“For Someone Else” is the Key to Taking Action

Hello. This is Nishiki Ida.

I've been thinking about something lately.

It might read like a memo, but I'd like to write it down.




[If I were to work for the version of me back then (and even now, haha), what would I do?]

As I wrote in a previous article,

Since I was a child, I've had a complex about running away easily.

I can't explain it well, but

I think my thought process was probably something like this.

Failing, not going well, unable to do it, not knowing,
　　　　　　　↓(That kind of me is)
Embarrassing, pathetic, uncool, unattractive, ugly,
　　　　　　　↓(So)
Don't want to be seen, don't want to be known, don't want to be laughed at, don't want things to get awkward,
　　　　　　　↓(In that case)
Pretending to know, pretending to do, putting on a front, covering up, lying, running away,

To put it kindly, I was protecting myself by doing those things.

I was protecting myself from being deeply hurt, hurting others, and feeling embarrassed.

But because of that,

I became excessively afraid of getting hurt or feeling embarrassed.

That's why I can't easily take that first step.

That's why I end up running away halfway through.

I feel like that attitude is at the root of who I am.

But actually.

If I dig a little deeper into myself,

I realized something like this.

Focusing on myself → tends to lead to negative thinking

Focusing on others → tends to lead to positive thinking

Even though I say things like I'm afraid to take a step forward or I don't want to be embarrassed.

Looking back at the past, it wasn't that I had never taken a step forward at all.

There was a version of me that took action while holding onto fear and anxiety, or perhaps without feeling them much at all.

That was when I acted with the other person (someone else) in mind.

When I focus on myself,

“Can I do it...?”
“What if I fail...?”
“I don't want to be embarrassed...”
“I don't want to feel miserable again...”

and so on.

Negative thoughts often kick in.

But when I focus on others,

“How can I be of help?”
“Maybe doing this here would be better for them?”
“I want to solve this problem!”
“I think that...!”

and so on.

I discovered that positive thoughts start to work.



I have a strong feeling that this discovery could be useful for future actions. Haha


It might be a bit much to jump to a conclusion so easily, but.

If, among you all,

there are those who cannot take a step forward.
or are afraid of being embarrassed.

If there is someone out there who is struggling with this.

How will I be perceived?

Instead of that.

What can I do for the other person?
What do I want to do for the other person?
What does the other person need?

Like that.

If you try shifting your focus from your own perspective to the other person's perspective, you might find that you are surprisingly capable of taking action.

You know, this way of thinking might actually be quite important.

I wish I could convey this better...

For now.

Well then. See you. Someday.