Funny Answers My Child Gave

No. 640 The story introduced this time

Here, we feature stories that have become topics on the internet and in the news as "heartwarming stories that bring tears to your eyes," along with videos uploaded to YouTube and other platforms.

This time, I would like to introduce some of the "funny answers my child gave" that were copy-pasted on summary sites.

Regarding the posting date,
summary sites suggest that each of these was likely posted around October 27, 2006.

Content of the posts

・Find something in your house that weighs 72 kilograms and write it down

My daughter's first-grade math homework: "Find something in your house that weighs 72 kilograms and write it down."

Daughter's answer: "Mom." I added, "I discovered this when Mom was holding my little sister."

・My son's one-line diary

Son (1st grade): From the one-line diary he was told to start keeping last week. "Today, I went to swim-ming." He's been learning more kanji lately and seems to be panicking over how to use them orz

・At the kindergarten interview...

At the kindergarten interview... "Yes. Now, can you tell me your name? Please tell me." To this question... My daughter, who was three at the time, said, "It's written right there (on the application form), isn't it? Why do I have to say it again? You shouldn't just go around telling people your name!" ...orz I can't forget the way the principal's mouth and cheeks twitched. I'm glad she didn't fail. She's as sharp-tongued as ever, which is a problem (´･ω･`)

・First-grade Japanese: My son's answer

First-grade Japanese: Let your family know about the living things at school or things you found at school. Example: Moko the guinea pig (illustration) Eyes: black, round Mouth: eats munch-munch, long whiskers. Son: My little sister, [Name] (illustration) Mouth: eats munch-munch, thick legs, bottom that poops and pees.

・My son's math test

My son's math test: Problem: Verify the answer to 10 ÷ 2 = 5. Son's answer: "It is certainly correct." ...orz

・Write a short sentence

Back when I sat next to Hiro-kun in class, he wrote this in response to a question asking to write a short sentence using "~ shika ~ masen" (cannot do anything but ~):
「I do not keep deer.」

・My child (6 years old)

My child (6 years old) pointed at the white moon floating in the clear blue sky in the middle of the day and said to me with a smile,

「It's Earth! Earth is so nice!」
When I replied, 「Ma-chan, that's not Earth,」 she asked,
「Why??」
「Then, where do you think Ma-chan is right now?」
「At home!!」

No, that's not what I meant...

When she was introducing herself to relatives, she also confidently said, 「My favorite food is cheese. My least favorite food is a dry-cell battery!」...

・My daughter's answer

A Japanese test my daughter took when she was in first grade.
Since she was in first grade, the questions were in hiragana.

Question: Choose the correct word from the list below to fill in the ( ).
・( ) a shout
・( ) a dog's name
・( ) a trumpet

Options: call out, call, blow, pick up

My daughter's answers:
・(Hey!) a shout
・(Pippi) a dog's name
・(Poo) a trumpet

orz

・Look at a week's worth of newspapers and write down what you noticed

When I was in fourth grade, I had this homework assignment:
「Look at a week's worth of newspapers and write down what you noticed.」
I took it literally and wrote down what I noticed:

「Friday and Saturday newspapers are thick and contain many advertisements.

Since it's the weekend, many people go shopping, so I think they are fighting over customers.
Also, Monday newspapers are thin and only have two or three advertisements.
On Sunday, some of the ad staff and newspaper reporters are off, so there aren't enough people, which is probably why they are thin.」
I presented this with great confidence and froze the classroom.
The next person presented about a news article, and that's when I finally realized my mistake... orz



My daughter also often says things that are completely off the mark. I guess she really is my child...

..

・Write it inside the [ ]

Omusubi Kororin (The Rolling Rice Ball).
Sutton-ton.
Rolling, rolling, kororin,
Sutton-ton.

What do these words represent?
Write it inside the [ ].

What was heard from the hole [ ]

Answer [ yo. ]

・Depression

Third-grade science, a question asking to name the parts of a plant from a drawing.
The part that is swelling up and will soon bloom
　↓
「Depression」

「That's strange, the teacher definitely said that.」

There's no way that's true, orz

・My daughter's diary

It's not a test answer, but a recent diary entry from my second-grade daughter.

Today, I watched a skating video with my mom.
Oda no Bunary or someone like that appeared, and they were very good.

That must be Nobunari Oda.
Was it a mistake to show her a video of Surya Bonaly a long time ago?

・Wishes on a Tanabata strip

People say boys will be boys, but my second-grade daughter only plays with boys, so her way of thinking is also boyish.
On Tanabata strips, while girls write relatively realistic things like "I want to get better at piano" or "I want to be a singer"...

Boy A: "I want to meet Den-O."
Boy B: "I want to be able to cast a barrier."

My daughter: "I want to meet Pokémon."
...Boys will be boys... *sigh*

・What will she be in the future...

My daughter is currently in her middle year of kindergarten.
During her entrance exam, she saw a picture of a crocodile and answered, "A monster!"
The interviewer was impressed, saying, "It does look like a monster because it has fangs."

When she was in her first year, she drew a big circle on drawing paper and filled it with many dots.

The art teacher said, "It's a picture of everyone playing happily in the schoolyard."
When I counted the dots, it was the teacher plus the number of students in the class...

And just when I thought she had become a normal kindergartner, at her birthday party the other day,

Teacher: "What do you want to be in the future?"
Daughter: "An earthquake forecaster."

She had been saying she wanted to be a weather forecaster, but she said, "It's better to know about earthquakes than the weather, right?"

I don't know if she's a big thinker or just a goofball.

・Hard letters

When my eldest daughter was four years old,

"Mom, how do you read this 'hard U'?"

I wondered what she meant, and when I looked at where she was pointing, it was the character 'Ra' (ラ).

She thought the character 'U' looked 'hard' because it was blocky.

And yesterday, my second daughter, who just turned four, said the exact same thing...

・Something funny

A second-grade boy.
The last question on a Japanese language test reading comprehension section.

Question: "Write about something you found interesting after reading the text."

My son's answer: "Nothing."

That's... so blunt...

Video

I was unable to find a video based on this story.
As soon as I find one, I will post it and introduce it.

In closing

My note articles are not intended for profit.
I am simply writing these articles because I want to share stories that moved me to tears with all of you.

However, if there are any issues such as "copyright," please let me know and I will delete them.

The images posted are provided by Irasutoya and Minchirie.

Thank you for taking your time to read until the end.