A Birth Where a 2-Year-Old Witnessed a Cesarean Section
After the birth, I didn't have the energy to post, so there was a gap.
But I want to deliver this post with that kind of realistic feeling.
This birth was a slightly special one where my eldest son was also present.
First, let me look back at my previous birth.
Honestly, the last birth was tough.
Because it was during the COVID-19 pandemic, visitation was only allowed for one hour from just before the birth until after the baby was born.
Labor pains started in the middle of the night,
I fought the labor pains for about 16 hours,
and in the end, it became an emergency cesarean section.
In the end, because a cesarean section is a surgery, I couldn't have anyone present.
And even after the birth, visitation during my hospital stay was only once for 15 minutes.
Furthermore, my husband could only see the baby through a window.
Looking back at my previous birth,
I realize how much better this time was.
Since my first child was an emergency cesarean section,
it was already decided that this birth would also be a cesarean section.
Thanks to that, it was easy for my husband to take time off,
and after the surgery date was decided, he applied for paternity leave,
and he was able to start his paternity leave from the day of the surgery.
This is one of the advantages of a scheduled cesarean section.
My previous birth,
because it was an emergency and I had endured labor pains for a long time,
I was physically exhausted.
So, I had absolutely no feelings like the surgery being painful or scary.
Or rather, I didn't have the mental capacity to even think about that.
However, this time it was different.
While I was in a normal, healthy state and fully conscious,
the preparations for the surgery were steadily progressing.
First, I walked into the operating room myself and climbed onto the operating table.
It was a strange feeling.
Then, I was given anesthesia in my lower back and lay down.
This injection for the spinal anesthesia was the most painful part.
But maybe the doctor was skilled,
or my posture was good, because it was over in an instant.
(The doctor said my posture made it easy to do.)
As the preparations for the surgery progressed little by little like this,
'They are going to cut my stomach now...'
'The surgery is starting...'
the fear gradually began to emerge.
The maternity clinic I used this time
was a different hospital from the one for my eldest son,
and it was a clinic that allowed people to be present even for cesarean sections.
That someone could be present
was not something I had anticipated when I got pregnant,
and I thought I would never be able to have anyone present again,
so I was happy and felt reassured.
My husband was also happy.
And on top of that, my 2-year-old son could also be present.
But I was very anxious about whether my 2-year-old would throw a tantrum during the surgery
or cry because he was scared.
A little while after I received anesthesia,
my husband and son entered the operating room.
To enter the operating room, they put on hats, masks,
and shirts borrowed to keep them clean.
My son looked at me with a puzzled expression.
He seemed a little nervous.
Feeling that things were different than usual, I thought,
I must not show any anxiety,
and greeted them with a smile.
Rather than feeling fear or anxiety about the surgery,
I focused on making sure my son wouldn't cry and could feel at ease.
I had to act just like I always do!
More than the fear of the surgery,
the feeling of needing to reassure my son
became stronger.
Then the surgery began.
The procedure moved along quickly, and my second child was born safely.
I heard the doctor say, "Congratulations!"
In the next moment, I expected to hear the baby's first cry immediately.
But I didn't hear any crying.
"Huh...?"
For a split second, I felt a little anxious.
Then, shortly after,
I heard the baby's cry, weak but certain.
At that moment,
"Oh, thank goodness. They're born...!"
I felt relieved, and the tension in my body just melted away.
Tears came to my eyes naturally.
Of course, I was moved by the birth of my second child.
But just as much,
I was able to feel my eldest son's growth
as he watched over me quietly in the operating room.
I believe this was also
a moment I could only have felt
because he was able to witness the cesarean section.
It became an unforgettable birth
that we welcomed together as a family.