Can you see what is truly important? Why I stopped chasing the number of 'likes'.
Thank you so much for everything!!
It's Koki!
This is sudden, but I have one question for everyone.
I have a question.
Right now, can you clearly see
what is truly important
right in front of you?
I know it sounds arrogant to ask that,
but until a little while ago,
I couldn't see it at all.
Previously, I wrote an article on note
about the 'message from my family'
that I use as my smartphone wallpaper.
A precious letter I received from my wife and beloved son.It is the most important screen in the world,
filled with everything
I work so hard for.
And yet, lately,
I had even stopped seeing
the words from my family on that screen.
Every time I opened my phone,
what I saw
was not my family's message,
but the [time] and [notifications].
Chased by work, chased by time,
I was on the verge of a breakdown.
Then, something happened
that made me suddenly remember what was truly important.
Ayano-san reminded me of my starting point
The person who reminded me of what was important
was a fellow note creator
and a truly important friend of mine,
Ayano-san.
[Click here for Ayano-san's note]
One day, Ayano-san
found that article about my family
that I had posted a long time ago.
And she left me
this comment:
'I almost teared up at the letter from your wife and child.'
When I received that comment,
I felt a tightness in my chest.
And I read that article I wrote long ago
slowly, one more time.
I almost cried.
'Oh, how foolish I was.
I had even stopped seeing the most important message.'
I want to be a strength to someone, I want to protect my family.
In the work I continued with those thoughts,
thanks to Ayano-san, I realized
that I had lost sight of the true love closest to me
and my own starting point.
Ayano-san, thank you so, so much
for waking me up.
I have shared this realization and my gratitude to Ayano-san
in my own voice on my Stand.fm (audio stream).
If you'd like, please listen to that as well.
The joy of that day, which I will never forget
When I first started note,
getting a 'like' on my articles
made me so, so happy.
I still cannot forget
the emotion of that time.
And I am still just as happy now.
Someone I didn't know
empathized with my clumsy words.
They supported me and pressed the button.
That fact alone warmed my heart.
The ones who saved me back then
were undoubtedly all of you I met on note.
I still have nothing but gratitude
for everyone who supported me.
That is why I made a firm decision in my heart:
'I will go to the articles of everyone who liked mine,
even if I have to crawl there.'
I thought that was the greatest sincerity
I could offer.
Squeezing in time between work,
I would read everyone's articles,
press 'like' with all my heart,
and add them to my magazine.
Even if it meant cutting into my sleep,
I believed without a doubt
that this was my way of 'returning the favor with sincerity'.
The endless limit I saw after running desperately
However, now that I have been blessed with connections
with so many people, the reality
has far exceeded my personal limits.
Work, housework, childcare, and new challenges.
I once did a project where I posted for 30 consecutive days
while working 300 hours a month.
As for now...
Thankfully, I am blessed with many clients,
so when combined with my freelance work,
it hasn't changed much.
Within the limited 24 hours,
even when I grabbed my smartphone
during the rare moments I thought I could,
and desperately tried to return the favor,
I would hit note's 'like limit'.
'I don't have enough likes, I don't have enough time,
but I have to go return the favor...'
As for whether I could read note carefully,
for someone like me who wants to read thoroughly,
there was a wall there too.
Before I knew it, instead of just between work,
I started feeling guilty in my heart
that I wasn't returning the favor on note.
The favors I owed to everyone piled up,
and I was in a state where I just couldn't return them.
Every time I looked at the screen,
I was crushed by the guilt
of 'I'm sorry'.
I am truly, truly sorry.
Due to my personality, using a magazine instead of a like
doesn't seem to suit me either...
I still want to read the articles
of those who support me, and then press 'like'.
Seeing a screen lined with heart marks
was certainly happy.
But in my daily life of scrolling through
a screen of unreturned favors,
I stopped once again.
'Is this
really what I wanted to do?'
Cutting my lunch break, cutting my sleep,
to read articles.
I felt my limits.
Now, I want to enjoy the articles of all you precious people
during the spare time I have to read them happily.
That is what I am thinking.
Because sacrificing my most important family
and my own heart
would be counterproductive.
My new choice for the future
After worrying a lot and thinking a lot,
I decided on the path forward.
I will let go of chasing 'mutual likes'.
Within the limited time,
I want to increase the proportion of the precious time I can use on note
to 'writing' itself, rather than 'returning favors'.
From now on,
I will stop being swayed by
the number of followers or likes,
and as an 'author',
I will burn my life into writing articles
that reach your heart deeply and directly.
They might be few in number...
The update frequency might drop...
Even so, through that one article,
I want to deliver a 'work' that makes the heart
of someone who is truly in trouble right now
feel a little lighter.
Warm interactions in the comments
will continue to be my emotional support,
so I will continue to cherish them.
Also, in my spare time, I will continue to enjoy
everyone's articles as before.
But regarding returning past likes,
I hope you can kindly watch over
my selfishness of saying, 'I'm sorry, I can't return them anymore'.
To you, who are beyond the numbers
I stared at my smartphone wallpaper
once again.
What I must protect,
the warmth I truly wanted to deliver,
was there.
Rather than lining up heart marks to collect numbers,
even if clumsy, I want to be close to just one person's heart
with words filled with soul.
I am
for those who worry that work isn't going as planned.
For those worrying about changing jobs.
For those who wish to increase their income.
For those worrying about complexes.
For those who have experienced financial hardship.
Because I have gone through the same struggles, I believe I can deliver articles that, however clumsily, offer some empathy for how these people feel.
I am now convinced that this is the true form of 'sincerity' that I wanted to embody.
From now on, I hope to convey the true meaning of 'the courage to take a step forward' through the articles I write.
The frequency of my replies might decrease.
And the number of people reading my own articles might also decrease.
To be honest,
I also feel very scared...
Even so, I want to reach people by writing now.
That is what I think.
I will focus on my writing so that I can properly reach those I am able to reach.
When your heart is truly tired, or when you need it, if you could just drop by and read my words,
that alone would make me happy.
Ayano-san, and everyone who found me.
Thank you all, truly, always.😊🌈✨