How Haru Kaida Changed Me

I suddenly realized that it has been exactly one year since I started supporting Kaida... and I felt like writing about "how Kaida's words and songs changed me."

It is a big change that I started my first-ever fan activities, buying various goods like acrylic stands, and even buying a "plushie" that I thought I would never buy, but above all, the biggest change is that "I have come to love singing, which I used to hate so much."

...No, that's not quite right. The truth is, I "actually liked singing" all along, but I was so bad at it that I convinced myself I "hated singing."

But, thanks to Kaida's "The guy who sings loudly even if he's bad is the coolest one! If anyone laughs at you, I'll tell them off for you!" words, the feeling of "Oh, it's okay for me to sing too! I want to be able to sing!" welled up inside me, and the biggest change in my life is that I started going to karaoke alone for 3 hours, once or twice a week.

To begin with, perhaps because I haven't listened to much Japanese music, I didn't have much of a repertoire to sing at karaoke.

The only songs I could barely manage to sing were "A Cruel Angel's Thesis," "Beyond the Time," and "My Revolution" lol

Moreover, I couldn't do falsetto, so I would skip the high notes in the opening of "A Cruel Angel's Thesis" where it goes "Become a legend," and the high notes at the end of "Beyond the Time" where it goes "Beyond the Time," so I basically had no songs I could sing properly lol

That was me, but by being exposed to many "cover songs" by Nijisanji members, starting with Kaida, I was able to discover many wonderful songs and started practicing the ones that made me feel "I want to try singing this."

...Little by little, I started to be able to sing, and I began going to karaoke with my husband more often.

Actually, my husband is incredibly good at singing, and when I request a song that I love but think "This is absolutely impossible for me!", he's able to sing it perfectly... and really well, after about a week lol... Ugh... I'm so jealous...

While receiving various advice from my husband, and being encouraged by him saying "You've gotten much better compared to when you started!" when I felt down because I wasn't improving, my repertoire increased, and I became someone who just loves karaoke.

While doing that, a friend from my choir group invited me, saying, "The two of us go to karaoke every month, would you like to join us?"

It sounded fun, so I immediately agreed to join, but... since they are in a choir, these two are also incredibly good lol

Furthermore, that karaoke group grew by one or two members... and everyone is abnormally good!!!! lol
"It's easier to sing with the pitch bar on, right?"
If you turn on the pitch bar, it shows your score too, right?! No matter what song they sing, everyone averages over 95 points!!!!Except for me! lol...It really hurts... being the only one around 85 points (´；ω；`)uuu

I seriously wanted to go home and wanted to say, "Can we turn off the pitch bar?" But wouldn't that be losing? Losing to myself? Thinking that, I somehow, somehow managed to motivate my miserable self to keep singing lol... This is also training...

That said, don't you think... that someone like me shouldn't be among such high-level people? You would think that, right? It's not about self-deprecation, I just naturally think that...

So, not because I wanted attention or comfort, but quite seriously, I asked, "Um... my level is so much lower than everyone else's, is it really okay for me to participate..."
The oldest sister in the group said,
"Eh? You're not bad at all, to begin with? You've gotten much better compared to when you first started."
She said that, but since she's an adult, I could only think she was just being polite, so I said,
"Oh, no, you don't have to be so polite..."
Then she said,
"No, no, no lol. You're really not bad. You're hitting the notes properly. You don't need to worry about the score. It's okay lol. Besides, you've gotten much better compared to the beginning!"
Since she said that, I figured if I'm not a bother, I'll continue to participate once a month.

Well, my husband, who basically can't give empty compliments, also says "You've gotten much better compared to the beginning," so I believe that has credibility and I'm using it as fuel.

In the meantime, I've become able to hit the high notes and falsettos that I couldn't before, and I can now properly sing "A Cruel Angel's Thesis" and "Beyond the Time" lol

One thing that's a shame is that my key seems to be hopelessly incompatible with the keys of Kaida's original songs... so there are many songs I can't sing... but I have become able to sing at least "Tsuki ga Kirei da"!

My husband even praised me, saying, "You're actually hitting the right notes!" I'm so happy...

By the way, my husband seems to have memorized the original songs by Kaida that I listen to just by hearing them from the side, and he sings various ones like "Transparent Heart Was Crying," "Memory of Water," and "Monologue"... I'm happy, but it's also frustrating...

But! I'm so happy that I've become able to sing a few ROF-MAO songs that I thought were absolutely impossible last year!!!

I tried singing "Dreamer's High" just to see, and it was a pleasant surprise that I could sing it quite smoothly!

But this one doesn't really end for a while at the end, so it's a bit tough lol. It's fun, though lol.

With all that said, my repertoire has grown a lot, and I'm now in a state where I don't have trouble finding things to sing lol. If you ask if I'm good, I'm not particularly good, but it seems I've reached a level where people listening can do so without feeling uncomfortable.

And above all, it's fun, and the three hours of karaoke every week fly by lol. Thanks to Kaida, who lit a fire under the parts of myself I didn't know... no, the things I actually wanted to do and the feelings that were smoldering inside me, I've been able to find a very enjoyable hobby.

Thank you so much, Kaida! Thanks to you, I've learned the joy of singing!