Grumbling Stories: Things Left Undone
I am writing about things that make me think 'Hmm, I wonder.' I will compile them into a magazine called 'Yassan's Grumbling Stories'.
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When you search for 'things you regret when you die', many similar lists appear. This seems to be based on Bronnie Ware's book, 'The Top Five Regrets of the Dying'. The author worked in palliative care for many years and attended to numerous patients in their final moments.
I haven't read it, so I won't offer a direct critique, but the list appears to be as follows.
I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
I wish that I had let myself be happier.
I felt uncomfortable with the word 'moment' in the Japanese title, so I checked the original title, which is 'The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.' 'The Dying' means something like 'when one is dying.' It is not a 'moment'.
I think the list above is reasonable as regrets one might have when feeling that 'death' is near. It is said that the book also contains the following:
Even if you regret your life on your deathbed, you can find peace of mind by accepting and forgiving yourself as you are.
To live a life without regrets, it is important to live honestly according to your heart and to be grateful for all happiness.
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By the way, my 95-year-old mother has been in a group home since I became ill. She has no physical problems, but due to dementia, her memory is completely gone.
When I ask her, she has completely forgotten about the painful or difficult times. She doesn't seem troubled by things left undone and appears happy.
Although it may depend on the person, I don't see many people in dementia care facilities who are consumed by sadness. Perhaps forgetting is also a form of happiness.
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Now, as for me, there are two things I think I might regret leaving undone.
One is taking my wife on a trip. Given my current state of health, that is not possible.
One thing is to finish reading my book collection before I die. There are still about 1,500 books left. Even if I read one every two days, it will take nearly 10 years. That's cutting it close. It's a shame. Oh well.
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The author of "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying" worked in palliative care. They were likely nursing patients with terminal cancer. People with terminal cancer probably had quite clear consciousness until near the very end.
I cannot guarantee that I won't develop dementia in the future, but if my consciousness remains clear until near the end, I will have no choice but to give up on the things I feel I left undone. "Giving up" is also one way to find peace of mind.
In that sense, it might have something in common with the words in the aforementioned book.
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"Yassan's Grumbling Tales" can be found here
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