribly dry, and tears well up.

—Why.
He's supposed to be looking only at me.
He whispered that he loved me so sweetly.
The hand that is laughing and gently touching that woman is the same one he uses with me.

I clutch my smartphone with trembling hands.
A message from him still hasn't arrived.
If I were to confront him right here, right now.
—He might end up hating me.
The moment that thought crossed my mind, my knees shook.

In the empty classroom, my smartphone vibrated.
On the screen, a message from him.
“Where are you now?”
Just those few words.
That alone makes my chest tingle sweetly.
Every time I type a reply with trembling fingers, my heartbeat is so loud I can't help it.

“In the classroom...”
The moment I sent it, my smartphone vibrated.
“I'm coming to see you right now. Wait for me.”
Those words are so sweet, my chest burns with heat.
Because he's coming to see me.
He's looking only at me.
—Even if that's a lie.

A few minutes later, his figure appeared beyond the open door.
He smiles and gently reaches out his hand.
His hand is so warm that I unconsciously interlace my fingers with his.

“Were you crying?”
The fingertips gently touching my cheek are deathly cold, yet comfortable, and I can't resist.
“...It's... nothing...”
Every time I repeat that in a raspy voice, my chest tightens terribly.

“Come.”
A sweet, low, and irresistibly strong voice.
The moment I heard those words, my whole body tingled sweetly.
No, I'm being controlled.
Even though I know that, his voice is too sweet, and I can no longer pull away.

He smiles with satisfaction and whispers softly in my ear.
“...Good girl.”
Those words are so sweet, my chest aches terribly.
Even though I'm being controlled, my heart is being filled with sweetness.

I can't go back anymore.
I have no choice but to fall deeper and deeper into his sweet voice and gentle fingertips.

Lingering Echoes and Ruin

The night city.
The cold wind stings my cheeks.
Every time I walk through the sparsely populated alley, only my footsteps echo.
Clutching my smartphone with trembling fingers, a deep sense of unease churns within my chest.

The place where I was to meet him.
In front of the darkened cafe.
I suddenly looked up, and there he was.
His smile, illuminated by the moonlight, was terribly calm, sweet, and inescapable.

“...What’s wrong? You’re trembling.”
The sweet voice whispered in my ear makes my chest tighten.
No, I mustn't press him.
Even though I think that, I cannot stop my tears.

“...I... to you...”
I ask in a raspy, trembling voice.
The back of my throat burns with pain, and my knees are shaking.
But I have to be sure.
Whether that sweet voice is real or not.

“...I’m not loved by you, am I?”
My voice, blurred by tears, trembled.
My throat is terribly dry, and I feel suffocated.
The sweet, aching anxiety deep in my chest and the scene I saw earlier are stuck in my mind and won't go away.

At that moment, he smiled softly.
A calm, sweet, and bottomless smile.
—Cold.
The moment I thought that, our lips met gently.

“I love you, more than anyone else.”
It is sweet, gentle, and makes my heart melt.
There is no way to verify if those words are truth or lies anymore.
But his voice is so sweet that I cannot escape.

A single tear falls.
He gently pulls his lips away and, while still smiling, strokes my hair.
His fingertips are terribly cold, yet comfortable, and I cannot resist.

“There, don't cry.”
Every time he whispers sweetly, my chest burns with heat.
Even though I am being controlled, my heart is being filled with sweetness.
I can't go back now.
I have no choice but to sink deeper into his sweet voice and gentle fingertips.

Morning.
The sky outside the window is clear, and dazzling light shines through the curtains.
But that light is somehow cold, and the darkness deep in my chest does not fade.

On the bed, while clutching his shirt, I open my smartphone with trembling fingers.
There is only one message from him on the screen.

“Thanks for yesterday. Let's meet again soon.”
Just those few words.
But I can feel my heart being filled with sweetness just from that.
Every time I trace those letters with my trembling fingers, I feel like I'm suffocating.

But in the corner of my mind, a cold voice is whispering.
The sight of him laughing familiarly with that woman.
The voice whispering sweetly and the hand touching me gently.
Even though I know painfully well that it wasn't a dream.

—Even so, I can't go back now.
Within this sweet, painful, and inescapable control, I sink into an endless night.
Bound by his sweet voice and gentle fingertips, I fall into an endless subjugation.