Work, Money, and Marriage/Divorce: Three Questions to Explore the 'Life Philosophy' Underlying Every Decision
In our working lives, we sometimes encounter questions that have no right answer.
The 'pain of enduring work you don't want to do' versus the 'time passing by while you are unable to reach for the work you want to do'.
Which do you find more painful?
Is there anyone currently struggling with this?
I believe which one feels more painful varies from person to person.
Both weigh heavily on our hearts, but the quality of that pain is completely different.
One is the agony of running with weights on your feet, while the other is the frustration of watching the blue sky from inside a cage.
To you, who are swaying between these two types of 'pain'.
Before rushing to find an answer, why not pose a few questions to your own heart?
Question 1: Is work a 'means of living' or 'self-expression' for you?
This may be where your values regarding work emerge most strongly.
It is also a part where your values regarding money emerge significantly.
There are those who, even when faced with some unreasonable situations, find those feelings vanish the moment they see their bankbook with their salary deposited.
Conversely, aren't there also people who simply cannot offset these things with money?
This is not a matter of which is correct, but a fundamental difference in values regarding work and money.
To put it another way, could it be a difference in 'life philosophy'?
Don't you sometimes find yourself unsure of what you are seeking?
First, let's dig deeper into what you yourself are seeking from the activity of 'work' the most.
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If you have resigned yourself to the idea that the essence of work is a 'means to earn a living and enrich your private life,' then what is truly painful might be the 'work you don't want to do'.
Because having your time or spirit unreasonably eroded threatens the very foundation of your life.
On the other hand, if you strongly seek 'self-actualization' or 'proof of your own existence' in your work, what becomes a serious poison is 'not being able to do the work you want to do'.
No matter how good the conditions are, days where you cannot pour in your passion create an illusion as if your very existence is being rendered transparent by society.
Are you seeking 'security' in your work?
Or are you seeking 'meaning'?
Question 2: Is your current distress caused by 'physical fatigue' or 'spiritual starvation'?
Next, try to observe the contours of the 'distress' you are currently feeling.
What work you don't want to do brings is 'mental wear (fatigue)'.
The sensation of your life points being whittled away by enduring things you dislike, being overly considerate, and pouring energy into tasks you don't want to perform.
This is a scream saying, 'I don't want to wear myself down any further.'
On the other hand, what not being able to do the work you want to do brings is 'mental starvation (incompletecombustion)'.
The sensation of unfulfilled desires, unexpressed passion, and energy with nowhere to go slowly rotting inside you.
It is a thirst to 'use yourself up more.'
Is your heart currently screaming from excessive load?
Or are you starving for a passion that has no outlet?
Question 3: Five years from now, which will be more unbearable: 'regret over failure' or 'regret over not doing it'?
Finally, try to step into the shoes of your future self and look back.
When your self five years from now looks back at your current choices, which path will evoke a deeper sense of nausea?
'Five years of enduring a job you hate and becoming exhausted'
'Five years of staying in a safe place and continuing to run away from what you truly want to do'
The former is 'the pain of abuse', and the latter is 'the remorse of stagnation'.
People can come to terms with 'the pain of trying and failing' over time, but 'the dissatisfaction of refusing to even try' becomes heavier as the years go by, accumulating in the heart like sediment as an undeniable regret.
Conclusion: Bringing your 'non-negotiable axis' to the surface
'The pain of work you don't want to do' and 'the dissatisfaction of not being able to do the work you want to do'.
There is no answer common to everyone for the question of which is more 'distressing'.
This is because the answer is the very set of values that defines what you dislike most and what you cherish most in life.
Do you dislike a life of enduring things you hate?
Do you dislike a life of killing your passion to play it safe?
Facing this question is also a process of bringing to light the 'axis' of how you wish to live your life.
Up to this point, we have considered the pain of 'having to do work you don't want to do' versus 'not being able to do the work you want to do.'
We have thought about which one is more difficult.
I believe that work and money are both things that take shape based on your own philosophy of life.
Work is not the only area where you are forced to make life choices.
Marriage and divorce are also things that involve major decisions when you face them as part of your own life.
Divorce, in particular, often involves more various kinds of pain than marriage.
Especially for women, economic issues inevitably follow, but there are many who decide to walk a path of hardship even without money.
Beyond that decision, a sense of refreshment and trust in oneself for having made the choice can sometimes emerge.
Conversely, there are also those who cannot divorce because they do not want to face economic hardship.
In that case, I think it may also be necessary to be prepared to endure unreasonable situations in exchange.
In any case, isn't the final decision itself the very life philosophy that person is seeking?
And this is not a matter of which is good or bad.
Both are the results of the individual's own decision.
📌 To you, who are lost at a crossroads in life
Therefore, even if you are currently in either kind of pain, there is no need to rush or force an answer.
Simply observe quietly which pain you are currently carrying.
Because the strength to take a new step forward can only spring from knowing the true nature of your own pain.
The process of confirming your own feelings is truly painful.
But if you keep running away from that, you will continue to carry the pain of being unable to decide.
By opening the door to the 'beginning of a new life,' that pain will begin to head toward healing.
Just because you have made a decision once does not mean you have to continue that way forever.
In a long life, we encounter moments of hesitation and decision-making time and time again.
Perhaps life is something that continues as we repeat these cycles of hesitation and decision over and over.
If you are currently feeling lost, please try to search for your true feelings, even if it is painful.
And I hope you will take the time to ensure you do not leave behind any 'regrets for not being able to decide'.
You who are reading this article right now might perhaps be younger than me.
I hope this article serves as some kind of reference for you.
And if there is anyone older than me reading this, I am sure there are things you will empathize with, thinking, 'That is so true.'
If that is the case, I would be very happy.
It is strange.
As I write this article, I find that I have come to cherish those days when I struggled every time I had to make a decision.
Thank you for reading until the end.